Well, my first official one. I'm going to take a girl to the movies. She's been a friend of mine for a while and I asked her if she wanted to go out and what do you know, she said yes. So I'm going to take her to the movies. I have a few questions.

1. I was thinking about holding hands as we walked through the mall. Is that too much for a first date?
2. Is it also too much to put my arm around her during the movie?
3. Should we go somewhere afterwards? Like somewhere to eat? If so, what are some idea places?
4. What should I do once I walk her to her door (and let's assume the date went well like I hope it will)?

I've known her for two years or so, but I was never attracted to her until recently. So we have a history together but nothing beyond friendship. We get along well too. I don't want to mess this up, so any help is appreciated. Thank you. And if you want to know what type of girl she is, she's a quiet girl but once you get her talking she will never stop.

My main fear is her objecting my advances and me not knowing how to react to them. Me grabbing her hand and her pulling away would be fucking horrible. Okay, I'll stop now. I just don't want to take too big of steps and end up fucking everything up.

2GET

also:

1. Yeah, holding her hand is fine, BUT, since things are still in an awkward stage for both of you, you might do well to make LIGHT of the hand holding. I mean, basically, over exagerate your desire to hold her hand, in a way that seems amusing, like some old formality. ie:"I say, may I hold thy hand, M'Lady?" I might not explain it well, but basically by doing it that way you strip the hand holding of it's awkwardness, while still technically holding hands. If she refuses, laugh, since it was a funny joke in the first place. plus, it sets you up for later uses of comic exageraation to furhter the snugglies. [i can't believe I typed snugglies]
2. skip the arm around the shoulders. at MOST, simultaneously occupy the armrest, touching arms LIGHTLY. don't drape your friggin arm over the whole thing. Occupy it enough that you kind touch, but not enough that it would make her want to just give you the armrest.
3. Fast food's your best bet. you don't need to pay, but it would be gentlemanly.
4. Guage the evening, if you're feeling confident, give her a light kiss, maybe even just on the cheek. if you want to play it safe, why not a hug?

general tips - tkae everything slow and easy, you'll enjoy it more.

3get sage combo. I hope this domain dies before I hate all Americans.

I would answer but >>2 covered all of it. Just take it easy. If it feels right, do it. If it doesn't, don't.

Do whatever makes you feel confortable, there is no point in doing something just because you're supposed to do it that way. Do what you feel like doing and ask her whether she's confortable with it.

>>2 is a pussy.

1. Don't pretend you are making a joke. She's not dense. Just look at her and extend your hand for her to take.
2. Don't do that unless if she's already been flirting with you.
3. Go to a non-chain restaurant. Not fast food, not Applebee's. For example, a good diner or a pizza place with a nice atmosphere. Pay for it yourself, and if she argues make sure to argue back. Don't be a wimp.
4. Say "thank you." If you're going for damage control because it's clear she only thinks of you as a friend, just tell her you had a wonderful evening. If you think she's into you but she doesn't make the first move, ask if you can kiss her (it's romantic). Don't force yourself onto her-- it's creepy, because it's apparent you're not that kind of guy. Don't hug her, that's totally awkward.

Take it slow. After all, you guys have been friends for a while. What you want to do is merge the friendship into a romantic one naturally. If you go too fast like touchy feely on the first date, it'll just seem too out of character and forced. Don't reach for her hand until later into the date, where the nerves are more calmed. And like >>6 said, ask her if you can kiss her at her doorstep if things are feeling right.

Last note: Just be chivalrous.

OP here, thanks for all the advice. I'm going to take it slow and easy and just do what feels right...and also, HAVE FUN. I think that's the main thing people forget to do when they go on dates. If both of you are having fun, that means things are going good, right?

I'm taking her out Thursday. I'll let you guys know how it went. Thanks for the help again. I really appreciate it.

OP here again, one thing that sounded weird to me was asking to kiss her. Wouldn't that be a real awkward question to ask someone? Like if someone asked me if they could kiss me, I would be like O_O. I'd much rather they just take the initiative and do it, but I don't know much about these things. As you can tell by now. I am 18 BTW, but I still consider this my first real date because I am actually interested in the girl.

