My original post was made without reading the entire thread - seems all right in context, but I have to comment on one thing:
Not going to quote the whole thing, but:
>friendlily encourage me to get away from the computer and see the world I'm missing out on. To "travel the roads of life", as she puts it. I think she's right, I should.
sorta stood out at me. Perhaps a lot of this is rooted in a desire to change but you feel you need to invent a personality in order to propel you toward that change. As children our guiding influence is typically our parents, and as adults we'd like to believe that a partner can open our eyes, so to speak, much more than anyone else could. Isn't my call to make, not a psychiatrist or therapist and I know very little about you or your situation, but it does seem like you want to become a more outward person but you feel you need someone to give you a push. Then again, could just be absent-minded crystal balling on my part.
>Well, I'll take that as all the more reason to carefully distinguish fiction from reality, and not to take my dreams as seriously as I usually do. (But without discarding them altogether.)
That's the right way to do it. You don't have to abandon your imagination - it's just unhealthy to create a surrogate. We all have fantasies, but if we take them too far, we often end up hurting our chances to make them reality.
>Frankly I kind of had the impression you people are good enough advisors to help me sort this out.
Not really. You owe it to yourself to at least get a third opinion on this from a professional (read: someone who knows what they're talking about). You're doubting whether the way things are working out is really the way it should be, which is good (willing to make any major change is good, period), but we can't really say objectively one way or the other here.
It's not really the typical "girl said X, should I say Y" kind of question. A therapist may even be able to help you with your problems in understanding others. I'm hesitant to say "oh gee you should go out and get a real girlfriend!! lol!!" because that would be irresponsible, but this should be a wake up call that the status quo may make you happy but it may not necessarily be healthy.
Finally, if you do take the suggestion and you're nervous about it not being the intertubes, just write up what you're going to say somehow! Nobody would even care if you strolled in and had written down everything you wanted to ask about verbatim right from that paper. In honesty, you are keeping it much less of a secret by posting it on the Internet than seeing a therapist or what have you, because nothing you say will ever leave that room.
Whatever you choose to do, it's a good thing that you are at least willing to question your current situation and make changes. Too many people would prefer to not acknowledge their doubts - it's the whole "if I pretend it's not there, it's not there" fallacy.
Hope this didn't sound too condescending, but it's my belief that when it comes to the mind, very little is without cause. Perhaps this is a wake-up call to, as you noted, travel the roads of life. If "Vanessa" can motivate you, you can motivate you. Good luck.