As those who've read my posts here might know, I'm currently trying to go for this girl at my work. I have gotten pretty good encouragements from pplz here telling me to go for it. But recently, I tried to sms the girl. She did tell me before that her mother is using her phone atm, and she's on prepaid and I'm on plan, but so far, none of my sms were replied. Considering all these so far, is it a bad sign?
perhaps it's not the case with this girl, but i have to say that i've used this excuse before.
I try to tell myself that. But because she didnt reply I sms her around 3 times (with a few hours in between... I think). And her msn was on Idle so I send her a message and send some more, went off came back and sent some more but no one replied. She might or might not have read my messages. I did sms telling her her msn is still on, and a few hours later it went offline but still no reply. Did I weird her out? I really hope I didnt.
i think that you may have. I have been involved in a situation like this before and it is worrying when you get sent many messages in a day or two
>>3
you're doing it wrong
Send her a message once and wait a few days for a reply, if she doesn't reply, send another one. By the way, stick to one thread.
Tomorrow I'll see her at work. I'll see how it goes.
Agreed with >>6, you shouldn't be SMS-ing or msging her so often in a day...just from reading your original post, makes you sound desperate and needy.
>>8
Well, he is. I think he should give up. And above all he should stop posting here or, if he must keep posting, he shouldn't make 5 threads about the same shit he is failing at.
Word, the fact that you are posting so much shit means you are nervous/scared/insure. She will see it and you won't have much luck. Just calm down.
What everyone else is trying to say (I hope) is learn self-restraint and patience. Seriously, if you continue to pursue it the way you are, then you might end up scaring her and pushing her away.
When we all mentioned for you to make time to see her and spend time with her, we didn't say "pursue like a dog chasing the mailman's truck", just take your time. If she isn't replying, she must have a reason...and you need to face the truth that one of those reasons may be because it is you who is texting/msging.
Anyways, be patient...she can't just cut you off (unless, of course, she is some ice-queen), so she'll get back to you eventually.
Well, I actually am nervous, scared and unsure. But that doesnt matter now. I screwed it ... again... makes me wonder abt the value of me as a person. Thing is, today she was supposed to work and I was asked to take over someone else's day today. She worked last night, she must have seen the roster for this week coz she skipped today's. And ID:heaven, I only posted in different threads coz what I was wanting to talk abt was different from the subject in the thread title. And perhaps I'm desperate, I mean, I tried at least 8 times (I guess "so what?" would be everyone's reply), and each time I tried a different approach (in my opinion) but none works. Kinda makes me afraid being single is what I will be for life... Do one need a complete personality overhaul in a situation like mine? Or can I still be true to myself and still get a girl?
Well, if you're nervous, scared and unsure...can't help ya there. Something you need to figure out yourself.
Suggest trying to find something else to occupy your time (if you aren't already), coz if you are focusing your thoughts and daily routine on a girl...that "KINDA" makes you obsessive, no offense.
...AND you are over thinking on the work-shift thing. Honestly, how can you KNOW she would skip a day coz she SAW the work schedule and knew you would be working? Come on...and even if she did, doesn't that tell you something in itself?
Personality Overhaul: Not so much a change of your personality more than a change in how you do or approach things. At the same time, the way you mentally are can always be something to work on. I.e. stop thinking negatively, over-thinking situations, be more positive and confident.
...and post whatever you want in whatever thread you create. Ignore those who complain, they just do it to piss people off.
thanks for that holdincourt, maybe better luck next girl
over-thinking, damn me and my obsession with trying to see hidden meanings
By the way; "ID:Heaven" is not a specific poster, it is simply the ID given to a sage'd post (a post where the poster has chosen to not bump the thread)
Well, it's how I can tell you apart from the other anonymous pplz
wait, D.Otoko-no-ko, how have you screwed things with this girl up?
>>16
Don't bother. He's too stupid.
Well holdincourt, I'm not 100% sure but I'm being ignored by the girl. Possibly coz I might have weird her out or something... But I still gonna make sure on Thursday since she did not cross it out... haha, even one of the chef at work was trying to get me and the girl together... I dont seem to stand a chance. I did try to call her last night to see if she want to do something today but since there's no reply, it more or less confirm my suspicions. Stupid perhaps but I've been at this for since junior high and each time I dont get a reply it ususally mean I've been blown away.
and to be specific about how I screwed up, holdincourt. All I did was just 1) she phoned me to tell our bosslady she can't make it to work coz she's ill so I sms her after work asking if she's better. 2) I thought she might be just pulling a sickie to get off work so I asked if she wanna do anything on Saturday since she's free. 3) I didnt receive a reply so when I came home I saw her MSN was on. Even though status said idle, I msn her asking if she received my email. No reply and it seems that it was accessed not from her usual msn. So I msn her some more asking if there is any1 in front of the comp. I msn her again after I came back from hanging out with my friend, no reply. 4) Next morning, her MSN was still on so I send another message to see if she's there. No reply. 5) So I sms her again saying her MSN is still on. After a while her MSN went offline. 5) As I pointed out b4, I'm not sure but the girl may have seen that I'm rostered on Monday along with her, and may have cancelled the work that day bcoz of that. I checked the cards from last sunday, it might not have been busy because she finished around 10:30pm so her cancelling work couldnt have been bcoz she was dead tired or something...
but then again, you (holdincourt) did say I over analysis the situatin...
