THE SITTUATION: there is a guy.
He is agressive and gets angry, but at the same time he is extremely soft, caring and protective of me.
The main issue is that we are both agressive and big headed, so arguments become more frequent over pitty situations because no one wants to loose and we both persist, ive now learnt to stand down alot more than i used to, too help keep peace.
He is more easily aggitated than i am but its the times when he holds me that keep me around, considering %80 of the time we are all smiles!
My mom loves him and thinks he is great, but i HATE confronting him, even when he is wrong.
HE WOULD NEVER HIT ME (so dont worry about that)
but i really need, or would like, some advice on how to confront him or speak up (from a guys point of view) WITHOUT him puffing up and cracking the shits at me.
How do i say it the right way?
Guys are hard to argue with because we play by a different set of rules. But we defend ourselves to our last dying breath even when we KNOW we're wrong, because we hate admitting we messed up. Yes, we're trying to save face, but we're also trying to please the girl. If we admit we're wrong, we admit we didn't please her.
So when you do argue, don't rail on him for making bad choices (most of the time, he knows he did) And while its important to choose your battles, and let petty things slide, don't submit or let him win every time.
If you need to confront him about something, choose a calm moment. It's more likely than not he'll clamp up about the subject, but to get it out of him you have to lay yourself out first. And most importantly, stay calm. Any sign of stress from you, he's going to show it twice as much.
>>2 hit the nail on the head.
Just coyly play it off with a little dash of good sarcasm - Not enough to set him off, but just enough to send the message across - "I know you're wrong, but it's OK, I'll play along"
I don't know about him, but I'd go nuts (in the good way) if that happened regularly; Just keep a light touch on the sarcasm, instead of delving into the bitter and angry forms of sarcasm.