Troublesome relationships I suppose, several broken hearts. I won't go into details cause it's all lame emo crap I guess.

I discussed some things with my brother a few years ago and found out that he was molested by his scout master (who quit just prior to my joining the boy scouts). And I don't think I'm harboring any repressed abuse memories. I'm not gay even slightly, my friends can vouch for that pretty easy and I can say honestly I REALLY prefer women. I'm simply terrified of sex.

I'm not a bad looking guy (according to most girls I know) and I have many female friends, there's times I've counted more female friends then male ones, I get along with them pretty great. I had a girl come over to my place once and ask for sex, I turned her down and asked her to leave, she never came back and I thought that was best. I had a girlfriend ask if I wanted to sleep with her and I explained my reasons why I wouldn't and explained that should we marry our wedding night would be filled with a lot of playing cards. She eventually broke up with me but not for that reason, mostly to go to a college 1,000 miles away.

This doesn't mean I don't have sexual drive, I'm human like the rest of us. It's just I'm unable to even imagine actually going all the way with someone. I figure I'll die happily a virgin and don't honestly feel any loss.