Forever Single? (47)

1 Name: yokken : 2006-01-25 23:13 ID:Hhak8HwQ

Alright, I don't know about anybody else here, but I've never had a girlfriend. At least, not in real life. I've had one real girlfriend online, and we've had our problems and our.. not-problems. Anyway, we're not together anymore but we talk almost every day still, between friends and more-than-friends. I feel that I'll never have a real-life girlfriend, and that nobody will ever admire me in the way that I admire them. Am I just unlikeable? Is it because I'm 40 lbs overweight? I can't help it-- I eat 600 calories or more UNDER the recommended amount for my height and weight and I still manage to stay at 200. I'm more of a quiet person, I haven't asked many people out. People say that I need to concentrate on my schoolwork before a girlfriend and/or a job; my response is: I have concentrated on school for 15 damn years, I think I deserve a distraction. I have straight A's and I have nothing to faze that. I sometimes find myself flirting with a girl in German class, only to be kicked in the shin twice because she's aggressive and I said a minor sexual slur. MINOR, mind you.

Am I stupid? Am I unlikeable? Am I just too plain smart? I know I'm a nerd, but COME ON. I don't want a girlfriend from sympathy- I want a girl who honestly cares about how I feel, how my day was. It doesn't have to be a really intimate relationship- sex can honestly wait. Hugging is enough, kissing is great. Seeing as I've never had a hug from a single girl outside of my family [cousin] and I've never had a kiss, I feel somewhat cheated out of a relationship.

Am I to be forever single? I guess only time will tell... And advice would be appreciated. Thanks. x-x;

2 Name: Sakurina : 2006-01-25 23:26 ID:Heaven

With that negative attitude, no wonder you're so depressed! Cheer up and things will work out. And you're 15 years old. You've got all your life ahead of you.

Love is one of those things you can wait for. Don't rush. As Phil Collins once said, you can't hurry love.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-25 23:51 ID:cdlNfnWP

>>2 thats so damn true.
I have no clue about your weight. Only KG tells me something. But even if you're fat you can have a girlfriend. We (guys) are basicly ugly, and girls don't really look for someone cute. Maybe they do but first thing that counts is personality. So even if you are looking like a total looser, don't act like one. Stop whining and do something with your life. You think that you are unlikable? Fell bad with it? Then change it! Try to find something you are good at and just enjoy it. You are only 15 fuckin years old! I had my first girlfriend when I was 19 (she was 16 though...). And I can call her girlfriend cuz I was meeting her in real life, we kissed, we had sex etc.

You feel fat? So don't eat so much shit! If you have to eat, then eat vegetables. Forget about KFC or McDonalds. Just think what you want more - girlfriend or cheesburger from the clown in red wig.

4 Name: yokken : 2006-01-26 01:03 ID:Heaven

lmfao @ 3 - I don't eat McDonalds or KFC. I rarely eat that, and it's only when I'm looking for "fast food" because I'm on the run. I guess it doesn't help that my last quarter History class viewed me as a terrorist... and I'm not kidding on that. My teacher did this little "torture or not-torture" game. I didn't raise my hand to count for "torture" on any of the methods he listed. He said, "Since I know that everyone else in here, including myself, is wondering, what do you percieve as torture?" Now, having read Vince Flynn's "Memorial Day," he describes various methods of torture that the main character uses to get information. I described a few of these methods to the class, and made the girls next to me wet their pants with terror [not literally, but they were seriously scared, I guess]. Anyway, pretty much anyone besides guys was afraid to sit next to me in class [we have assigned seats]. I was, from then on, percieved as a terrorist to my 7th hour History class. The word spread by miouth throughout the entire "girl" network in my grade [we're in a Freshman center] and I basically was cut off from the opposite sex.

So anyway, maybe that's why. And, in KG, 200 lbs is.. approx 95 kg. Or something like that.

And my friend, when you say that you can have a girlfriend when you're fat-- you obviously haven't been to my school. Everything revolves around looks in my school. It doesn't matter if you're the nicest guy-- if you weigh more than 160 lbs, you're out of the picture.

