A few months ago, my friend told the girl I liked about my feelings for her, so she told me and asked me if I wanted to ask her out, I said yes and asked her, but now it seems like that never even happened. I'm thinking that it was too forced, and wish it could have waited 'till I was ready, but now, because I'm very shy always, I can't even bring myself to speak to her, even knowing this, it feels like she's ignoring me. I think I should ask her out again, this time on my terms, when I'm confident, ready, and prepared. But I don't want to do that for a week or two, because recently, I got in a fight, and I have a black/greenish/reddish eye, and I'm always self concious ablout how I look, so I'm in no condition to handle this situation. I really need help w/ this. Advice?
>>1
Wait, what? You asked her out? And then she cancelled and no new date was set?
Stop dicking around.
If you had just came out and stated your feelings without being all weird or abrupt you'd have been perfectly fine. Instead you waited until she found out and it became strange and somewhat awkward.
Now that you're actually going out with her you're too shy to even talk with her. If she's acting like she's ignoring you or is irritated with you it makes perfect sense. If you're too much of a pantywaist to even talk with her of course she's going to be somewhat put off!
I think what you're looking for is a way to get around this shyness of yours but you're not going to find one. You're just going to have to buck up and find the strength to just be able to approcah her and talk normally.
You want advice? Just talk with her. Don't act like she's different species, she's a person like everyone else and you have no real reason to be so nervous. With you being so self-conscious you're always going to find an excuse to not meet with her, you need to stop fixating on that and actually interact with her like a normal human being. It's this nonsense business of being shy and self-conscious that got you into this mess so talk to her now, not 1, 2, 3 or however many weeks from now.
>>1
[my friend told the girl ]
why ur friend did that in the first place??
thanx >>3, I agree that was kinda harsh, but there was really good advice in there.
Still can't talk, and, now, thing is getting more complicated. This girl, me, our friend( lets call her "2" ) and our other friend("3"), have a little group. We all share one class, and I also share a class with the afore mentioned girl. Problem is, she shares a class with 3, and they seem very very close, too close, especially because whenever they are around me, they are acting like I am not even there.
Stuff happens, and meanwhile, an important fact in this is that before I asked the aforementioned girl out, in my mind, I was deciding whether I liked her or 2 more. I chose a.g, but now, it looks like a.g could care less for me, and while she is not talking to me, 2 is openly conversational with me, and I with her. Do you think I should go for her? (just need a push in the direction from someone else to make up my mind.)
But even if I do give up on a.g, and go for 2, I am still technically with a.g. And since we havent really been going out, telling her we should break up just seems stupid. But if she sees me and 2 going out, then she might just see me as a cheat, because I have no idea whats going on her head, (on a side note, I think I know 2's thought process pretty well.)
So, waht do I say to end what never really started? Ask her when you're ready, but the primary thing you should told her now is that you're shy.
>>7
Sorry about it being somewhat tough but believe me when I say that you need a little kick in the ass now. If you don't have someone driving home a little harsh advice now that will actually get you motivated to act then things will be alot tougher later on, trust me.
Just talk to this girl with the same ease you'd talk to a normal friend. She really isn't all that different but you're getting all worked up because she's a girl when it's not all that big a deal. If you don't drop this hesitation though things will become alot more "harsh" with this girl of yours.
but these days, she's not just not talking to me, shes also ignoring me. now she wont even walk through the same door as me, yesterday morning, I tried holding the door open for her, after which I was going to try to start a conversation, she saw me, she got this look on her face, and walked through the other door. SNUBBED!!!!
at this point, even though I still have some feelings for her, I'm ready to end this.
still need advice on how to end what never started.
well if she is avoiding you or purpose you should ask her why. i know it takes a lot out of you, but do it without freaking out and don't be scared to be a bit more aggressive.
ask her what happened, and WHY is she avoiding you. if her answer doesn't satisfy you, press on more and ask her why she agreed to go out with you in the first place. and be prepared for harsh answers.
fart man, you posted that twice!
(stating the obvious)
you're excused.
thank u
welcome
Damn, after a while all these threads read the same...