This my first time to write in this board, i'm not hikikomori but close, never have a job in my 32 years on earth, i worked as a volunteer for 7 years and i loved it, i was socially active, working with other people and meeting with them everyday, having fun in the weekends, but things changed, the organization i worked for changed and i did not like the change, many friends walked out and i did, in the end, after that i did not find any job, i tried to work as a freelancer but that's hard, so hard.

Now i don't like to meet any of my friends, i feel ashamed of myself, not "man" enough, useless, i just hate myself, that's why i prefer to stay away from people, but the more i keep myself away the harder it gets to go back, many tried to help me but they know as i know that I am the only one who can help me, if i'm not serious about changing myself then there is nothing they can do.

People want to feel that they are useful for others, want to feel that they are a part of society, for a hikikomori it will take a lot of effort to go out and relearn how to be social, but start with smallest step, going few steps outside home might be enough as the first step.

As for myself, all i need is to find work, notice i said "work" not job, and i'm working now on something to start my own business, it's been long 10 years and I've had enough.