So anyway, I'm going to stop ranting because my ex-online girlfriend is giving me a lot of trouble. Thanks again for the criticism. I'm sure it'll make me a MUCH better person, guys. Because, you know, I've never tried ANYTHING to get a girlfriend. I just expect one to pop into my life. But yeah, thanks again. You guys own.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-26 02:06 ID:Heaven

>>4
about the weight, do you exercise much? it isn't just what you eat - being active really helps too.

6 Name: Sakurina : 2006-01-26 02:40 ID:Heaven

>>4

> ex-online girlfriend

Wait, what? You broke up?

7 Name: B bro : 2006-01-26 03:34 ID:MUWyWU95

well at least u realize your problem yourself. work on having someone to care for you. dont just expect them to pop up into your life. if the girls hate you for what they think as being a 'terrorist', then just explain to them to change their perseption towards you and maybe they'll be interested in knowing the real you.

probably he's not reading thus because he says that he's gonna stop ranting...good luck anyways.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-26 07:06 ID:uR3S7Vzy

>>1
Kid, don't worry because you are very young. I got five years on you and I too haven't had a girlfriend and I chose a major in college that consumes my life (Electrical Engineering, I chose it to challenge myself and because I like it). Sorry you got other problems, but what alleviated the pain? Extra curricular activities. I'm part of five clubs, run one of them, and am involved in a UAV research project. I keep things busy and I figure that I might as well not be in too big a hurry. If you are in a hurry though, wait till college....I noticed that for some damn reason, EVERY one of my friends who lives in dorms has a girlfriend that they got freshman year. Me I'd rather not pay the fucking $7000 per semester living costs and save some cash. Everyone tells me I'm young and shouldn't worry too.

My advice: get involved in school activities. Try to be more open. Adopt an apathetic attitude towards certain things. I had the courage to ask out the most popular girls in my school to prom, because I knew that even if I got shot down it wouldn't matter in the long run. Granted I did get shot down, but at least I tried. My point is that if you go around not caring about stupid shit and not getting caught up in the high school emo fest, you'll be better off and most likely viewed as more mature. And it won't hurt at all to go to the gym and lift, it will build up some muscle and change some of that weight into more useful stuff.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-26 10:36 ID:XpSyziBI

>>8 True. If I would have a crush on girl, I would just go to her and tell her about it.>>1 I don't worry about being rejected. Don't be so serious about it. Come on 95 Kg is ok when you'll turn the fat into muscles :P. One of my friends has 130Kg and he's got a 16 years old girlfriend. He loves young girls so when one gets too old he picks another one ;).

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-26 12:53 ID:Heaven

>It doesn't matter if you're the nicest guy-

Er, it sounds to me like you're a jerk. I'm a girl and I already can't stand you just from the way you talk about yourself. "Minor" sexual slurs to a girl you don't even know? Saying you're "too smart"? You keep blabbing about how the only reason girls don't like you is because of your looks, well first off, it's pretty obvious that is the last problem here. And there is no way EVERY girl at your school is a beauty queen princess. I'm sure the overweight girls at your school have all the same excuses you do, so why don't you go talk to one of them? You yourself said it didn't have to be a sexual relationship, so that shouldn't be important to you, right? Or were you just trying to make yourself out to be a saint?

11 Name: yokken : 2006-01-26 13:05 ID:Heaven

>>10 Wow.

Number one, the sexual slur was something about 69, and I DO know her- we talk all the time in class. I hardly consider a joke about 69 an offense to anyone. And with the sexual relationship- it doesn't make a difference to me. I want to wait anyway. Number two, the "too smart" thing was that I do nothing but school and computers. Everyone at school who knows who I am knows that I'm an expert with computers. I'm in every single Honors class I could take this year, so what does that make me? I don't know, fortunate?

And also, about the overweight girls- there's only a few at my school. One of them sounds like a man and weighs more than me. I don't know about you, or anybody else, but I'm not gonna walk up to her and say hi. Because I DO have a reputation, regardless of my nerdiness.

