Opinions? Three leads? (12)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-21 18:02 ID:pz6UyK91

Ok, Long story short, I posted a posting on a personals site... A very detailed, frank, honest, and sincere ad, mentioning my interests, etc.... I've gotten three real replies... And I'm not sure how to proceed with them... Hoping I might get some advice from you fellow kind souls here...

(This is a two post entry, continued on 2nd post)

  1. A person who said she's "moving back to this town soon, looking to make some friends", and "thought I might be someone she knew from the area" (I'm not, unfortunately)... She sent a pair of pictures, and I sent two back... However, she took a week & a half to get back to me, and mentioned that she works fulltime, and has classes, but if I wanted to know anything more about her, to feel free to ask...
  2. Someone who goes to school about an hour+ away, but sounded very sincere, sent a long message that showed she actually read all of my posting, and had the same interests, feelings, and whatnot as me, and seemed genuinely looking for the right someone as well... But, she hasn't gotten back to me ever since the initial e-mail... Even though I've resent it twice since...
  3. Someone who's initial e-mail (sent from a disposable "likeslicking" e-mail address) mentioned only "Yay, you're from this area... Wanna swap pics, or we could meet at a wing place on this street if you want... I still replied, and asked if it was a scam, frankly. She replied that it wasn't, and that she was a student at the local college. When I replied that I would like to know more, and asked if she was interested in the same things, why hadn't I seen her at the club at our local collage for those interests, and her response has been: "I'm real busy with classes and working at a bookstore... But are you going to a thing at this local bar/club, because it's been awhile since I've been out to any kind of party"...

2 Name: OP : 2007-09-21 18:10 ID:pz6UyK91

Anywho, here's my opinions at this point:

  1. Someone fairly career driven, who wasn't really looking for a relationship, just looking to see if it was someone she knew... Didn't seem to jump on mentioning anything we had in common... And when it turned out I'm not someone she knew, kind of got disinterested, taking forever to reply, and just wants to be civil...
  2. Someone very sincere, albeit far away... But no responses!! Now, here's a question... A friend suggested I lookup her e-mail on her school's website, which I did. It's a school e-mail account, different from the webmail acct she initially contacted me with... Should I e-mail her there? At first I thought it would be stalker-ish, but I realized that if I'm honest, and admit that I'd hate to not have the opportunity to meet someone as sincere and nice as her because of e-mails not getting through, that doesn't sound near so bad... I think, anyway... After all, she already sent such a nice e-mail, and was definately interested...
  3. A probably party-girl type, not my type... I'm not a party guy, and mentioned that I'm very shy in my posting, but she hasn't really seemed to refer to or have paid any attention to anything from my posting... She hasn't mentioned much about my interests, except to say that she attended the club meeting "once" and got too busy... (I know the heads of the club, and her name was never on the e-mail list that I know of, so I'm suspicious...) I haven't replied to her yet, but I'm not a drinker/partier (said that too in my post), and she seemed to want to know if I was going to some party night at a local bar/nightspot... Not my idea of a great night...

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-21 19:31 ID:YRFXGtw3

  1. You're right, it's not a relationship worth pursuing.
  2. Do not e-mail her there. It will indeed be stalkerish. I doubt she didn't get your e-mail. She might have sounded sincere, but some sort of circumstances have probably changed her mind, which is why she hasn't written back.
  3. This is your best bet. Change your outlook on life and you can be happy with this girl.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-21 22:17 ID:RG8qBpnq

  1. Don't bother. Or rather, if she shows interests again, go for it. but only as far as she shows interests.
  2. Don't you dare email her there. If she doesn't email you back after you emailed her twice, forget her and put yourself more into other chicks.

3.If you aren't a party type. You aren't a party type. I'm the same, and I have no plans to change myself to fit the norm. I don't agree with 3. If you need to change to get a certain girl, don't even bother. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't give this a shot. Just talk to her a bit, and offer your own suggestions for a fun time.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-22 04:06 ID:gJsrt3Ne

I think you should just try and look for other girls.. if you got three so far, surely there'll be more who may be interested.
Btw.. if you don't mind me asking, what personals site are you using?

