A little help for a girl like me. (42)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-03 20:02 ID:HoY9/ijc

I'm currently in a relationship with a older guy (about a 6 year difference) and we're both new to the relationship pool. He used to "date" someone else, but they broke up because he didn't get along with her parents and they didn't get very far.
Anyway, I'm posting because I really need some advice on what I should do next after these events. Should I break up with him? Or try to talk to him again (after sending emails and phone calls which he never has a responce but "I'm sorry" but continues to do these things)?

-He frequently passes off topics of conversation that I enjoy as things he doesn't care about. I like to talk about movies, TV shows, music, languages, image macros/memes, food, anime and animals. He only likes to talk about macros, video games, and politics. He has shouted at me "I don't care" when I bring up something I enjoy. I wish he'd be a bit more open, but he refuses to hear anything about seeing outside his world.
-We were both virgins (we've done some things), but he doesn't want to have actual intercourse with me because I'm not a "woman of experience". Most of our intimate time together is pleasurable, but awkward. He has a habit of staring at me when he's doing something to me and sticks with one thing at a time (ex: he sucks my nipples, but does nothing else [not even caressing or paying attention to the other breast])
-He makes me feel really terrible about myself most of the time. He's stated that I smell and taste terribly (note: He has never eaten me out, but he has tasted my skin [most of which he tasted has been contained in clothes this hot summer]) many times, and refuses to stop even after I told him how it makes me feel. I'm a very clean person, by the way, so it's not like I hang out with him after I haven't taken a shower in a while. But he makes me feel like I'm particuarly disgusting, especially after an incident where he wanted me to shave off my arm hair (which I refused to do). I shaved off a good portion of body hair for him, once, but now I don't see the point in it after his constant disatisfaction with my body. Along with that, he squeezes body parts and honks IN PUBLIC, which really pisses me off (I've told him that, as well). Also, during our first time "together", he didn't like how wet I happened to be and found it "gross".
-On that note, because of the age gap, he makes me feel terribly stupid most of the time, and occasionally mocks me when I don't know something (and not in a joking way) or do something silly (and it goes on for a very long time with a small incident).
I've gotten rather tired of his behaviour and wish he would be more mature and treat me as his girlfriend (what he says he references me as) and not a glorified doll who will say and do whatever he wants. I don't know where else to go, as I haven't told many people about the relationship and would rather not have to tell them all of this.
Thanks in advance.

2 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-07-03 20:23 ID:f9Szmy8A

Give the relationship a break. He's in a 'rebound' stage. He is not paying attention to you because his other relationship is still recent in his mind, or he's just not needy enough. Let him miss you and value you a bit more (actually, a LOT more).

I like to say that love is like economics. There's supply and demand. If you lower supply, the demand will rise, and price will rise. That means he will PAY more attention to you. Let him know what you want (your price), and be cool (or cold) until you can switch the price up the way you deserve. Or you could give me your picture and phone number and I can show you how a real date should be. ;)

3 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-07-03 20:26 ID:f9Szmy8A

By taking a break I mean about a month of treating each other like acquaintances, nothing close. Maybe even friends but that would be it.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-03 21:12 ID:Heaven

Give up the relationship, he doesn't appreciate you enough. Don't waste your time with guys that don't deserve you.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-03 21:40 ID:D0ZL66sk

>>1

the guy is an egocentric asshole, you should find someone else

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-03 21:42 ID:G//ho8Ps

Most people would agree that this guy is an asshole. Break up with him.

7 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-07-03 22:12 ID:Heaven

Well, yeah. I guess it would be better just to break up.
I wrote what I wrote since I thought maybe you'd want to be with this guy, or to give you time and strength to forget about him by your own means/decision and keep on with life. Also, begging guys boost up your ego, and maybe you could use some of that.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-03 22:32 ID:ndf7LWoZ

>>1

He sounds like a big wanker who doesn't appreciate what he got with you and thinks he can use you as a toy or crap on you every time he thinks he needs to feel superior to someone to satisfy his laughable ego.