>>10, you're exactly the kind of girl I'm talking about. I know I'm an ass, but you don't need to point it out. I'm relatively nice to the opposite sex- so what do I get in return? People like you. I try to express my feelings and get it all off my chest, and you come in here and start telling me how I'm a jerk and using sexual slurs and shit. I don't care how old you are- you don't have the right to be an ass to an ass. I would never try to make myself look like a saint, or I'd already HAVE a girlfriend.

And for the record, I am lifting weights.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-26 15:52 ID:Heaven

Yeah, >>11 is pretty much an ass.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-26 19:38 ID:Qyvlqe1C

>>11 Change your attitude or stay as a lonely fat ass forever.
PS. I'm a guy.

14 Name: Sakurina : 2006-01-26 21:06 ID:Heaven

4-ch has spoken.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-26 21:56 ID:hkcOLic/

yokken, I sympathize with you, I was once like you, but if you went to my school I would kick you ass for being a little bitch. first of all no matter how small a sexual slur is, its still a sexual slur and is very ungentlemanlike to say it to a girl. also how can you scare girls if you reciting torture techniques from a book, unless you forgot to mention "well in this book i read..." then i can understand how people may perceive you as a sadist. So you got cutoff from the a group of girls, boo hoo, get back on the horse and try keep trying. hey, its high school people forget in 3 weeks. The problem is that you are creating excuse for why you are alone. the problem is that you don't try to ask girls out. its a numbers game, the more girls you ask out, the more chance you have of getting a date, more dates more chances for a girlfriend. to answer you orginal question, no, you are not stupid, taking honors classes is not an easy thing to do, but you are a fool to think girls will throw themselves at you. sorry that only happens if you a rock star or a movie star. other than that you have to go out and be the man and ask them out. so get out there and ask them out. if you need help on how to ask a girl out, hey this what we are here for.

16 Name: Sakurina : 2006-01-26 22:29 ID:Heaven

Trust me, I've seen relationships at 14/15 fail miserably. Your vision of a perfect girlfriend, that is, this:

>I want a girl who honestly cares about how I feel, how my day was.

It doesn't exist at this age, or what I should say is, that it's very VERY rare. All the couples I know don't do anything but kiss and hug each other, close to no talking. I don't think that's how couples should be, and I share your vision of the perfect girlfriend.

Also, sexual slurs never got me anywhere. Don't go out there and make a fool of yourself like I did a year ago. It just isn't worth it. Life isn't a porno. If you tell a girl naughty things, she won't automatically suck your cock.

Act kindly and treat women with respect. Since after all, without women, we wouldn't be here. Once you treat them with respect, build up courage and ask some out. Hopefully that'll work.

(I am aware that I'm not as old as you are, but I've gone through things before and I know from experience.)

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-26 22:55 ID:EITEE95u

>>10

You sound pretty angry. Period?

18 Name: Sakurina : 2006-01-26 23:34 ID:Heaven

Actually, I'm a guy and I know yokken personally, yet I still manage to agree with >>10. The impression he gives in this thread isn't the same as he gives me on AIM.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-27 00:25 ID:6QPTL9sB

>>18
you the ex-online-girlfriend?

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-27 01:12 ID:LTYXORaM

>>19 ekhm... he said he's a GUY.

21 Name: Sakurina : 2006-01-27 01:25 ID:Heaven

>>19, as >>20-san said, read the 2nd to 4th words.

>I'm a guy

THANKS FOR READING.

22 Name: B bro : 2006-01-27 04:40 ID:QAz7I6Zf

agrees with sakurina

stop making excuses and try to deal with the situation.work on getting a girl.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-27 08:00 ID:WCjknuSq

if densha could do it. so can you!

24 Name: billy_uno : 2006-01-27 08:51 ID:7T4EZvop

Uh, right. Densha. Sure.

