So on last friday, my girlfriend broke up with me. However, she still likes me a lot, and I still love her, so we're still going to be friends, just not dating.
I spent the weekend scoping things out, and it may be that sometime in the future, she may indeed decide to go out with me again. She has already told me that she will miss me a lot, and so on.
My main question is, when should I approach her with this question? Based on the nature of my offences which caused her to leave me (without spending too much time on the 'why', the main reason being a few former bad habits of mine), this would not be any time soon. The way I see things, my options are: Around Christmas, Around New Years, or on what would have been our one-year anniversary, on February 18t, or some other day.
Suggestions?
Question, why exactly did she break up with you? And if she did, why does she still love you... or saying she loves you.
If I was you, I'd just move on. or stop letting her play that mind game on you.
I fucking hate when women tell you some nonsense bullshit like that. I suggest you to move on OP
OP here.
Multiple reasons. A few weeks ago, I apparently was a jerk towards her friend, and then I also tend to over-worry about things, such as when she's with other guys. She's also a bit tired of some of my habits, apparently, I kiss her too much. Things like that. Of course, it's a longer story, but that's the jist of it. No cheating or drugs or other such things.
At first, she had given me a reluctant second chance, but then she just kind of re-considered, and left me. No surprise though, so it wasn't too terrible. The second chance involved me fixing the habits. Both while I thought it would save things, also, they're mostly habits which would annoy most girls, so they should be addressed.
I don't know why she still loves me, the ways of gods, government and girls are all mysterious to me. However, she admits that she does not love me as much as she used to. To put it as she said it, her love was fading. To 55% of the original love.
However, when I asked her whether or not it could be halted/reversed, she also said that that was only at that point in time, and said that maybe with time, it may be better. And she also said that she's going to miss me, which I took at the time to imply she still does.
Maybe I'm just too hopefull though, and letting myself get caught up by this, and/or mis-interpreting things.
And as to the suggestions of moving on, I certainly have thought about that, and won't let opportunities pass me by, or let myself get held up by this, but I really do love her, and I am reluctant to just give up so easily. And as mentioned, she still does love me, just, less at the moment. So she says, anyways. And she never said that she wouldn't at some point in the future re-consider me, and to be honest, this may just be a pro-longed break, under the guise of a break-up. Time away from each other, to focus on other things.
I can agree, mate.
You have not demonstrated you're an alpha male. You were too nice to her, and too desperate. You weren't challenging her, and since she probably has low self-esteem, she needed to make herself feel worthwhile to someone who obviously didn't give a shit about her. That means she's found someone else.
The same thing that has happened to you, happened to me. She's just keeping you around in case the new guy(s) she's hooked up with don't work out. You're being kept in her proverbial closet so she can dust you off when she's bored.
Learn from this and move on, friend. I know it hurts. I lost the most beautiful girl I'll ever have in my life... she was fit, blonde with huge tits, 18 years old, and I'm a fat ugly balding 21 year old college dropout.
If you just can't get her out of your system, here's what you do. Eventually the faggot she's seeing now will cheat on her and she'll be all BAWWWW about it, and she'll be available one day. You have to be so cool and suave and demonstrate that you could care less about seeing her that she'll feel she has a new superior to demonstrate her worth to. It's tricky, but it can be done... there's more luck than anything to it, probably. In any case, don't hold your breath.
My final advice is to just do your best to put her past you and move on. Not what you wanna hear, I know, and for the record, I'm not able to do it either - I'm heart-broken. But do the best you can man... she's not going to lose any sleep over it, so you shouldn't either.
Well, it IS true she told me to be more of a 'guy', but then, she didn't like how that turned out, and changed her mind. Because you are right, mate, I'm not so much of the -alpha male- type.
However, I don't think she's found someone else...yet. I could count all her friends with one hand and change, and all male friends one two, three fingers. Close friends, that is. Also, I'm counting myself there. I don't think she's the type for the other guy, and the converse is true, too. We go to the same school, y'see. So in short, I would sort of know, and it's not the case, yet.
Also, I still talk to her, we're still close, and good mates, so I think she'd tell me.
Also, about the "not alpha male/desparate" thing, she knew me for 5, 6 years before SHE approached ME about going out. I wouldn't have...and while she does have self-esteem problems, they're related to her very best friend (they are VERY alike, and always compete), so I'd think that she'd have known that I'm not the -alpha male- type. And thus, she shouldn't have been surprised/disappointed, or shouldn't have approached me. I've loved her a long time, but she may not have known, and I'm too shy, I'd never have approached her.
Thanks for your advice though, >>6. I'll try to keep all that in mind...