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-22 05:09 ID:qbfREpjq

You really can't tell much from initial responses. Everyone seems nice at first.

  1. "thought I might be someone she knew from the area" Bullshit.
  2. Use readnotify.com to see if she is ignoring the e-mail.
  3. Maybe a scam, maybe not. If she wants to get together for drinks in an hour the both of you will work things out pretty quickly. If not, she'd be crazy to reply with her real e-mail.

In all cases meet in a public place and you Can sort out in an hour what'd take 6 months of exchanging e-mail or asking people here.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-22 12:23 ID:FHi9i/V+

From a girl's perspective, none of these sound like chances worth pursing.

  1. You are half right. She definitely is disinterested and is just being civil to you. The full time classes thing is just an excuse. If she was really interested after the pictures, she would make time.
  2. Something closer to home's probably come up for her. Don't email her, it will pester her more than anything. If she hasn't replied by now, then chances are she won't respond kindly to your "persistence".
  3. Sounds like she's just playing with you and is trying to see how far she can bullshit her way through this. Besides, even if she was being genuine, she doesn't really seem responsive to you does she? "I'm not a drinker" "Heeeeey. You going to the pub next week?" Either really tacky, or she's a scam.

8 Post deleted by moderator.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-23 17:37 ID:QKMDYAc4

my impressions:

  1. She's too busy to pursue anything, you'll end up contributing 100% of the effort
  2. She found someone else
  3. She'll drug you and steal your kidneys

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-23 17:58 ID:F5oZ9UTk

roflroflrolforlforlforlforlfrolforlf

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-24 05:56 ID:PMcY0d80

99% of posts to 4-ch are people looking for anons to tell there's still hope in a hopeless situation that isn't worth the effort anyway

12 Name: OP : 2007-09-24 13:19 ID:pz6UyK91

Good news, but I put it at the bottom; Comments first, credits where credit's due;

>>several posters - Thanks for the comments, it helped solidify what I was thinking myself, and what my friends were also suggesting, as their reactions were the same;

>>11 "Support" is what we call that around here... If people just gave up when the general populace said it couldn't be done, mankind wouldn't be anywhere today... Here, it's called asking for suggestions or advice, and sometimes the best advice comes from people you don't know irl, who can be as honest as they feel in their opinions on your situation...

Anyway... Just thought I'd update folks on where I'm at, and my opinions at this point:

  1. Nothing back since I responded w/ "tell me anything you feel like telling me" this past Tuesday... I think this one's a dead cause... Just a curious person, looking for an old classmate;
  2. I... was going to go against everyone's advice and e-mail her real address... A friend suggested I just say it was her idea, when I send it to her...

But... I didn't have to! She e-mailed yesterday! Said she'd been dealing with Spyware problems, and hadn't been able to properly use her computer, and that she was really tired from also trying to do a lot of online school work...

She said she was really exhausted from staying up all night working on school work, so hoped I wasn't offended and wanted to "step back & let me take over the "direction" of our e-mail conversation:)", followed by "I really hope to hear from you soon,"

I've got to work up a suitable reply today, but talk about a save in the nick of time before I had to do something I wasn't comfortable with!

3... I did some looking around online, and found what could be her, but if it is, she seems like far more of a drinker/party person than I'm into... My friends don't think it's her, but at least on the plus side, I mentioned not knowing about the event at the bar she asked if I was going to, and haven't heard back yet... I also... kind of put her on the spot in my e-mail, asking "out of curiosity, what made you respond to my posting online", so maybe I'll get more this time than just a name and "wanna swap pix"...

Right now, I'm beyond happy that #2 replied to me, and while sounding exhausted, seemed genuinely interested in hearing back from me (and I suspect that the "I'll let you take over the direction of our e-mail conversation" translates into... If you're not into me, or already found someone, that's ok, just say it...) (I assume, anyway)

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