Did it ever occur to you that she may just be busy? I mean, her mom is in town and she could spending time with her, or its just a busy time for her. Maybe thats why she changed her schedule too, to accommodate for something else. You can still save this, just lay back for about a week. Don't feel pressured you have to talk to her every day, even though there is that other guy, you two work at the same place and will eventually run into each other. So for now, calm down, or else things are going to get from bad to worse. Just hold off from calling her and talk to her in person.
Next time you see her, gauge her response, and DON'T THINK/FEEL NEGATIVE. From an objective stand point see if she is trying to avoid you: is she avoid eye contact, less talktive than usual, etc. And if you feel that there is something wrong, like she is purposely ignoring you, when you have a break or after work, ask her whats wrong. She will either just not say anything and just ignore, if she does, they you lose. Hopefully she will say 'nothing' (the word, not silence). If she does, ask her again, she will probably say 'nothing' again. Ask her up to 3 times, and even use your friendship as reason for her to talk to you. This is tip-toeing on the 'friendzone' but you can repair it by offering her a night on the town to cheer her up, after she explains her problem, which shouldn't be related to you.
If it is you, try to explain yourself, be honest, but don't tell her you love her, thats relationship suicide. Just say 'you are an awesome person to be with...when I see you my day seems better...the reason why I tried to contact you some many times is because I wanted to know if it was you are just coincidence or really you...' I really don't know, because I never want to be put into that situation. But it shouldn't come down to that.
By the way you have a msn? I feel like I am always too late with advice.
yeah, I have msn, didnt I post that on the MSN thread in General section?
in case it's lost, it's Darth_Darimus@hotmail.com
dude... you sent requests for a date by email at several times? I dunno about her, but I hate spam.
eh? I never said I sent requests for a date by email several times? What r u on abt?
ok. sorry. msn and sms spamming then
oh, if it's that, I wasnt requesting a date via msn or sms. 1) SMS: just asked if she is ok since she said she was not feeling well so she didnt go to work and also because her msn was on overnite when usually she logs off. 2) MSN: I only asked if she was online, when 1st no reply I said my ttyl and went out. Came home, still online so again see how she was doing when no reply I just asked twice if there is actually some1 on the other side. Next morning her msn was still on which i find strange so msn her again... even so I would hardly call it spamming. A bit too much in a day or two but it's not like I constantly bombarded her with messages.
Today I happen to see the girl on my way to the bus station from work. She was all dressed up and she was with a white guy, who was not so dressed up. I was practically right next to her as she came towards my direction but she either didnt see me as she walked past me or she was ignoring me on purpose. As she walked closer I looked at her hoping she would say hi or something but I swear I saw her eyes looked to another direction... I dont know if I'm just paranoid or what, perhaps I will get confirmation with her behaviour tomorrow at work.... sigh
dunno, Desp.Otoko. Sounds like she is being a ***** and just ignoring you on purpose. You might have to prepare yourself to move on...
Speaking of moving on, a friend once commented that each time I tried to hit on a girl and got blown, a few weeks after I have another 'target'. My friend's point was that I seem to never commit to anything, is that a fair perception though? I mean, I can't stay pining for a girl forever (I did once, almost throughout my highschool years).
Anyways, the only non-negative side I could come up with was that perhaps that girl was not the girl I'm going for but her sister. The girl I'm trying to go out with did say pplz keep saying she resemble her older sister.
Please tell me you're not really asking a girl out through either sms or msn.
You friend is right, and there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. No point on staying on a girl if you know you are going no where. The best thing for you is to move on.
>>33 When I ask the girl out the 1st time (read the thread "How soon is too soon") I did use sms to ask her out to lunch and she came on MSN to confirm it. Yes yes I know abt the 'class system', a friend already told me abt it: in person face2face is 1st class, on phone is 2nd class, msn is 3rd class and sms is 4th class.
We were just work friends then (still are, or not), so there really is nothing wrong with asking through sms is there?
Nothing wrong if you want to get rejected. Its best to ask in person, if not the phone. Nothing beyond that.
Well, at that situation then, I couldnt have ask her in person.