too scared to act (17)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 09:06 ID:QXiexH4k

What should I do?

  1. Confess to her, risking being rejected and not seeing her/talking to her ever again.
  2. Not confess, remain good friends (talking mostly online though, we've just graduated) and possibly hate myself for the rest of my life.
  3. Kill myself.
  4. ????

I'm really lost, I will regret doing 2 and I will probably regret doing 1 (I really have no idea what she would say).

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 13:35 ID:XDI70+JO

Tragic copypasta problem.

Saying that, obviously 1. Except if you're gonna confess online, you're better off doing number 3 first.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 14:36 ID:LN9/XjRz

number 3 is for life loosers. are you a looser?

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 14:40 ID:U68uTlDY

I'd say to suggest that you two meet up somewhere, and then confess to her in some way, after gauging the atmosphere... If you really had something going on, don't let it go by inaction... 'course, I've been having spurts of weird sudden bravery along those lines & such lately, so my suggestion may too bold given whatever your particular situation may be..

5 Name: OP : 2007-05-25 14:46 ID:QXiexH4k

>>3
I don't consider 3 seriously, but I do feel like one.

>>2
So confessing online is out of question? That would mean I have to ask her out somewhere first...

The problem is that I love her so much it hurts, and being rejected would be close to death; while I'm still quite happy being able to talk with her everyday.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 15:33 ID:kC/DyOlu

I was in your situation a couple months ago. I'm not a good person to be giving advice, being still pretty moronic. Nonetheless:
- As >>2 said, do NOT confess online. I did, and lived to regret it (even though I did succeed eventually, it just made things awkward until I asked her out)
- I've learned that there is no "right moment" to confess. Don't wait around for it, because it will never come. Just wait until you two are alone; distractions are bad, and she might be too embarrassed if you do it in front of people. You also might just want to ask her out instead of confessing.

Remember this: Though you can probably get away with simply being friends for a while, eventually your love will consume you, if it's anything like mine. You said yourself that you love her so much it hurts (an echo of my words!) and just imagine how much more it will hurt as the days continue without you getting any closer to her. You're going to have to go for it eventually, unless you want to live with the eternal torture of being close to her, but not close enough.

To conclude my long-winded and cliched advice: Don't give up! And if, for some terrible reason, she rejects you, don't let it lead you to 3!

7 Post deleted by moderator.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-25 21:18 ID:zVgwF5AY

What is better: to regret something you did or to regret something you didn't?

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-26 06:25 ID:sSz57Nrz

Depends. If it's something harmless, it's better to regret something you did. If it's rape or murder, it might be better to regret that you did it.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-26 10:52 ID:Heaven

>>7
On the contrary, it's not delicious at all.

>>1
Care to elaborate on 4, HUUUUUUUH, FUNNY GUY???

11 Post deleted by moderator.

12 Name: OP : 2007-05-26 21:15 ID:T4Rj0SzE

>>9
And that's the whole problem: I wouldn't consider confessing to her harmless to me. It can ruin everything I've already achieved.

But thanks for advice, everyone. I think I will try to find an opportunity to meet her and confess, after all.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-26 23:57 ID:Z0DGDT+w

give her a dildo, she'll let you do kinky things to her.

14 Name: madman's horse : 2007-05-26 23:58 ID:Z0DGDT+w

also, DON'T remember protection, then you'll have kiddies, and you'll be forced to see more of her.

15 Name: MC 900 Ft. Jesus : 2007-05-27 18:04 ID:3TGnRFOj

Since nobody in this thread has given you any decent fucking advice, I guess I'll jump in.

  1. DO NOT TELL HER YOU LOVE HER. I don't care how much you think you love her, life isn't a fucking movie and actually saying that to her is practically guranteed to creep her the fuck out because you're coming on so strong and she'll be put on the spot and turn you down. The only way this wouldn't happen is if she feels the same way, and I gurantee you that you don't want to make your move expecting that to be the case. If you only take one this away from this thread, let this be it.
  2. Don't do it online. Asking her online is an autofail on the same level of saying you love her. Be a fucking man about it and meet her face to face, or at least on the phone if you're too much of a pansy to do it in person. It's a lot easier to turn someone down when they're reading text instead of hearing a voice or seeing a face, it's empathy or something.
  3. Be casual. Ask her to dinner or something (and pay for her, you cheapskate). If you do this sort of thing regularly already, be forward with your intentions and say you want to consider it a date. If not, you life becomes much easier because it'll be much easier to just imply it's a date and you can build yourself up from there. Either way, make sure that it's absolutely clear that it IS a date.
  4. Rome wasn't built in a day, and your relationship won't be either. Confessing isn't going to throw you into a happy wonderland of rainbows and puppies where life is awesome. You have to build it from the ground up. If your date goes well, ask her out again. Do this a few times before trying to get some sort of a commitment. After that, feel free to gush your lovey dovey bullshit. Just remember NOT TO DO IT UNTIL SHE IS IN YOUR ARMS. Women on the whole are stupid and won't go for you if you're obviously interested in them. You'll have to do some acting to appear more nonchalant about it.

Now go out there and get your fucking woman. I know you can do it.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-03 07:14 ID:f5bDFAas

Key point for 15 is #4. I don't agree with the "women on the whole are stupid" part, but OP, listen to that guy.

I have to admit -- I've had more success where I appeared to not be as interested as I really was.

Just go out there and be your attractive self that she already likes, apparently. You have to work your way to that confession through enough good times between (just) you and her.

People in that situation will often dream that the other person is "just waiting for them to say the words", but doing that too soon is like jumping in a bath where the water's too hot.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-03 10:15 ID:BzcvxSVf

>>16

>I've had more success where I appeared to not be as interested as I really was.

Sad, but true. I'd like to think of myself as a rational, reasonable girl. But when there's no "chase", or a guy goes mushy over me too quickly, I can't help but be turned off.

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