>>2
Reminds me too much of my school days. I was 19 at the time. I noticed this girl (Maria) at once, and immediately I fell in love. She was so nice to me. At least, she couldn't have hated me. Not at first anyway. We would sit close together for hours and hours on end, listening to music, talking. Sometimes, we would take off our T-shirts, feeling the warmth from each other. We talked about everything and anything, and I opened up even the darkest nooks and crannies of my soul for her. Things I never dared to tell anyone, I told her. Once, she even did IT to me with her hands. It was so wonderful. The first time ever that a girl had actually given me that kind of attention. I felt I was in heaven.
But then - I became awere that she didn't LOVE me. I loved her, but she didn't love me. I would always seek her out, but she was in no hurry. It could take days before she came looking for me. Slowly, it made me sad and depressed and eventally I stopped seeing her. It broke my heart. I started to feel (even more) worthless.
All this made me totally blind regurading other girls. I just didn't percieve them as anything other than classmates. Later, I've learned that at least two other girls were interested in me, but I was blinded and immune to their signals!
Two years later we graduated, and we all left for our respective... well, whatever. I felt devastated. I missed Maria so much. I would run actually out where no one could hear me and shout her name out relly loud, as if it would somehow make her appear. I realized I was loosing my mind, and became aware that I was "intellectualizing" - playing mindgames with myself.
It took many years to get over Maria. Now, I'm married to a gorgeous woman and have two kids, a boy and a girl. I came across an envelope while rummaging though some old cardboard boxes a couple of weeks ago. The envelope was full of pictures of Maria. For a moment I got kind of disconnected from my senses. I looked at the pictures of Maria's familiar face. All her funny expressions, her "cutes" and smiles. For a split second I felt a warmth in my chest. I believe I smiled too, remembering the good things we had together.
It was so easy to tear up the pictures, one by one. Finally, I've got over Maria. Unrequitted love is a serious condition.