This is the ultimate law... Girls always whine about they want a nice guy who cares for them. But when it comes to choose their boyfriend they always fell for the jerk who treats them like shit. Why does it have to be like this? Why don't girls like nice guys? It's just not logical...
What do jerks have that nice guys don't? And why isn't niceness and calm personality appealing to girls?
I just don't get it... I'm romantic, calm, and nice to everybody. I can talk with girls, and can be friends with anybody... but nothing more. They tell me that I'm nice, cute and so, and they just don't get why can't I find somebody.
But it seems like girls don't see nice guys as a possible boyfriend...
What can a nice guy do?
yeh i see what you mean. i am planning to give her a call tonight.. one thing i was wondering.. i got in a car accident last tuesday, we hit a transport tractor. my whole life flashed upon my eyes. i dont have anyone in my life, like no parents or siblings, and only thought about her all that time i was in the hospital. should i be telling her all that or is that too creepy..
Well, I wouldn't be freaked out if I was the girl. In fact, I'd be worried sick! But think of it this way. If you do call her and tell her that you were thinking about her the whole time you were in the hospital, don't you think you're already confessing your love to her?
I know it's what you want, but think about it too.
(I'm not making any sense at all.)
Call her now!! Tell her everything..
>>36
Don't lay all that on her. You are putting her in a tough situation telling her you don't have anyone else, almost like you're forcing her to be with you. Wait until you get back on your feet and than try to talk with her.
It not forcing people. It just a phone call to express his feeling to her!!
Ok with me. It your choice.
This is how it is yo
You just gotta give it to her straight up, say listen, I'm crazy about you, we've known each other for a long time, I don't know if you're interested in me like that or not, but I've really missed you and feel like you're a big part of my life. Just let it come from the heart. If you read all these posts and shit and try to base all your decisions on like a million diff opinions its gonna make you more frustrated. Life's too short to live in fear of rejection all the damn time.
Don't come off all desperate and shit, just give it out plain vanilla, man. Ladies appreciate you being straight up with em.
Are you sure bout it?
>>42
Don't you think it would be nicer to ask her out?
But inviting her to your place is fine too. Clean up your place when she does come over.
i see.. well i am at work right now..lol.. i'll call her when i get home i think.. the only thing that scares me is if we start going out and then break up.. that will shatter me really bad.. thats what scares me.. especially because of the distance..
It's too early to think about that, don't you think?
You are afraid of her breaking up with you and you don't even have her as a girlfriend. Hey stupid, go some balls, ask her out and build a relationship and then worry about losing her.
lol.. cool.. my birthday is coming soon.. is there any action i should do for that
I think the answer is too obvious.
HINT: Birthday party.
HINT2: Invitations
HINT3: HER.
And how soon is soon? A 1-2 weeks, or a few months?
>>36 Saying something like "I have nobody" puts her in a really awkward situation, like when someone says "....my cat died." and they aren't quite sure what to say to try and cheer you up. I wouldn't bring it up if I were you, near death experiences aren't exactly fun to hear about.
>>54 Maybe, but we aren't trying to get him to feel all warm and fuzzy, we want her to be attracted by him. I just can't see "I almost died" being a turn on for most people.
Of course, I'm just imagining myself in that situation, and I'm no girl. So who knows.
yeh i see, well i think its kinda stupid to say that i almost died but it might not be a bad idea to tell her that i got in a crash and was literaly under the trailer. i dont think i should tell her about me being all by myself and stuff yet.. i will called her sunday, she was not home. i didnt try calling again because it was kinda too late. i will try calling tonight after work to see if i can get a hold of her.. should i say something like " i was planning to come over to (her town) and pay you a visit but i was in an accident and havent felt great since to be leaving my place for a long drive." do you guys think that would be okay or is that kinda stupid. and then we can talk about other stuff as well and tell her i got my new place and stuff like that.
i just read my last message and i wrote " I WILL CALLED HER SUNDAY". sorry i meant " I called her sunday "
i called last night.. her dad answered.. her parents know me pretty well.. they asked how i was and stuff. i didnt tell them about the accident. i didnt know if i should... she wasnt home again. she was at her friends studying for her test.. so told them to tell her i called to see how she was..
hey another thing i was wondering, she does not have my new phone number.. should i just give it to her saying that hey, i got my new place and here is my phone # or what is the best way of giving it.. or should i not even bother..
