Alright, I'm a male to female transsexual. Mostly attracted to men (with occasional but rare exceptions.) Now since I started transition I haven't dated anyone, and I see around lots of things calling transsexual women men. So I wanted to take an informal poll. What is your opinion in general of transsexuals and sex changes? Would you consider dating one? What would you consider your sexual orientation to be?
(answers can be in regards to females becoming males too, but that's less directly relevant to my interests)
Honestly, I think that trans-sexual people have a mental disorder. Most of them say that it's "being trapped in a body of the wrong gender," but when in reality, they are just people who do not sympathize with other people in their "born gender," which, of course, is perfectly fine. Society, however has set boundaries for genders, and lead people to believe that if they are not manly, they are not men, or vice versa.
In my opinion, men who think they were supposed to be born women are just feminine males who happen to be attracted to the same gender (You're gay). You are just a male who happen to share likes and dislikes of females (defined by society). Same with females who are trans-sexual. I don't think there is a problem with anyone who shares the same tastes and thoughts as the opposite sex, but there is no need to "break out of that body" by having a sex change, because that means changing who they are. You are not a woman. You are a man that thinks like a woman. I think that may be a bad choice of words, but I can't think of anything else that would be fitting. I hope you understand what I mean.
(People who simply like to dress up as the opposite sex are excluded because that is a fetish and in their minds, they are not confused about their gender)
I would not consider dating a trans-sexual even if I were a homo-sexual or bi-sexual because it means having a relationship with someone who is not mentally stable. Maybe someone who is homosexual, but at the same time, are attracted to the physical make-up of the opposing gender can provide a more positive response?
This is my honest opinion and I hope it doesn't offend you.
i wouldn't originally consider dating one, but beliving in true love i wouldn't stop becomming their friends and seeing if friendship grows to something more, which i doubt will be fruitful but i do believe in leaving the door open just in case.
>Most of them say that it's "being trapped in a body of the wrong gender,"
ITT we've spoken to most transsexuals?
I just wish they would stop listing themselves on dating sites as women.
>Honestly, I think that trans-sexual people have a mental disorder.
According to current psychological literature we do (Gender Identity Disorder 302.85)
>men who think they were supposed to be born women are just feminine males who happen to be attracted to the same gender (You're gay)
Well two points here: the first is that in my experience dealing with other transsexuals there are actually two forces that tend to drive someone to transition. One of which is just as you describe, fitting more closely with the role of women (or men, depending) as defined by society. In this regard if you can live looking like a woman and actually pass, it simply makes life easier. A lot of people react badly to men who don't act like men and women who don't act like women. (not that people don't react badly to someone being a transsexual if they know, honestly in regards to how other people treat you its really a no win situation)
The other however is rather different, many (though not all) transsexual people have a psychological need related directly to the body. That is to say, regardless of how well they do or don't fit in with the gender they were born in, many have the irrational feeling that their body is wrong. Most people seem to have a mix of both factors.
None of this changes the idea that it's a mental disorder, something that I honestly agree with you about, I went a long time trying other things and nothing worked. Ultimately everyone has to do what they can to be happy.
>This is my honest opinion and I hope it doesn't offend you.
Nah, it was generally the answer I was expecting out of people and actually phrased more politely than I would have anticipated.
That is a very interesting question . I have alreadly formed my opinion long before though.
See, I am fully against Transexuals. I don't like it, I think it should be banned and be illegal.
Now, I'm no homophobe. If you wanna be gay, if you want to love men and you want men to love you(Vice-versa for females). You are fully welcome to it. I won't hamper you in your efforts to do such and I may even help you. But a person can cross the line with this transexual mess. I'm sorry, as open as I try to be, this is one thing I can't and will never accept. I just find it disgusting on so many levels.
I really do hope I never see transexual rights activists because I will burn 'em at the stake.
To me, public crossdressing is about as disturbing as public nudity, or hideous cosplaying. I saw a "girl" with a blocky face and stubble at my school and I felt thoroughly weirded out. I think homosexuality is great, and taking horomones to assume the gender you "need" is your choice, but I don't want someone who is clearly not female try to pass as one and act as if we are supposed to consider them normal rather than an undercover spy who should be rooted out.