Believe me, I've been such an asshole myself (although not as extreme as this you), and the only good thing you can do is to break up with him, being nice won't change him, either he gets a brain himself or someone really kicks his ass to make him realize how shitty his behaviour is. Some people never learn it, though.

Whatever you do, don't stay with him because of outside pressure or because you fear single life or because you hope he'll change himself one day. Do what's best for you, don't endure suffering just to make someone else feel better about himself.

9 Name: Polaris!iM7pnkmddc : 2006-07-03 22:40 ID:HoY9/ijc

OP here (came up with a name and tripcode). Thanks for the advice so far. I have had a few sweet times with him, but I honestly can't stay with him with that sort of attitude he gives me. He's nice on occasion, but these things are overwhelming.

Also, Mirielle guy, thanks, but no thanks. I'll try looking elsewhere and breaking up with him once he gets back into town (he went to AX for CLAMP, spending an insane ammount of money on autograph passes and plane tickets [which was also another thing: he's frivolous and gets pissy with me when he buys me something small!]).

But yeah, you all have helped with my decision. Thank you, Anonymouses(Anonymousi?)!

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-04 13:10 ID:+UTA4+wF

Like >>8 said, he's a wanker. Don't waste your youth on him. Your deserve better than to be used as a rebound. Dump him first, before he dumps you!

11 Name: secret admirer : 2006-07-04 15:17 ID:KOqGjNKU

maybe younger ones aren't seen as full. my darling is 8years older. I'm like nothing for him. we should both find better guys ne?

12 Name: frigid onanoko : 2006-07-04 16:29 ID:sfY6OqZ1

EEEHhhh! I don't get it!!! You only wrote about the uncool things he does... how to judge?? - why do you love him?

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-04 19:19 ID:l+Y7ibjB

>>1

"He makes me feel really terrible about myself most of the time."

leave him. now.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-04 23:37 ID:KQeQn+Rp

>>11

If he treats you like "nothing", then yes, you should leave him.

15 Name: Polaris!iM7pnkmddc : 2006-07-05 06:31 ID:w4CXtG7X

>>12
When we first met, I felt a bit bad for him. Then he charmed me, he offered to buy things for me and treated me insanely well and showered me with compliments. After two weeks, he changed. He started acting like an ass and I thought he was just going through something. But that wasn't it at all.
Also, I've heard reports from AX he's been trying to hit on other girls! Fucker!
In regard to myself, I'm not saying I am some Goddess Girlfriend. I'm clear and upfront, and he's just brushes me off with "No way, (insert shitty explanation here)!" I'm sick of his behavior toward me when I've never lied to him and I've told him so much about myself, while I barely know anything about him.

>>11
Yeah, we both need better guys. :)

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-05 12:51 ID:JevcHB5I

Dump him. NAO~

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-05 14:43 ID:Heaven

Talk about macros and memes? Christ you make me sad.

18 Name: Polaris!iM7pnkmddc : 2006-07-05 16:10 ID:px60JDsM

>>17
I do it amongst friends jokingly (we say stuff like "ZOMG FTW" and silly crap like that). He does it in all seriousness in EVERYDAY LIFE (and knows all of them and uses them at the worst times possible).

19 Name: Amarok : 2006-07-06 03:58 ID:o4m2iic2

Your boyfriend should NEVER make you feel bad about your self. EVER.
Trust me on this one and get out.
Let us know how it turns out.

20 Name: KIRA : 2006-07-06 17:33 ID:MYeHT5lY

Woah people hooked up at AX's? dunno, never tried to pick up girls there, scared of the ones with the paddles and stuff...

anyways, ya u sohuld get out of this relationship, its just going to hurt u more down the line. do u think u would like marry such a guy? if not, then better split before anything else bad happens. theres many more guys out there, and i think its easier for girls to get guys then guys to get girls, dunno why. =*(**

anyways, hope to hear how it turns out... hope u dont have like a stalker on your mitts because that would suck. -_-;;

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-06 23:33 ID:pqmj3GJZ

I think the message from this board is clear, dump the prick. If he treats you like that he's not worth your time, if I acted like that with a girl I'd expect to be dropped on the spot ( and most of my female friends would probably kick my ass as well).