I think you should give it to her.
BTW, if OP is still here, do you happen to play D2?
k i called her last night again and there was no answer again.. should i call tonight as well or should i give it a break and call her on the weekend?
it is so tempting to call her like tonight again but i will wait till the weekend..
girls like "jerks" so to speak - cuz they usually have a lot of charisma and a "take her or leave her" attitude. Girls like the challenge of someone who is "hard to get". Nice guys are always there waiting desperately for a girl to notice them. She knows you are calling her and meh whatever.
right... should i be calling her on her cell or her home phone?.. which one is preferable?
How about both if you can't reach her?
HERE IS THE REAL TRUTH AS TO WHY GIRLS LIKE JERKS.
Truth: girls want jerks for early, short term relationships. They want to marry and grow old with nice guys. What this means is, their impulse is to date jerks, but their logical mind if they are planning for the rest of their life is to date nice guys
WHY IS THIS YOU ASK?
Truth: Because it is an evolutionary mechanism built in to women. Genetically speaking, girls want the strongest, fittest male to impregnant them. This will give their genes the greatest chance of passing on and surviving when the child is born and ages. (Face it, in the world humans came from, the jerks would survive better than the nice guys, generally).
However, girls don't JUST want strong jerks, because they would make terrible fathers. They would be more likely to neglect the child, to cheat, and to hurt the mother. Because of THIS, having a jerk raise your kid is a bad idea, so women look for the nice guy to live with and raise their kids. Ideally from an evolutionary standpoint, a women is impregnated a few times by jerks, then she marries a nice guy who raises the kids with care and attention. Thus the kids get the best of both worlds.
This is shown without question with testing. Women are much more likely to pick a 'jerk' over a 'nice guy' during the days of a month they are fertile, for example. Women pick different men for one night stands and short term relationships than they do for long term ones. They have tested brain waves in different situations to back this up, and there are many more experiments of the like. Heck, this exact behavior is very well tested and documented in lower intelligence life forms.
But hey, while you just have countless eons of evolution working against you, at least humans are smart enough to make rational choices not based on genetic makeup and some women will make better choices because of it.
interesting... well the girl i am after then probably does want a jerk as we both are in our teenage... could it be like i pretend to be a jerk but when she grows out of being with a jerk i could show her who i really am and have a chance of having long-term relationship with her..?
>>71
Don't be so quick, although girls do have a natural urge to follow the above mentioned formula, there is still a ton of varience among them as you might expect. The best bet is to be self-confident, cocky, but understanding and honest. Living a lie won't help in the long run, and probably won't work either.
I can't tell you how often one of my friends has come up with the plan "I don't really want to date this girl anymore or have her be attached to me, so I'm just going to pretend they are one of the guys and talk about all that rape, racism, illegal stuff around her like I do when she isn't around" only to have the girl fall totally in love with them because of it.
Well, it's been at least two or three times. But point being, be honest, cocky, and totally self confident in your attitude. That doesn't mean be a jerk.
i think i am starting to understand more stuff now.. basically, show her that she does mean a lot to me but i dont need her to live my life..
It's the best you can do. If you stop to think about it, it's exactly the truth also
is it better to call her later in the night time or in the evening.. she does go to college.. i have been calling her around 9:00 pm - 10:00pm.. and i am wondering if that is too late.. should i call her as soon as i get home which is around 6:00pm..
Happy birthday Sunderland.
Anyway, maybe yeah, it is kinda too late. Try to call her around seven or eight.
Thank you.. i turned 19..lol.. i am kinda excited but scared too..lol.. last year of teenage.. yeh i will try calling her around seven.. do you think it is a good idea to tell her that it is my birthday and i am coming to her town to hang around with my friends, and ask her if she would like to come along.. or is it kinda too early to ask her to go anywhere with me at this point.
Christ ask her out already. I mean you have been planning this for like FOREVER. This is ofcourse that she answers the phone.
