I would like to contribute to this board in my own way. No, this is not someone trying to follow in the footsteps of Itoko Otoko, nor is it an attempt to brag. Nay, this is an attempt to describe what happens when you have a REAL girlfriend. All you weenies who think that online = real, you can go over in the corner.
I just had my dick sucked and it was fantabulous. The only real way to get your girlfriend to do this is to VOLUNTEER IT FIRST. I'm not saying that it's a guarantee, but the whole idea is to build trust. "Hey, if you haven't had this done to you before, give it a shot. Few other dudes will volunteer it." Verbatim, this worked like a charm with my girlfriend. Yeah, at first, it wasn't so great, but eventually, she warmed up to me playing the bearded clam (Well, hers ain't so bearded) quite nicely.
I would like to point out that I am writing this on my laptop not five minutes after the Lewinsky in question. Her arm is around me as I type this. I can't imagine why she's doing that, but hey, I'm not complaining.
Anyway, here's the essence of a good blowjob: proper placement. It doesn't matter if you're not getting deepthroated, but it's cool if she's doing the right thing with her hand. The right combination of movements of mouth and hand are what makes a good BJ better than sex.
This is about as coherent as Revolution #9 by the Beatles, but she's given me road head, too. It's happened at least twice: both on the way to anime cons. This is the LIFE. Then again, it's the only way to make the state of Delaware of any interest at all. A well-phased road head will span just Delaware and nothing but. Eyes on the road, people.
So I just got a BJ and chances are you didn't. My girlfriend rocks ass at it. No, no pics, and no, I'm not some petulant little kid who is "NO RLY I JUST HAD TEHS ORGY IN GIRLS LOX0R R00M AND YOR MOM WAS THERE TO NO I REFORMAT MY GENTOO KERNEL AND RECOMPILE MEINS SLACKWARE M$ EV!L!!! LOLOLOLOLZ orz"
Thank you.
This was an entertaining post. You deserve a reward.
Girlfriend, suck him off again!
PS. You never really defined what "proper placement" is.
Apologies. There was one thing she did that drove me wild, but it was kinda hard to stay up: I sat on the edge of the bed and leaned back, she just sucked gently as I wrapped my legs around her middle/upper back. Oh man, if she could have held me up, that felt teh pwn. The other way was just the conventional me sitting, she kneeling (Although I prefer being on the bed horizontally, but this is easier for her - gentlemen, remember that she's doing all the work and it's your job to not only appreciate it, but to make it less difficult for her!). The trick is that since deepthroating is out of the question, she just wraps her fingers around the base of my shaft as much as she can and uses her lips to tighten just around the base of the head. The noises this generates drive me wild.
(A pointer: girls like to hear that you're enjoying it. Moan a little, breathe heavy, tell her how great it feels. If she's doing it right, you'll have to force yourself NOT to make some happy noises!)
Oh, what the fuck. You had a BJ so "not five minutes after" you jump on the computer and made a thread about it. Maybe you're BSing, maybe you're not, but either way you come off as insensitive at best and a troll at worst.
Is this kind of thread what this board is going to be about? I thought it was "Love and Romance," not "The Penthouse Forum."
And funny how you mock computer nerds in your last paragraph but say you got head whilst driving to an anime con twice in the previous paragraph.
>>5 wins the "didn't get it and probably never will" award.
I joked about it, she said "That sounds like it'd be funny as hell, go do it" and I told her I was only joking. She said I wouldn't have the guts, I said I didn't want to insult her. She said go ahead and do it, and since she and I swore long ago not to play any stupid couple games, I did it, I posted it, and she was the one who clicked on "create new thread."
Maybe I'm not the one here who needed a halfway decent BJ around here.
Personally, I prefer cunnilingus to fellatio.
Partial agreement. I like getting, but giving is tons of fun, too. I don't know why guys aren't big on it.
Neither do I.
i ment getting, not taking. Whichever.
>>8
Nice placement of sage.
That aside, isn't this Love & Romance, not Sex? I mean, discussing sex in the context of a relationship seems fine, but this advice could be given to a hooker just as easily as a girlfriend.
> Her arm is around me as I type this.
This makes your thread bullshit. Infact every post you make in this thread will be bullshit, because she will sertenly be following it aswell.
I bet she's horrible at it and that your x did a better job
Nah, your mom wasn't all that great.
>>Infact every post you make in this thread will be bullshit, because she will sertenly be following it aswell.
OH NOES, OUR PRIVATE WEBSIET IS IN THE HANDS OF THE MAIN ENEMY!
What does "sertenly" mean?
>>9
The usual complaint involves the supposed smell and/or pubic hair in the mouth. Protips: If it smells, you shouldn't be down there anyway because she has an infection or she never washes. If you eat her out right, you should not be grazing hair.
Basically, don't be a dumbass and you too can muffdive like the masters.
Another tip: a shower can fix that smell and doubles as a good place to start the deed itself. ;-)
>>15 certainly, thank you for pointing that out.
>...All you weenies who think that online = real, you can go over in the corner.
>...Her arm is around me as I type this....
Does she think you're a big man for insulting people on the internet?
How do you think he got the blowjob, silly?
this thread sucks and I hate >>1
BJ's are cool. For sure. I just like to jump into the sex though
>>22
whole body effort, huh. that's hot, but make sure to lube up real good before you jump in.
>>23
rofl
wow this is amazing, this is just like densha otoko!!!
sigh how i miss that show :(
"Her arm is around me as I type this. I can't imagine why she's doing that, but hey, I'm not complaining."
>>1
Perhaps because sex can be an expression of love and now she feels close to you? Douchebag.
Please don't bump this shitty thread anymore.
What the fuck. Someone gets a blowjob or a little pussy and everyone goes apeshit and calls it densha otoko. wtf is that.
>>28
What the fuck. Someone says not to bump this shitty thread anymore and everyong goes apeshit and bumps it. wtf is that.
>>28
What the fuck. Someone makes a sarcastic remark and you fail to understand it. wtf is that.
Looks too blatant to be sarcasm... I would guess it was posted in the wrong thread, or a comment on the entire /love/ board posted in a random thread.
You dork! You waited too long and then she moved on. Oh well.
BJ FTW!!
-snake eyes!-
LOOK AT ME! A GIRL PUT HER MOUTH ON MY PENIS AND I LIKED IT! YOU GUYS WILL NEVER DO THAT! JUST ME! ME ME ME!
I felt the piercing stench of fail already when I entered the L&R-board, I have now discovered the source.
I'd have no trouble eating her if it wasn't for HIV. Once I have a new girlfriend I'll insist on having some test before I give head. (but oh boy, I'd probably do it a lot)
>>33
thread terrorist
My summer flick treated me to one. She wasn't really trying I think, and she didn't excite me much but wow! that was amazing still!
I need a girlfriend!
looking around wildly - oh damn, this is not so easy at 5:06 am
nothing beats a good blowjob. well, except for a mediocre double-blowjob. or a titfuck where she sucks on the head.
life isn't always so bad.
> Few other dudes will volunteer it.
Is she living in the 50s, that she fell for that line?