confused about relationships and love (10)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-22 02:45 ID:DgYky1ul

many say they are in love with people they barely know anything about. that confuses me, since love is a deep and profound affection. how can someone feel that about a person they don't know well, or at all?

and many say that relationships are about love, but would leave someone they loved if things were too difficult - like if they had a bad, overprotective family

and not only that, but they often have a great amount of relationships, most which don't last long.

i'm confused, because to me that doesn't seem like love at all. probably i just misunderstand. can you explain?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-22 02:48 ID:DgYky1ul

in addition, often people are only friends with a person - or only get to know a person - because of their "love"

this only confuses me more

3 Name: batman : 2007-10-22 05:07 ID:Ms/9Di66

I see more nerdy guys than girls do the whole "loving from afar" thing

It is hard to say if they really love that person. Most likely they just love things about that person. But I guess it is possible to love someone's personality if you observe them enough and for long enough.

Personally, I think a person should try to make a move before it gets that far because they are setting themselves up to get hurt. They've already invested a lot of emotion into someone that may not even know they are alive yet.

As for leaving someone you love, well sometimes you have to put yourself first. But on the other hand, a lot of people really are not as romantic as they say they are, and do not put love first when things actually get hard. There is also peer pressure that says young relationships never work, so people just let go of them, assuming that the relationship was never going to work in the first place.

Relationships that don't last long could be because of anything. Maybe the two people just had a crush, or maybe it was just lust or infatuation. Maybe two people end up not liking each other. maybe one person falls in love with someone else. This tends to more a problem with young people that have no idea what they want and are immature.

as for the friend thing, yeah a lot of people do that. A lot of people are not good at getting into romantic relationships and try to get into them the same way they get into friendships. If the other person does not mind dating friends, it isn't really a problem. If the other person has trouble dating people that are friends, then it can become a problem. I wouldn't worry too much about if people are being your friend for that reason. They most likely are not pretending to be your friend to get in your pants They probably just want to get to know you better and care about you, and being a freind is a way to do both. However, if they do make it apparent that they want to date, please be upfront and let them know the truth. If you do not want to date them becuase you do not find them attractive, let them know. Don't say "just freinds." If you are not clear what you want, they will think they have a chance and might become a pest and end up ruining your friendship with them. No one wants that.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-22 05:31 ID:8dCCdZmX

It's just people throwing around with words.

Real love is just developing over time. Like with friendship. You just realize how really dear a friend can be to you when you went through good and bad times, same goes for love in a relationship.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-22 06:49 ID:Ht6WV+Ar

love means different things to different people,...

Actually love has different meanings for the same people, same relationship but over time. It's a very general word.

The fact that people don't know well each other at the beginning of a relationship does not prevent them from having feelings about one another, and call it love.

6 Name: anon : 2007-10-22 15:49 ID:tdMnh9oB

sounds to me like these people OP speaks about are mistaking love for lust.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-22 16:26 ID:TnR4m7vu

Many people mistake lust/infatuation with love. They think they're in love but it's really infatuation or lust.

Thats why so many relationships end. The initial spark only lasts so long. Once it does they think that something is wrong with the other or they dont love them anymore. But it's merely that they're not infatuated with them anymore.

If they were truly in love that love would keep them together. They wouldnt part just because the stupid, "teehee I am crushing on him" feeling disappeared.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-22 17:15 ID:a4hRy5hf

>>7

Your defenition does not work, because it's circular. Basically you say infatuation is short-term feelings, and love is long-term feelings.

If this is so, then love is just infatuation which survived, and the only way to know if one loves or infatuates is to see how long it lasts,...

9 Name: Mr Write : 2011-01-20 05:46 ID:Heaven

Heh.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-11-03 01:27 ID:Heaven

>>9
I see you!

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