19...eh? are you in college?
no actually, i work for apple.. i am just trying to save up some money to go to college next year..
by the way.. i called last night again, her mom answered. she wasnt home again, i left my new phone number and her mom said she will let her daughter know. her mom and i talked for like 15 mins. i asked her how everyone was and stuff, she said everyone was fine.. she asked me what i am doing now adays. told her where i work and stuff.. she sounded like she was "happy to hear my voice" maybe.. i just felt very welcomed by her... so i dont know..
You called her many times and she hasn't picked up. I think she maybe trying to avoid you. Or she doesn't live at home because she goes to college.
well i talked to her mom and she said she lives there still.. maybe she is trying to avoid me.. but then again.. everytime i am in here town.. she tells me to go over to her place for a coffee.. i am so confused
Don't assume anything by how often someone answers their phone or is at home. If she doesn't want to talk to you, let her say it herself, but if she wants you to go to her place for a coffee, then unless something happened she isn't trying to avoid you.
thats what i thought.. if she was avoiding me, then she would not be so nice and invite me over all the time.. i will call her tonight again.. man i have so bad luck. first i was in a car accident..yesterday, while changing my tire, my jack broke and the car fell on my hand.. lol.. its like i am cursed by the car...
stop calling her every night. wait for a few weeks and then give her a call.
James, how many times have you attempted to call her so far?
Also, how's your hand? That accident with your hand sounds pretty serious.
um i have called her around 4 - 5 times..
hand is okay.. i broke my wrist and crushed me fingers.. lol.. not that bad i guess.. as i said.. cursed by the car...lol
sell that piece of shit.
lol i thought about it but its the nicest car i've had..
4-5 times in how many days?
around 2-3 weeks
lol... i havent called in like 3 days now so i think i might call tonight..
ah...desperation
if i tell her about what happened to my hand, she might think that i have the worst luck and might not want to be with me.
well if she is that dumb, are you sure you want to be with her?
jerks are more better in expressing themselves
well i called her last night, she picked up but did not response very well.she did not answer very well.. i asked how she was and she asked who i was... i told her my name and she said she doesn't know me.. she did not say anything else at all and her friend came on the phone and told me to buy her a pizza and then hung up.. now in the background i could hear her saying "no, dont hang up" to this other friend of hers... i just dont know what to do...
what rotten luck, guess you're better off seeing her in person.. perhaps she was a bit sleepy and stuff and lost focus. you should get to the bottom of it all or you'll just prolong the agony of uncertainty.
or you can just give up
i mean, it sounds like she doesnt like you. if she did she would have be anxious for your calls. but no, she said she doesnt know you. she probably had some interest in you in the past but it sounded like little interest. she did invite you to events but she invited you knowing you cant make it. it makes her sleep better at night knowing she was kind of enough to invite you. but in reality she didnt want you there. not to mention you phone stalked her (yes stalked. calling her every day is stalking) and that probably creeped her out. at least now she has a name to put on that restraining order.
look your chance ended when she moved away. but rather than being a man and moved on you acted like a child and refused to accept that she was gone. you were living the illusion that you had a chance with her and obviously that is not the fact. my advice is to give up on her, take some time to focus on your needs and then try the dating pool again, except this time you will have dating book as a guide and an infinite amount of girls to chose from.
oh if she ever calls back, but i doubt she will, to apologize, go ahead and talk to her but dont expect anything out of it. she probably has trouble sleeping or needs a good laugh.
Yeah man it sucks, but she doesn't like you. Have some self respect and don't let a girl who doesn't give a fuck about you play with your emotions, because that is what's going to happen if you continue to pursue her. Use this as a learning experience and move on to the next girl. Believe me, there are too many bitches in this world for you to not find one that you like and one that likes you back.
right.. understandable.. i really did like her from deep down in my heart but oh well stuff happens.. thanks a lot guys.. you've been a great help
i really didnt stalk her.. i called her like every 3 - 4 days..
>>104
God, that was tough.
Anyway, Sunderland, good luck with the next girl.
4-ch is always here to give some e-advice.
it is going to be hard to forget her.. maybe you can advise me on how to forget thinking about her.. i am starting to havedreams about her now.. after she told me that.. one thing i would say.. when she acts wierd she is around her friends.. when shes alone, she is fine.. which is still rude and ignorant.. and she should not do that infront of her friends.. another thing.. her mom called me yesterday and asked how my nose was from the car accident and invited me over for christmass supper.. i told her that i am not sure if i can come cuz i might have to work.. i m not gonna bother.. i found that very rude how she acted infront of her friends.. i need some help forgetting about her.. and that should be all..
