A hypocrite's problem. (7)

1 Name: Anna : 2007-01-31 23:47 ID:6IuWfKWx

First of all I'm a girl.
I've just started getting 'closer' with my boyfriend, as in physically. He's very self-concious about himself, and so am I so it's a huge step, i guess.

I've never done anything besides make out with a guy, and I dont really want to go farther. I watch enough porn to know my opinion about penises (I know that sounds retarded but it's true), and i'm not too fond of them. I don't think i'm a lesbian, but I am attracted to girls more than guys. And i'm not really attracted to him.

Anyways, me and him are really close (mentally?) too. He doesnt stop telling me how much he loves me, i'm beautiful, etc etc. I really love him, but i dont think i'm in love with him or share the same feelings back/to the same extent. I've broken up/got back together 3 times and each time he gets extremely emotional. I am the only person he talks to about personal problems, so he will outright tell me how he misses and wants me. High school relationships are overrated and always end, so i dont have much hope for a relationship anyways.

I dont know what to do because I dont wanna have sex with him, i definitely don't want him to be my 'first'. The thing is we've already talked about a shitload of horny stuff like our plans for bondage etc etc whatever. I dont wanna send mixed messages and be like, uh no, no sex. We're getting there and he wants me to go to a convention with him which means a hotel and no parents. Which means he's like expecting sex probably.

I dont wanna hurt him again, but this sagging guilt in my stomach feels SO BAD because i now regret letting him touch me, and i dont want regret. I feel ashamed of myself too, because i dont feel the same about him, and still am being physical. I'm going against myself. And, everything is reminding me of him.

Is there anything possible to help me? I dont wanna hurt him again.

2 Name: MC 900 Ft. Jesus : 2007-02-01 01:25 ID:h3Dhvlfs

Please hang yourself.
If you're going to talk about sex and then deny him, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. Tell him that you have no intrest in sex with him and leave. There's no way to avoid hurting him at this point, though if you're frank you might be able to avoid turning him into a bitter guy with no desire for relationships.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-01 03:40 ID:HEqbHvnT

Well i don't know much about being gay, but i fell in love with a guy once and it was pretty messed up. For you , if you are really not attracted sexually to him at all, I mean not even a little?, well break it off before yo do have sex with him cause if you break it of after wards, man his confidence is gonna come crashing down!

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-01 03:44 ID:j4K84xuW

You are such a tease! Even as a girl teases piss me off. I am with >>2 on this one.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-01 04:16 ID:FxmZjjXB

For both of your sake's, be honest with him. Actions speak louder then words, especially if your not saying what you are thinking.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-01 04:20 ID:5hBJGC/P

You don't want to hurt him again? You already harmed him the first time you broke up, and then again the second time. Hey, I think the best thing for him is for you to BREAK UP WITH HIM and never get back with him again. This is why I don't like when couples get back together. The reason why you broke up will never go away.

>And i'm not really attracted to him.

If you are not attracted to him, then you can't love him. Why can't girls be mean? You know will hurt guys more if you be nice to them until things get out of hand. By then you set up them for a fall so high, it will be hard for them to recover.

End the relationship now before things get worse and you will be in a pickle. And when I say end, no more getting back together. I am not going to lie, he will be crushed and he will try his hardest to try to get back together with you. If you do, then you will be the dumbest girl alive.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-01 06:55 ID:t4eMQ2Jg

1) Set the boundaries in your relationship. If you dont love him cut off the relationship right now. You dont have time to waste in something your are not totally interested in. He will get over it. You are not the last woman on earth.

2) No sex. Never give into it it. A man will not die if he doesnt have sex and you dont have to be a provider of it to anyone. Period.

3) Tell him that a friendship is going to work best. That is your decision and he can not force you into another relationship otherwise. DO NOT LET the number of years together or the many times yall got back together matter. Ever. If it doesnt work, kill it off. You are not enslaved to time nor past memories.

Be the stronger one. Tell him how it is and help him through it. Be the woman you want to be and never give into someone elses emotions to keep them balanced. You will only get sucked dry if the other doesnt make it a point to refill you and encourage and sharpen you.

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