>>1-san, I've been in your exact position before. Exact.
I am a 15 year old highschool student. Actually, I'm homeschooled now. But, when in highschool, I feel that I fell in love with a girl, much like you did. I wanted nothing but her, I was completly in love with her, and I would die for her in an instant. This was me being foolish. It was 6th grade that I fell in love with her. At the end of 6th grade, she walked home, to her house, with a good friend of mine. I know this because I often stalked her.
I then got caught. She hated me, and never spoke to me agian. However, you know your stalking faults, so I will not speak of this anymore.
Sometime recently, I beleive even at age 15 I'm definatly a pedophile of somesort. Girl from 8-16 I like. I am not that twisted to do something sexual to young girl, but I do like them, much like you.
Anyway, I loved the girl for 4 years untill I finally gave up last year. As soon as I gave up on her, I was even more lonely than before - then I did the whole "I don't give a shit about anything" thing, and even lost interest in things like games and anime. I did the fucking retarded teenage "grunge" movement and tried to fit in with the cool kids that did pot. This wasn't my thing, and I soon returned to my normal hobbies. Almost a week afterwards, I found the perfect girl for me. Her looks are absolutely perfect, exactly what I've wanted. She's very sweet, very loving, very mature, very smart. We share common interests. She's pretty funny to, I'm comfortable around her, and everything is shining and perfect. We've been together almost 7 months now, and it's all I could want out of life.
But, while in "love" with the first girl, I though I'd die a virgin and that she was the only one meant for me.
The moral of the story: There are other fish in the sea, no matter how hard it is to beleive or accept. Right now, my current girlfriend, I couldn't imagine life without her. I can't beleive in a life without her, but I know one exists. Beleiving/wanting and knowing are two different things, and you must be strong.