My suggestion would be to travel some where far off, Somewhere you'll be able to have fun. Bring some friends along so you'll forget about it fast. I'd say you should go to China, Europe, Fiji, Hawaii, or best of all Japan.
My suggestion would be to travel some where far off, Somewhere you'll be able to have fun. Bring some friends along so you'll forget about it fast. I'd say you should go to China, Europe, Fiji, Hawaii, or best of all Japan.
It seriously seems that this girl simply doesn't want to meet you.
But then again, you could go to that supper if you have some free time.
Then you can meet her. Perhaps she simply doesn't remember your name, but she does remember your face.
But if she doesn't remember your face, then... Excuse yourself and leave. Then that case is closed forever.
But how to forget her: find a better hobby.
yeh i am not going to bother with her anymore.. if she calls then fine.. i did mention to her if she needs anything give me a call and i'll do whatever is in my reach to help... so yeh.. not going over or anything.. i am just gonna move on..
Yeah, moving on is the only way to go. I'm going to be honest with you, for the next few weeks it's going to SUCK. You're going to think about her all the time and want to go back on your decision, but DON'T, because wait a few more weeks and you won't think about her at all, if ever.
Now is a good time to get your life together. Get some hobbies, make some friends, hang out with them more, try new things, make sure the next time you see a girl you have the hots for, you are truly ready to go and take her. I've been through this before, and it may feel like the end of the world, but believe me man, it's not. Like someone said above, there are so many girls in this world it's ridiculous.
And one more thing, just to throw it out there, don't base your life around a girl. Make sure before you go for another girl, you have a life of your own and you are simply inviting her into it, instead of making her your life.
>>114 speaks the truth
>i did mention to her if she needs anything give me a call and i'll do whatever is in my reach to help
if she calls dont bother talking to her. if you pick up the phone and she is on the other end, just say you are in a hurry and cant talk and you will call back some other time. but dont call her back. it is best to end it cold turkey and treat her as a bad dream. and of course dont go and visit her, enjoy christmas dinner with your family.
Or, you could solve the problem without being an ass in return.
Look, do whatever you want, there are a billion ways to solve the problem. There are any number of ways to 'forget about her', and it's totally up to you how you respond if she calls you. Just don't stress out about it, it'll sort itself out in time and you'll be fine, not to mention a tad wiser because of whatever happens
How is not wanting to talk to someone being an ass? He's not obligated to.
No...telling her to eat shit and die is being an ass.
A more general reply, more to the title question.
Sometimes girls can't tell the guy is a jerk, he's probably confusing her.
If he's a jackass, he's a complete jackass, and he's not going to let her know that.
And nice guys ought to help a girl out. I remember a few instances where a good guy friend made all the difference.
You tried, James. You tried.
God what a bunch of fucking weirdos.
Dude....seriously you are the creepy sort we were talking about.
Either a girl will like you or she won't.
Meh, most girls have a "bad boy" fetish.
>>122
and then they wonder why they're suddenly pregnant and single.
>>121 is right
cmon, be a graceful loser. girls reject you, don't blame it on them, they just didn't like you, but you did. which sucks, but thats how it is...
i am not going to kill myself for it.. just a little shook up how she used to react when i was around and how she reacted now.. just a little upset but i think i am strong enough to take it.. if she thinks she is too good for me then oh well, her loss, all i wanted to give her and make her feel like she was out of this world, some other girl, who cares about me as much as i care about her, would be getting all that.. i am fine with that..
Or do what im doing and get a phd, girls cant resist doctors :)
Or do what im doing and get a phd, girls cant resist doctors :)
i want to do my Aviation course next year so i am kinda looking forward to that..
they cant resist MD doctors not phd doctors
the girl i was talking to you guys about.. she actually told me that she would want to get married to a fire fighter..
i didnt want to be a firefighter anyways so it was a good thing it didnt work out for us..
why are you thinking about marriage at this age, especially with a girl you are not dating or even have a relationship with?