> OP here again, one thing that sounded weird to me was asking to kiss her. Wouldn't that be a real awkward question to ask someone? Like if someone asked me if they could kiss me, I would be like O_O.

Yeah, but you'd also think it's really sweet, right?

Okay, I posted that and I've never really kissed someone (at colleges these days, dating is sort of morphing into hanging out). There was a speaker who came here this fall and gave us that advice. We've been making jokes about it ever since, but it's smart too. If you don't want to turn a friendship into an incredibly awkward non-friendship, you can always play it safe and ask first. If you know she wants a kiss, of course, just give it.

Also, if it was a good date would she really say "no"?!

I think you are right. It's an uncomfortable question but what's more uncomfortable? Someone asking to kiss you or someone just randomly kissing you? I don't know...but I think I will ask first. Yes. I will ask. She will be surprised and say something like "what??" but then that will most likely follow with a "sure" or something else like that.

ooh, I wish you the very best luck on your date

Eh? It's been a week. What happened to the OP. Did he post the results of the date on another thread or did he die from that date?

Oh sorry guys, I've been real busy with work, but the date went really well.

When we got there, the movie was already starting, so unfortunately we didn't get to walk around the mall (meaning there wasn't a chance to hold her hand). On our way to the cinema, I buy a lot (and I mean A LOT) of food for myself and asks if she wants anything but she said she isn't hungry. I'm not surprised since when we hung out she was never really hungry. We sit down, it's pretty cold, but not that cold that I would need a hoody. Anyways, during the movie, we shared the arm rest. Our arms were touching but not that much that I was pushing her off. It felt rather nice to sit so close to her. About half way during the movie I start poking her randomly. She didn't seem to mind, she poked me back, lol.

The movie ends (we saw Shrek 3, it was okay) and we leave the cinema to go to the little arcade that's outside of it. We play there for about 30 minutes and it was really fun. We talked a lot and I always maintained eye contact and it was fun and a lot of laughing. The arcade thing closed, so we sat outside of the mall on one of the benches.

We had to talk for at least an hour. Just about random things. I wanted to go somewhere to eat but she insisted she wasn't hungry, so instead of asking her I asked her stomach (I put my ear up to her stomach, lol). In the end we decided it was too late and we were getting tired so we didn't go anywhere to eat (I was getting a little tired myself).

Go up to her house, I walk her to her door. While I did I judged how the date went. I said it went okay, but not enough that I would kiss her. So I didn't. Instead I gave her a friendly hug. I also asked her did she enjoy herself and if she wanted to go out again and almost without thinking she was like yeah.

So from there, we have been hanging out recently but not on another date yet. We are actually getting closer and more comfortable with each other so it's going really well. I mean, I can even rest my hand on her lap now and we can just hug or tickle each other (lol) and it's like it's no big deal.

On the next official date I plan to kiss her and ask her if she wants to officially start going out. You know, as girlfriend and boyfriend.

But anyways, thanks for listening to me 4-ch. I really appreciate the advice you guys gave me and this probably won't be the last time I ask for it.

>>15
Your date brings a tear to my eye.
It's been a pleasure, I'm so proud of you. Sob.

GREAT JOB!

>>15
Oh, you make me jealous. If only my first date had been so smooth. And my second. And my third. Ah well, enough about me, I'm glad to hear it's going well!

>>15
Congrats on the date going so well! And, in response to the "Should I ask to kiss?", don't. After going on that first date, it seems like you're getting a feel for "going on what feels appropriate at the time". Asking to kiss makes things awfully awkward-- if you're hugging or snuggling together and it's readily apparent that she's very into you, go for it.

Wow.....I've never been on a date and I already I can see my first going very well like yours! Awesome ^_^

Congrats! When it comes to the kissing part, asking is just werid. Just in a moment of silence, when you two are close and making eye contact, just slowly plant one on her. The less words the better.

I'm jealous... -Dateless 17 year old

what also works:

rohypnol

but if that's not your style, then i suggest just going for it when the time is right. if she's not a total b*tch then even if you are kinda sloppy and silly and shit then it won't matter as long as it's a kiss.