I think I have a problem here: whenever I fall in love I cannot really enjoy it, thinking I'm just wasting my time.
I'm an exceptionally intelligent man, with multiple interests, tackling chem, pysics, astronomy majors (one can do that here) at the same time, without even trying much. Same time I'm quite into IT and even find time for stuff unrealated to science. Like becoming a sort of expert on classic Hollywood movies, learning japanese. However my interests change quite often, sometimes every few months, once I'm statisfied with the level of knoweledge reached.
I just had my 23rd birthday not long ago, and this has been going on ever since I was 10. Consequently I have very few friends, whom I carefully choose. They are mostly scientists/teachers much older than myself. However I'm generally too nice to people, and have a few friends of my age, mostly classmates. I have never had any problems approaching girls/women, if I found them interesting enough, but whenever I fell in love I started to feel an intense discomfort and broke off relationships quite bluntly whenever I felt they'd change my priorities. At least one time on a 'date' that was supposed to be about our plans for the future, I ended up in "emotionally raping" myself so we could be just friends. I had no such intention beforehand, but that awful tought of just 'wasting' my life came over me. Afterwards I was shaking for half an hour, almost unable to communicate. Ever since I made sure it's firmly understood freindship is the most I'd go for.
The other unsettling problem is I can't give higher priority to anyone than the rest, always feeling it's not fair. Funnily enough this even extends to my own family, whom all think I'm quite cold towards them.
I even examined my sexual preferences, but I'm convincingly 'straight' as far as I can determine. (I find male homosexual media quite disturbing, for instance.)
Actually I found the character of Light from Death Note very close to myself in most ways. (The reason one of my friends showed me the series, was to draw my attention to the intense similarity in our personalities, he also showed me this website.)
I guess there are lot of people with many unique perspectives on this forum, could you please tell me what's wrong with me? I feel something is. The psychologist said: "There's absolutly nothing wrong with you, now get out of here." - but I don't feel like that.
I'm sorry I don't know how to help...
I also need a little help.
I am stalking my friends english teacher. once I get my license I'm just going to drive by her house slowly...
A lot of people think I'm crazy.
Is it a problem I feel uncomfortable around the police? I start trembling around them, turn pale, and just don't feel right knowing I've done something wrong around the police.
I'm under 18, but the government thinks I'm 23 for some reason. I
I think you just have commitment phobia. You're afraid of relationships and how it might change you. You've been too used to living a certain way that you can't have someone come in and interrupt it. I'm just assuming of course. I don't know what you can do to avoid it. I dont suggest you rush into things in an effort to "dive headfirst into your fears" because that's not going to work. Also you might want to look into avoidance personality because you seem to have some type of anxiety problem associated with your commitment phobia. Do you tend to avoid getting into relationships due to this fear you have?
You're scared of losing. You emotionally detach a piece of yourself so that you'll never get hurt. Like your inability to commit to a hobby, you are also unable to commit to a relationship. You hate giving too much of yourself away. You like to be control of things, and falling in love will throw a spanner into routine, safe, and predictable life. You're scared to open up to someone else incase they betray you or think less of you. It makes you feel vulnerable.
Thanks for the replies.
Let me clarify some points. It's not about how I live my live, it's about doing something with it. There are too few people who could really make an intellectual contribution to civilization that'll benefit many, other than reproduction. However I do have my misgivings about uncontrolled reproduction..it leads to exponential growth curves, but that's well known so I won't dwell on it. The problem is more like I'd be cheating on the majority by favoring a minority with activities any old human can do. To me a 'normal' life seems pointless enough not to bother with it, it's no better than animals in the zoo.
Sorry for being so blunt and vulgar.
>>6
Funnily enough, I was actually describing myself.
We should get together and make some babies..
...or not.
>>8
If you do that tell the board, I'd be happy to join you.
And to paraphrase you: ... or not.
Wait, how'd you know i'm a girl?? lol Wait...are you a guy?
If not, we could just become lesbo roommates and spend our days collecting cats.
wel i think that it is not a problem at all you know that you are too young you didn't yet build you personality ,and you didn't yet find the real love that makes you cry ,don't warry don't seek about love let it come alone , well iam 23 years old women and i have many adventures with man ,but the one that i have loved he died ...so i advice you to don't hurt women , and make "finding a women" and "being stable with her" your own obsession .
love isn't the be all end all of life. there is SO much more to life than finding a party. that is something a lot of people that browse these boards forget. We all become so focused on finding someone that we lose sight of all else that life has to offer. However, there is knowing something and feeling it's right. I am no better as, though I know that love isn't all there is to life, i am always still in a constant state of melancholy because of heartache.
But you - you don't suffer from the same problem that we do. Maybe there isn't anything "wrong" per say about you and you should just do whatever fancies you and pursue science and all that. Though there is always the possibility of overlooking "the one" and missing out on her, that possibility exists in pretty much any path we take. I say just do your own thing and perhaps in the future, you'll find a girl in your chosen field that has the same intellect as you and you can be one of those research teams I read about all the time in textbooks.
>>1 the problem is you post here.
i want to knew you secret admirer...
>>10
Lesbo roomies it is then.
I'll stop hijacking this thread now.
Hey I have been monitoring ur board for awhile & I wanted some advice. First, I am a girl, if that offends yall, then sorry.
If anyone is in BDSM, u might be able to help me. My BF loves powerful women, which I am. I have been a dom since I met him (THe good kind though, no abuse) Lately, I have been feeling less like dominating us(in anyway) and I have been wanting to be submissive to him, anyone have any idea what the hell that could be about. Also, I'm losing his interest b/c he's always known me as a dom. and he wants me to be more agressive, what do I do?