Yes, crossdressers upset my traditional, conservative bounds of what male and female mean. And I'm not claiming that your penis/lack thereof is the only determinant of gender. That's a fallacy: people with male genitals who actually appear and act female (intersexed people, mainly) are totally fine by me. Rather, it's the presence of the costume which ticks me off.
For those of you arguing against all transsexuals, I'd make the argument that the hideous ones aren't representative of the idea in general. Here's a transsexual who looks like a high school teacher of mine who's also about to get a sex change:
http://trannyboi.com/monthbymonth.htm
Both my teacher and this person are not shaking my world. They were androgynous before and now they can resemble their chosen gender.
Also, I've known only one MTF intersexual. I would definitely date her (she got an operation in China and I am totally comfortable calling her female). But I'd have to judge others on a case-by-case basis.
>What is your opinion in general of transsexuals and sex changes?
If it makes them happier then sure, they should change. Doesn't harm others, in my opinion.
>Would you consider dating one?
...Why not? Compare to the immature reaction of: "EWWW I'M NEVER DATING THAT CHICK BECAUSE SHE USED TO HAVE A UNIBROW BEFORE SHE GOT IT LASERED INTO PERMANENTLY TWO". Born females have the advantage of a significantly higher chance of being able to give birth to children (born males: 0; born females: whatever the percent for the number of not infertile women is), but I'm not hung up on that a couple need to be able to reproduce without artificial aids. If you go so far that you want to have a family, there are tons of ways to achieve that, both by various methods that use genes from the parents as well as by adoption.
> What would you consider your sexual orientation to be?
Mindsexual. The human body is the mind's only house and ultimate tool, so how you look does matter that way. A smelly, dirty person with no interest in dressing in flattering ways does not hint good values/personality.
The vast majority of transsexuals stick to keeping their parts and staying their born gender the majority of the time, in my perspective. The only ones that go all the way are usually the gay ones, I think, because they have less to lose. Us, for example, mtf transgendered people, that are gynophilic, but still have the mental transgender disorder, we stay in the closet, more or less, because we can't win. Women think it's weird, or funny, and or a threat. There are a billion horror stories of divorce we've heard a million times before. Lesbians don't want a surprise when you go home with them. Some are hostile and see us a the straight man in disguise trying to oppress them. I think this creates the illusion that most transgender are gay, in addition to the surplus of drag queens, gay men who think it's productive to rehash gay stereotypes (such as the effeminate flamboyant gay man) for fun. Hell those drag queens are what people think transgender people are. I have the nagging feeling that transgender populations along sexual orientation lines lies pretty equal to that of regular gender people. A lot of transgenderism and transsexuality is colored by stereotypes and misconceptions from the straight and gay community. As for SRS, if a person really wants to do it, good luck with them, but hormones and scalpels won't fix everything.
Would I consider dating one? Maybe, I judge women by their personality on a person to person basis.
Androgynous gynophilic, i think is what it's called. I don't identify strongly with being male of female, I already look pretty androgynous, and fit easily in either role. But I like women much better.
>Us, for example, mtf transgendered people, that are gynophilic, but still have the mental transgender disorder, we stay in the closet, more or less, because we can't win.
You can't win because you think like that, I know several transsexual lesbians who are just fine. Honestly it's really not easier for a mtf transsexual who likes men to find a date.
You're right, but personally, I do admit that being transgender is a relatively small issue for me personally. It's other social issues, mainly trust, for me, that's a bigger stumbling block to me. Virtually all my friends, and a limited number of my family knows (two, really).
Also, for me, family is a big issue. When you have extended family members which exocommunicated some inlaws because her daughter in law got pregnant while engaged to marry, due to her staunch conservative Christian views and position as an elder in a Baptist church, discretion weighs very heavily on your mind. It would be a shitstorm if they knew, and it would not be possible to hide a pair of breasts at the family Christmas dinner...and even if the rest are not nearly as fundie, that whole side of the family is rollin' with the Falwell crowd, more or less, and the other side is still conservative (though it leans more towards being new age and esoteric, but they still think gays and the like are deviant).
