A month ago I met a girl in class, she is new in the country, I had an instant crush on her. I'm very shy, or was, but unexpectedly I started talking with her, at first I liked her for the way she looks, later when I started knowing I really started to like more and more.
We usually go and come from class together because we live near, so we talk and play some video games in the train, and sit together in class.
I invited her to cinema the first week we met, all went more or less ok, the next week some odd things happened and I confessed that I like her, then she told me that she don't want anything with anyone right now, even less if we are studying in the same place. I told her that nothing happens, that we can be friends.
Since then se act a bit different with me, she doesn't want to hang out if we have to go alone, only if some one else come, but if we need to do some classwork she doesn't have problems coming to my house or I going to her.
The next week we have to do a work, I will go to her house, and we will be alone there all the day, I like the idea of being with her, doing the work, playing some games and chatting, but...
I feel so in love with her, she is so nice and beautiful, but I can't show it because don't want to lose her friendship, and usually I don't know what to say, because I don't want to say something that isn't ok. And I just can't stop this feeling.
What should I do? Any advise?
>>I started talking with her
Good.
>>I invited her to cinema the first week we met
Good.
>>I confessed that I like her
Okay....
>>I told her that nothing happens, that we can be friends.
WRONG
You were doing pretty good until the confession. As soon as you dropped that on her, she clamped up. That's why she's nervous about being alone with you. She's not attracted to you (YET) and is trying to put a distance between you two. Going out in groups means she can focus on other people. Doing homework together means she can focus on the homework.
Get yourself out of the friend zone before its too late. Start acting like a love interest rather than a friend. Being friends with a girl means you can get close but can't touch, and that sucks. It sets you up for disappointment.
Don't hang out with her every day (friends do that, not love interests) compliment her, flirt with her, try asking her out again. Keep trying to win her over until she confronts you about it and tells you to stop. If you show her your determination, you'll have a chance. On the other hand, if it doesn't work out and she has no interest in you even after all that, oh well. There are more girls out there and not every one of them is compatible with you.
Good luck and keep us updated!
Isn't it better to just ask a girl out rather than suggest (or flat out say) that you like her? And then let things flow along naturally? There's a point where even the most naive person will realize what another person thinks of them, and will take action accordingly.
where do you live OP? she sounds like someone i know...
>>Get yourself out of the friend zone before its too late.
I know I should. But how? I will try with your advise, flirting, compliment and all that.
>>Isn't it better to just ask a girl out rather than suggest (or flat out say) that you like her?
Yes, I learned it the hard way but what is done is done.
>>where do you live OP? she sounds like someone i know...
I will not tell where I live, don't want to give so much information. But you can tell me the first name or one surname and I will tell you if is her. I wouldn't be surprised. ;P
i think you just scared her or she finds you gross.
like i hooked up with this guy who was my best friends BOYFRIENDS best mate... woahhhh.
anyway i didnt want to go to her house for a while because i knew that shed have her boyfriend there and where he is so is his bestfriend.. who i didnt want to see again.
i know its kind of different sittuation but the emotions are the same...
FREAKING OUT. i was unsure.
eventually i broke though and hanged out with him like normal but because i knew that he wanted to hook up more i didnt want to be around him because there was a major fear of needing to reject him.
maybe shed rather not see you than upset you.
i dont know her personally so i cant completely judge acurately.. but i think just call her and make a meeting plan and chat casually abo0ut ANYTHING.. like christmas time, let her talk about HERSELF try and let her talk about HERSELF, people always like to talk about them, me me me me i i i i .. its the best way to make someone feel like they had a good conversation with you, even if they did all the talking. :)
if you make her feel comfortable through a conversation thennn she might feel comfortable seeing you again. and more frequently. :)
and if this you liking her thing comes up again, just LIE be like, "ive never had a female friend as good to me as you and well i just got my emotions mixed up, i think it was just pure appreciation, im so sorry for making that mistake and telling you the wrong fact, the right fact is that youre an amazing friend and i thought i liked you because i always want to HANG OUT with you because we have so much fun together"
something american bullox like that. :)
im so bored, so i babble.. hahaaa.
take care. x
Hi again people,
some weeks have passed and things are a bit better I think. We have been doing the work together in home and chatting a lot.
The other day she had to pay me something that I bought for her because she told me and when she asked my for the price to give me the money I told her 'The price is an invite to the cinema', and she told that we will go. So we have a 'date' this weekend. I will go with her to the cinema and later to a restaurant that have the kind of food that she likes.
I don't know if we should go alone or bring some friends that I already introduced to her.
And before all that maybe we go shopping clothes and shoes for her.
Sounds like you need to read a few dating guides. I'll let you research that on your own but I'll give you a few tips.
-NO GROUP DATES. It is YOU and the GIRL and NOBODY ELSE. Group dates are only when you've got a long established relationship.
-I wouldn't recommend clothes shopping. That's something she can do with her friends on her own time. If she suggests it just point that out and suggest something else.
-Movie isn't too bad, it gives you something to talk about, at least. Focus on the restaurant, let her do most of the talking. Ask questions, maintain eye contact, make a few wisecracks.