I'm in love with this amazing girl. We've been together for a while now, and the longer this relationship goes on the more upset she becomes with me for refusing to talk about my past and growing up. I don't want to alienate her by continueing to ignore the past, but I don't think I could stand it if I told her and she looked at me with disgust or worse pity.
I did what I had to in order to survive. I'm not proud of any of it, but it made me stronger. I made me who I am, I have a full time job, and I'm working on a degree, and I can support the friends who care for me. Does it really matter so much what I did before?
well sooner or later you will have to tell what you had to do. but it matters what you are now and how you changed, make sure you tell her that.
Otherwise you should not tell her, because
2. you don't need to tell her.
3. I think you are weak, need a forgiveness.
4. You are thus using her to forgive you instead of God.
5. You are not worth to be forgiveness.
>>3 is catholic, and I claim my 5 pounds
She wants to know more about you, it is ultimately going to come up at some point. Or you could say you are not comfertable talking about it and she should respect that.
I really don't understand WHY God has anything to do with this subject... I'm way sick of reading such statements.
I think you should tell her. It will easy your mind, it will look like you've released 10Tons of weight over your shoulders. And I bet, that if she really loves you, she will understand that it a thing from the past, and will like you even more because you have been honest and trust her.
Just my 2 cents.
>>3
If there was a question of any type of health concern, I wouldn't have started dating her. Physically I'm clean and healthy. I am damn lucky and I know it.
As you the rest, it was the church that handed me over to a pedophile. They are the ones who needs forgiveness from their god. Not me.
>>Whore Junkie Thief Liar<<, In my love relation that started 5 years ago, I tell her everything that's on my mind. Really, no matter if It's something bad. I've built my relation over trust, and I think that's the best way. I believe that you should be honest to your partner. I bet she will understand and admire you even more for your honesty.
PS: Sorry for my terrible English. It's not my native language.
>>1
Does not who you are right now matter? Yes it does. Who you are now is who she met and fell in love with.
But why do people usually want to know about people's past? Because they want to take part of their partner's life more. To know the person better. If you don't tell her about it, chances are she's going to perceive it as you shutting her out of a big chunk of your life. She may wonder what's wrong with her according to you, since apparently not worthy of knowing this </worstcase scenario>. It may make her feel insecure, and feel as if you don't want her to be a real part of your life, since you withhold a piece of yourself, even if it's one you don't like in your past.
Yeah, it sucks ass, but sadly chances are that things will turn out a lot worse if you don't tell her than if you do.
People often see it as a lack of trust in them, rather than it being a bad memory, if you avoid telling them things. And technically, it is that way. You don't trust her to not get distgusted or pity you. You shouldn't tell her about it out of the blue. Discuss your fears with her before you tell her what happened. And it's probably a good idea to explain the circumstances of your past situation while telling her of it, so that she'll gain a greater understanding.
sorry for the incoherent ramblings, i need sleep.
tell her
tell her
if she leaves, let her
then keep doing the same
til you find the right one who stays
indeed. dark secrets in the past does seem kinda not good :(
Think of it this way , do you want her to know it from you , or do you want her to find out herself.
is >>1 James Frey or what? Totally.
>>1
If you have the gay pox, tell her. If not, don't -- let her think that you're phenomenal in the sack due to, uh, practice. Rather than professionalism.
"4. You are thus using her to forgive you instead of God."
What a tool.
>>15
THE LAST POST BEFORE YOURS WAS FROM 2 MONTHS AGO AND NO ONE HAS POSTED A THING SINCE! THIS TOPIC"S DEAD!
>>15
THE LAST POST BEFORE YOURS WAS FROM 2 MONTHS AGO AND NO ONE HAS POSTED A THING SINCE! THIS TOPIC"S DEAD!
Spamming bitch..