It's sad, because otherwise, I live in the Bay Area, and there are tons of support. There's even a transgender government official, I think. I'm in the right place, at the right time (that Newsweek article was pretty refreshing), but one thing, the family, fucks everything up. Kind of depressing.
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>>10
You people are clearly disturbed by transsexuals. Good. I hope you spend many moments of every day deeply uncomfortable and creeped out by your revolting, small-minded prejudice. You deserve it. I feel the same way about bigots.
What is your opinion in general of transsexuals and sex changes?
I think it's a very difficult psychological and emotional place to wind up, and not something that anyone who didn't feel profoundly compelled to would choose. I support 'em, and think it is a moral imperative to do the same.
I can't frankly imagine what it must be like, so I'd be lying if I said I could relate, but I'm open minded as a rule and have had some tranny friends.
>Would you consider dating one?
I'm not available. But as a general rule, yeah, if I were single, I'd consider it. I used to live in Thailand, where mtf transsexualism is more common than it is in the West, and met many trans women there (colloquially known as phuying praphet song, or 'second type of women,') I would have dated at least based on looks. Sorry if that's shallow.
> What would you consider your sexual orientation to be?
Basically straight, in a committed hetero relationship and not overtly attracted to men. But at least willing to admit to the bi aspects that the overwhelming majority of men have. Probably a 1.1 on the Kinsey scale.
HI I'M GAY TH3Y SAID TO POST HERE
as a straight male, i would consider dating a MTF if i found her attractive. considering how rare it is for a transexual to actually end up looking the slightest bit feminine, it probably won't happen. but i would consider it, even though i do think that they're most likely going to have a host of other psychological baggage to deal with...
however, i was under the impression that a majority of MTFs post-transition go on to have relationships with lesbian women, any info on that?
This seems pretty unlikely, to me, but there are all kinds of sexualities and genders out there. Most MTF women I've met have been straight (attracted to straight men), although I did know one in college who was dating a bi woman both before and after her transition. A few pre-op/non-op transsexuals I've talked to have expressed discomfort with the fact that they seem to attract a lot of bisexual, or bi-ish, male tranny fetishists, who are specifically interested in their pre-op genitalia (which grosses a lot of true gender dysphorics out).
Re: femininity and attraction; Many Thai transsexuals, being generally small-framed and delicate, look very much like biological women, and pass really well. Not everybody, of course, but more than average. So it's not hard to imagine being attracted to one (which I guess gives me a bit of an Asian fetish, even though I don't have one for biological females).
>however, i was under the impression that a majority of MTFs post-transition go on to have relationships with lesbian women, any info on that?
This isn't the case, there are a lot more MTFs who like women than there are normal women who like women, but the majority of MTFs still like men. An interesting fact, though not an overall rule, is that MTFs attracted to men tend to transition earlier than those who like women. (I'm not sure how this plays out regarding bisexuals.)
>A few pre-op/non-op transsexuals I've talked to have expressed discomfort with the fact that they seem to attract a lot of bisexual, or bi-ish, male tranny fetishists, who are specifically interested in their pre-op genitalia (which grosses a lot of true gender dysphorics out).
This is very true, though it's really not so much the issue of them men being bi as the men being tranny chasers. The principal problems being that a) it's just disturbing to be liked for something that for many transsexuals is horribly disgusting and b) it is typical for fetishists to think of transsexuals as extreme crossdressers and to ultimately consider them men (and thus treat them as such), so the problem touches on the two major motivations of transsexuals (issues with their physical body, and social issues.) An interesting aside to this is that there are a fair number of transsexuals who are also tranny chasers, but other than knowing they exist I don't know much specific about it (and it may at first develope due to it being easier for transsexuals who are early in transition and those who are late in transition and still don't pass well to date other trans people (who have similar issues finding partners))
My opinion in regards to dating a transsexual is that it would be very hard, especially if you wanted to have a family. Bypassing all the other complex issues surrounding this topic having a family, the process of having a pregnancy etc .. is very important to me. I don't think there is anything wrong with being transsexual but it must be even hard trying to find someone who is willing to accept that part of you. In an ideal world gender wouldn't matter because love is love but things aren't so ...