I am in college, and in my math class, I met this guy. He's not handsome or anything, but because I suck at math, so he invited me to his dorm room to do homework and study for a quiz together. In the beginning it was normal, just doing homework and me asking him questions, etc. Then he started asking me questions such as do I have a boyfriend, have I ever kissed and then later he invited me to dance... then he started touching me. I stopped him from advancing, but... he is just using me, right? I think he has no interets in me, but just my body?
Can any of you help me out?
it's hard to say. he DID try to get you on a first "date". There are those that say love is just friendship + sexual attraction. It DOES seem like he's rushing to the sex part a bit quick and haven't done much in the friendship department. so my vote would be yes.
> There are those that say love is just friendship + sexual attraction
They're idiots. And wrong.
>>I think he has no internets in me
fixed?
most men really want to just use women, but know that since it isnt that easy, add some feelings to the mix.
thats the cynical view, but it may be true.
In my opinion thats enough of details. It was just an idiot who thought that he may be lucky. Probably asked if you have a bf cuz he did not wanted his ass to be kicked. Everything was ok till the moment he touched you. Don't talk with this guy again. He is just a sex obsessed teenager who think that relationship between man and woman is like in the porn movie.
If you're not an "easy" girl, just don't let such idiots to get too close to you.
>>6 It should also not be forgotten that women often use men and are much more decietful about it.
It does not sound like he is using you exactly, but more that he has interest you. He is only using you if he is being underhanded.
>>9 is right. girls are more likely to "use" a guy. guys will just want sex but I can't think of as many situations where a guy will use a girl for something other than sex. but it becomes pretty obvious and it's hardly underhanded compared to what girls will do.
You sound like some lame ota that cannot deal with women. That guy did something that is called "sexual harrasment". There is no excuse for it.
Whenever a guy invites you to his room, it always means he wants sex. That's a law.
> In the beginning it was normal, just doing homework and me asking him questions, etc. Then he started asking me questions such as do I have a boyfriend, have I ever kissed and then later he invited me to dance... then he started touching me.
This happened over the course of how many hours/days/weeks/months/years?
If it was hours, leave him. Now.
If it was more days/weeks I would probably says he's rushing it.
Months/years however...
Men are all sex obsessed pigs.
How much you wanna bet that in 2-3 days we hear the other side of the story from >>1? He sounds like a fellah suited for this board.
>>17
then all women are nymphomaniacs
Damn... if only. :-D
Well, when i went into the room, music was playing. And then halfway through when we were doing homework, he asked if i knew how to dance. I said no, because I really don't. I'm awful at it. Then later he said, "how about I teach you to dance?" But what he taught me was grinding. You know, as in the bump and grind that you see in nightclub? Well I could feel his hardon, and I mean, I was really in shock. Then he started touching my area down there. I knew I should have stopped him, but I was just too in shock for it. Then I guess he took that I didn't say anything, he continued. And then he touched my breasts too.
The thing you must remember, is that as a girl... no, as a human being, it's your right to say "No" at any given time.
If he so much as breathes on you in a way you don't like, you have the right to say no, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
A female friend of mine was raped because she was just too afraid to say no or even scream. She couldn't get over the shock, and just cried horribly afterwards. Please don't let that happen to you. Just remember that it's perfectly fine to say no whenever you like.
>>22
Er yeah.. He is nasty. I have had guys who I thought were friends just try to "snuggle" with me all of a sudden without saying anything first, and that was weird enough.
But I hope you will let him know right out that you are not interested, because that is the only way it will end. If you pretend like nothing happened, he will try again. You don't have to tell him directly if you don't want to, just leave him a note or something if that's easier.
or kick him in the nuts, that would get the message across.
On the one hand, the guy was a bit too hasty. But on the other, the sexual harrassment stuff can get out of hand. How can any guy ever make the first move? And you didn't tell him to stop or anything right, so what did you do exactly? And I think you said you did in fact stop him eventually, and he didn't keep forcing himself on you. That "freezing up" stuff is dangerous, because it can be used as a cop out.
>>24 is right, say no. But don't be one of those horribly stupid people who get turned on by saying "No" when they really mean "Yes". For some thats a fetish, albeit an extremely dangerous one since most women can fake it pretty well and the guy has to be careful that shes not serious.
I was telling from the very beggining - it was sexual harrasment. >>26 Is right.
its called indecent assault.
It seems rather harsh to be going for sexual harrasment or assault. Yes, I would not suggest being alone in his room again and if you don't want to, don't talk to him. However, grinding is pretty commonplace and he might not have known you were not comfertable with it. Saying he touched you 'down there' isn't exactly very descriptive. That could mean anything from he put his hands on your hips to stuck his hands down your panties and fingered you (and if that is the case, he did assault you)! Just make it clear that you were not ok with what he did, and if it was egegreious I'm sure you can figure out who to contact.
>>24
if she went along with it, she wasn't raped.
But she shouldn't wait till she'll be raped ><.
So, you did not tell him "no" and you went to his room alone? It is not like he can read your mind and know what you are okay and not okay with. You should just forget about him and not be so naive next time.
It is bad to go along with something, feel bad about it later, then say that someone assualted you to make yourself feel better about it.
Number 31 is so right unghhh
and girls complain about a lack of boyfriends.
how exactly are guys supposed to make the first move again O_o
btw.. "grinding" does not equal "sexual assault".. read post 31 before you start your holy crusade against the male gender
Apparently he didn't rape her, and he didn't take it any further than the original poster's vague statements said it went. There's this thing called "making the first move." Obviously someone has to, or else no one will ever hook up. So every time the guy tries to make a move, that's supposed to be sexual harrassment? That's bullshit.
>>39
making the first move doesnt imply you have to touch a woman in inappropiate places, unless the girl is a slut, but >>1 doesnt sound like one. making the first move is usually "what are you doing friday night?" or "who are you going to the dance with?" not grabbing a girls ass, or rubbing your piece all up against her, even if it is packed behind a layer of khaki.
Are you dumb or something? How can you call it first move? When I'm doing first move I'm trying to talk with girl, hold her hand etc. NOT GRABING HER BREASTS!! You guys really sound like a dateless loosers ><. You have no fuckin idea bout the girls ><.
Chicks like it like that.
>>42 And thats the reason why the only girl to satisfy your sexual needs was called right hand?
Nah man just gotta be a little forceful with them.
yeah if you want to be slapped with a law suit.
>>41,43 win.
'Nuff fucking said.
>>41
And that's why they're called 'doku otoko'...
Translate please?
doku otoko: single/poisonous (eg. slimy, no-good ,or what have you) guys
single: 独 どく
poison: 毒 どく