>>11, Let me tell you a story. Every girl that I've ever gone out with that has been attractive, has screwed with m one way or another. Pretty girls will do that. The more attractive they are, by and large, the worse off you'll be, 95 times out of 100. They're not worth your time.

Forget what TV and Movies will tell you. Forget what happened to Densha Otoko. (Sorry guys, I loved it too, but let's be realistic.) If you WANT to find a girlfriend who cares about you, find one who is LIKE you. Equal to you, merit for merit, flaw for flaw. The merits and flaws don't have to be the same thing, but keep in mind, you are a FLAWED PERSON. We all are. If you remember that, and you're willing to accept a person who is flawed you'll do better. Hey, any girl, pretty or not, is flawed in some way. If she's pretty, then she'll have some kind of personality flaw. Maybe she's a total bitch. Maybe she's dumb as a box of rocks. But she has a chink in her armor somewhere, so you shouldn't be afraid. You shouldn't exploit it either, but she's just as worried about what you'll think about her flaw, as you are. She just hides it better, or she doesn't think you know.

Keep that in mind, and you'll have a lot more confidence when you're talking to a girl. But for goodness sake, try to find one who's just as flawed, if not more flawed than you are. She's less likely to leave you that way. And if you treat her right, and care about her despite those flaws, then she'll care about you.

25 Name: B bro : 2006-01-27 12:06 ID:vB5Rp6gv

you sure sound experienced billy_uno, and your points are very true. expecially on the Densha Otoko issue.

thx for sharing it with us

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-27 15:20 ID:Heaven

What's with all the stupid names in this thread? Let's go back to being anonymous, people!

27 Name: peip : 2006-01-27 16:48 ID:DBi+Etyp

if you want someone to care for you, START CARING FOR OTHERS FIRST. Don't just wish, go out and do it.

Learn to talk too. And learn most importantly to listen to them:

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-27 17:37 ID:WCjknuSq

I agree with peip. and I do prefer "anonymous" to these names

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-01-31 05:08 ID:AZo1foKR

Do not wallow in self-pity, it is ugly. If you keep it up, nothing is going to change. Being miserable and doing nothing, only brings more nothing. If you want a girlfriend, do something about it. Make an effort to find someone, even if it is only little things like smiling a little more or making eye contact when speaking with women. These little things can sometimes have a big impact on how people see you.

30 Name: slightly misogynist : 2006-02-02 14:38 ID:Er5G27h/

Hey >>1

Don't worry; when you get to be 30-40, love is destined. All those pretty girls who would never give you the time of day will come crawling back when they need a successful man to provide for them. Just try to find one that isn't such a whore, k?

Highschool is all about a popularity contest for girls, mainly. You gotta me popular in some way for them to consider you, usually. Fickle creatures ;)

That being said, I do know some nice girls in highschool. Look for the ones that aren't obsessed with being in the popular clique and will express their oppinion as well as those that aren't afraid to try new things. They'll be the ones you seek, >>1

Also, I wish Sakurina wouldn't be a "tripfag"~ I can't dispel the pre-rendered interpretations (or whatever you'll call them) about him. Namely [1] that he's a girl and [2] that he's only 14 or something. People are ~judging you~! I cannot take you seriously.

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-03 01:13 ID:9n6CKYfA

>>24

Funny, most of the very attractive people I hang with are constantly used, and somewhat paranoid or oblivious because of it. Either they've noticed how many people just hang out with them because they want to get in their pants, and trust noone, or they take that behavior for the norm.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-03 01:18 ID:9n6CKYfA

>>1

Oh noes, you got kicked in the shins. Move on.

You might be lucky, and run across someone who has a fetish for pulling guys out of their shell, but barring that, you're going to have to draw attention to yourself. Fix yourself up, look more girls in the eye. Say hi every once in a while, before mentioning potential sexcapades. Figure out whether or not the girl is someone with whom you should bluntly bring up sexual activities with.

You claim you want a serious relationship. If your really are seeking a serious relationship, you should already be doing all of these things.