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-07 08:10 ID:XqTH5hUr

I don't even see why you needed an opinion, it's so obvious you should dump him!

23 Name: アニメお宅 : 2006-07-08 05:21 ID:UIXw/FZz

a relationship is a two way interaction,
taek a deep breath, and listen to what your heart most desire and the fact..
there are other guy ;)

24 Name: Polaris!iM7pnkmddc : 2006-07-09 03:39 ID:vsLerKtp

OP here. So, today, I called him and he says "I don't think this isn't going to work out". I told him I thought the same. His reasons were because my mother doesn't think very highly of him anymore. I told him, flat out, he made me feel like shit.
All he said was "Oh."
...Rat.
Anyway, I told him we could still be friends (not really), but at this point, I don't think we'll speak to each other ever again. We'll probably bump into each other at a convention, maybe.
I'm going on to better things. Thanks a lot, you all.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-09 05:05 ID:u6C8l6/6

It's a relief to know there's one less woman stuck in a dead-end relationship with a jerk who treats her like dirt.

26 Name: Amarok : 2006-07-09 06:23 ID:boCMqT06

>>24
At least it was easily done. I'm glad you let him know he was being a jerk despite him breaking up with you anyway.
Hopefully he'll give what you said some thought.

27 Name: アニメお宅 : 2006-07-09 09:11 ID:FSTGc32w

congrats then >>24

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-10 23:56 ID:gSBsvv6N

brandy?

29 Name: holdincourt : 2006-07-11 07:02 ID:IzeysTG1

Well, to the OP, good for you...can now move on and forget this "Rat".

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-11 07:48 ID:jTfM2Jvg

>>24 Yes! great job for dumping that good-for-nothing. Congratulations!! You'll meet better guys in th future~

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-11 08:38 ID:0J/jJFz0

Good job.

Just be careful, he might try and be all "I'm sorry I've changed I'll be good to you~~". He might not, since I don't know him; but I've seen it happen, so... yeah. Tell him to GTFO. He had his chance and ruined it.

32 Name: frigid onanoko : 2006-07-11 22:40 ID:sfY6OqZ1

sorry, ms Polaris. Frigid Onanoko sorry for you.

Now you too late to dump him!! Ow... :-(
Anyway, is for the better now. Tell us if your life is better or worse now? maybe both ;)

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-14 23:31 ID:pOT5M4x6

>>24
im proud of you

34 Name: a drop in the ocean : 2006-07-16 11:18 ID:NZ0DXSsi

i couldnt be bothered reading the other comments...but someone like that doesnt deserve your feelings and with that said your body either. he clearly shows no respect.

but with that said, when you break up with him...if you do, i think it would be the safest to not get angry, because he seems like the type who would hit a woman... <-random but yeah...i just think best to do it when everything is cool...

35 Name: John Hash : 2006-07-26 14:11 ID:hF21DaKI

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36 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-07-26 18:23 ID:Heaven

Oh. Apparently the guy was a social inept. It's a mystery how some idiots can get girls, and some girls don't realize they're idiots (being occasionally nice does not absolve them from being idiots). Good for you that you realized that.

37 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-08-02 15:45 ID:iZRelP7U

good for you! =) Now you need to to move on and forget about that jerk and find a guy who's about your age and can relate to or be the complete opposite because love is a mystery. Sometimes the man/woman of your dreams or true love could be the opposite of what you are or the exact of what you are. It's best you find the guy who you feel you really love.

38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-09 13:40 ID:jwvpkZxh

dunno if this was mentioned (tl;dr)

but, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism

39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-20 21:53 ID:AixIjLw4

he's a fag

40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-10 04:44 ID:TVoIFm3O

reminds me off that black night faggot, except he is a baby fucker

41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-10 13:09 ID:Heaven

Nice bump.

42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-07 06:15 ID:p+Y4idIv

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