I met him! (18)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-02 20:02 ID:ZkU6oDhi

I met the one I love a month and a half ago. I had the option of him or an ex who I loved for 5 years, I chose him because I realized that I loved him more than anything in the whole world! ^^ He posted here a month ago and said we're getting married, well we are! ^^

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-02 20:30 ID:Heaven

Wow, you met him once and you're getting married? Godspeed I guess.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-02 20:32 ID:7Qahr/1R

I'm really happy for you!

I met the girl I love just recently.

It's a great feeling isn't it?

I wish you luck!

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-02 20:34 ID:ZlXp13Wx

A month is a bit too soon, I think you should give it a bit more time. So you can get past that initial love stage and see if you two can really work it out.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-02 23:02 ID:Heaven

Don't get married this soon, seriously. A month is not even long enough for the twangs in your stomach to settle down. Give it time, or six months from now you may find you made a huge mistake.

Congrats, though.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-03 02:35 ID:l0sXEZEf

Are you still even physically together or did you just meet for a day or two? Your relationship is going to change and evolve a lot when it becomes short-distance. You should really wait a while before even considering the marriage thing. Really, what's the rush?

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-03 03:09 ID:Heaven

>>5 here
Woah what the fuck? It's a long distance relationship?

Slow. Down.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-03 04:31 ID:T8r/83gK

Rein yourselves in before you become another addition to the divorce rate statistic. At least see a marriage counsellor before you start planning the wedding.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-03 04:52 ID:6pw27ssI

Good luck on your divorce when it happens!

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-03 05:50 ID:x3XIqsyj

Why are you all assuming its too soon? there is such a thing as love at first sight. And not once did she mention long distance or anything like that. If you fools have nothing intelligent to say, keep it to yourselves.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-03 05:52 ID:ZkU6oDhi

No, it's not long distance, we've been seeing each other the past month and a half thank you! :-p He lives 5 min down the road from me when I'm at school, and when I'm not he lives no more than 90 miles away! :-p hehe. We have hung out everyday since then and we will be hanging out every day when school starts back up! ^_^ Hehe.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-03 05:57 ID:ZkU6oDhi

Here's his post....

"Hello, this is my story of my potentially third love interest in my entire life....

I've only dated two other girls before, both didn't work out, yada yada. This girl I met last week is an interesting affair, I may be stuck in friend zone by I will describe how things went and maybe you can help to understand a bit more where I stand.

I'm your typical anime freak/nerd etc. engineering student who is part of the dance dance revolution club at my college. I was walking out of the room with my red octane pad and these two girls and one of their brothers approached me and asked about it. I told them ddr club ended just now, they were very interested in joining, so I showed them some propoganda about the club and we got to talking about random things in life, we hit off pretty well. Me and my room mate (both of us are in the club) started heading off, and one of them came up and asked us for our phone numbers for future coordinations as friends. My friend was more cautious and didn't give her the right number, but me being the honest type gave in.

Long story made short, we talked a bit, hung out with some of her other friends, and she and I got together on Saturday, where my story really takes place. She is a total DDR nut, so I figured a good thing for us to do (in a purely hangout context) is go to the arcade together, so we did. Had a nice talk, played a few games, went back to her apartment where I had parked my car, at that point I thought we were done but she was like "wait, I didn't say you had to go yet". She suggested we go for a hike together, I mention theres a really cool trail near my house, so we go there. We talk some more as we hiked, then went to my house to go pick up some home ddr equipment. She then offers to give me dinner at her place, so we head over to her apartment at around 6:30PM. We continued to talk and have a good time, playing ddr the entire time. She had some organic chemistry homework to finish up, so she was like "you can keep playing while I work on this". While she was working on that in the main room, both of her roomates were out and she mentioned that it was kind of nice to have some one around. We ended up playing ddr until freaking 2:00AM, needless to say I was a little "ddr'd out" by that point. THe entire time though we had a good time talking, and I think she was kinda sorta flirting with me, but I dunno. We called it quits about then, she went so far to walk me to my car, then told me to call her when I got home so she knew I was safe. I complied and was like "sure".

In any other context I would say this was all pretty good for me, but I'm not sure how she views me. She definitely sees me as a friend, as do I, but some of how she was acting indicates to me that she is either overly friendly, is slightly interested in me, or its how she treats all her other friends.

I will go with the cautious road in this situation, but I was just interested in your guy's opinion of my situation. Thanks for reading"

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-03 06:03 ID:4LhTSTRF

It's nice that you feel a connection here, but 1 1/2 months is WAY too little time to date before marriage. I'd wait at LEAST 6 months. If you can't wait that long, you shouldn't get married in the first place.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-03 06:06 ID:x3XIqsyj

Well (the guy half of this relationship here), we're gonna wait till we're done with college, but we know we're gonna marry each other someday, so thats all that matters. We're gonna wait (I've got 2 more years)

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-03 07:12 ID:Heaven

Oh, I see. She really should have mentioned that "in 2 years" part!

Even so, you should slow down! What clicked in my mind when I read >>1 was that you had been talking online for a long time and finally met a month and a half ago, not that you only just became acquainted. That's even worse!

>>10 Maybe love at first sight does exist, but if it does, it's not the kind of love you can decide marriage on! If you marry someone after only knowing them for a month and a half, your marriage's success is relying purely on luck. You barely know anything about your partner. You don't know your partner's daily habits. As far as you know, living together might drive both of you crazy. These kind of things are why people give it a few months/years before they decide to spend the rest of their lives together.

Just think about it like an adult for a second. There are people who wait 5 years to get married, and STILL end up getting divorced. I understand that you're just planning to do it right now, but those plans could change fast, and you'll end up looking like a little schoolgirl who decides to marry every guy that takes an interest in her.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-03 07:56 ID:ZlXp13Wx

Oh thank god you decided to wait. A month and a half is way too soon to even think about marriage, hell I don't even say "I love you" that soon.

How long does she have left? You should wait until she is done with school and then wait a little longer to really see you can live with each other outside of school when you are truely on your own and have real world problems to worry about.

All men should respect and I mean RESPECT marriage to the point they are truely AFRAID of it. Never ever take it lightly, like buying a pair of socks. But then again, after some Hollywood events marriage might just be joke.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-03 08:24 ID:x3XIqsyj

All I can say is: for the majority of you folks, "I find you lack of faith...disturbing." Give them a chance, for all you know it could work. It might be normal for people to wait, but not everyone is the same. Nothing wrong with that.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-03 10:58 ID:Heaven

>It's nice that you feel a connection here, but 1 1/2 months is WAY too little time to date before marriage. I'd wait at LEAST 6 months. If you can't wait that long, you shouldn't get married in the first place.

Seconded.
Marriage is NOT just love. A marriage will NOT last if it doesn't have plenty of other things in there with love. If you're not mature enough to wait (yes, I did read the in 2 years bit), then don't get married at all. Do not assume that you will get married. Feel free to assume that it seems quite likely, but do not set yourself up for a dissapointment. Realize that relationships take a lot of work, but good ones are easily worth it in the long run. Also, don't make the classical mistake of expecting the partner to be some kind of mindreader.. People are different; different backgrounds and different lives. This automatically leads to different connotations and expectations.
Make sure to communicate with each other regarding your expectations and assumptions, because even though something may seem blatantly obvious to one of you, does NOT mean it will be blatantly obvious for the other one. People have different habits as well.
Sorry for the semi-rant... Anyways, I wish you two the best, >>1 !

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