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-03 04:02 ID:Heaven

I find this thread kinda sad because >>1 could fix himself up. However, I've been trying to fix myself up (pretty good job so far too), the biggest obstacle has been acne. orz. I'd be considered quite handsome without it. I've tried everything! Damned teenage years. At least I can always hope for a solution, and be thankful that it isn't as bad as other people. Some people have it crazy bad!

So >>1, go weight-lift, do some kind of weight loss program, and be more receptive to new ideas! No one is perfect, we all have our flaws, but fix the ones you can if you really care about it. If you fix the ones you can, then the flaws you can't fix may seem a little less bad!

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-03 05:42 ID:9n6CKYfA

>>33

Seriously, what have you tried, because there are some over the counter things which I've found effective. I was mostly too lazy to stick with them.

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-03 11:20 ID:+wgC6VAX

>>33
my mother ended up sending me to the doctor for my acne, cause she didnt want me to end up looking like my father (lol).

he prescribed me some stuff called roaccutane (sp?)... strongest medicine ive ever been on lol, but it sure fixed my problem ;)

36 Name: 33 : 2006-02-05 06:36 ID:Heaven

Proactive Solution being the most recent, pretty expensive for stuff that doesn't last too long, but really no effect >.<
A bunch of other things, doctor prescribed things that had little effect...
I always wondered if I was screwing something up or something like that.. Like too stupid to apply medication correctly? sigh, lol
So I guess I'm going to a dermatologist soon... if this doesn't fix things up, I must be cursed ;;
In any case, this has been a thread derailment

37 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-10 08:30 ID:8R4V8q7t

>>1

Go run your fat, sorry ass around the block a couple of times, get over yourself, and quit whining about being single. Pissing and moaning will not get you a girlfriend. Why don't you join the marines or the peace corps or something...that will totally get you laid.

38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-10 12:15 ID:CKm2LCVB

>>37

And loads of std's.

39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-13 22:25 ID:Heaven

>>38
win-win

40 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-02-26 11:48 ID:uE+6Narr

hi i'm new to this thread, I'm 16 years old = years being single. I currently have a japnese friend (girl) who i talk to using SKYPE. we have talked for 6 hours once which was the first time for me to talk to a girl that long ~"~ I have sent her a christmas gift and she liked it alot.... the problem is here ~"~ I start to like this girl now and the problem is i live in australia and i'm so far awaay ~"~ i am thinking of confessing to her next time we talked but i havn't heard from her for 3 weeks now >"< can someone please give me some advise?? I'm afraid i will get rejected if i say it >"<

41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-26 14:08 ID:HKkJbJqy

>>40
Long distance relationships are hard, esp if you have never even seen each other.
How long have you been in touch with her?
Have you talked to each other often?
The 3 weeks is kind of troubling though.

42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-27 03:55 ID:bAHvGHT0

>>40

once you do confess to her whats gonna happen next. When do u plan to meet her?
Confessing is somthing done in real life not on the phone, perhaps you should consider going to Japan, if u realy like her that much.

43 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-02-27 04:03 ID:g3rd3+A3

Well..just be careful.. Hopefully, the situation wont turn out like what happeend to the other guy who went to Japan for a week to visit a girl he liked and got turned down.

44 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-27 04:13 ID:Heaven

~"~ what is all this stuff >>40?

45 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-02-27 06:26 ID:uE+6Narr

thanks for the advise! i had a think about it again and thought maybe its better just to remain good friends otherwise if i get rejected maybe we wont even be friends. well we use to talk alot and seem to be intrested in the same things, i was thinking of visiting her in japan during the holidays but that seems to be impossible. its really weird cos she usualy replies my email in 2-3 days and latley i just keep waiting for 2- 3 weeks now...oh well i think i will just remain friends haha xD

46 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-27 08:55 ID:bAHvGHT0

maybe she has been busy lately, or have u increased the frequency of the emails? But i think you staying friends with her is a good decision, instead of just confessing.

47 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-02-27 09:02 ID:uE+6Narr

i think she has been busy because i only sent 1 email. yeah i though that was a better idea as well

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