>>39
>>40
First of all, thank you so much for reacting. You seem to know what you're talking about, and I'm happy to hear your opinions on the matter. But I think I need to clarify some things.

Point by point:

>Daydreamer, this is a /love/ issue, as far as I see it, rather than a /personal/

That's good.

>Your comments about having a rational and emotive part aren't so much what seems different about you, it's your thinking of things as separate entities that is unusual. Your ability to distance yourself from your own thoughts is something I haven't encountered before. It could potentially make you a good writer.

I see. That's interesting.

>About "Vanessa", I do think that you're relying on "her" as your Mode of reality, rather than a part of your reality. In other words, I do believe that you recognize her as not real/illusory, but have so long been int eh position of thinking about her/utilizing her as a tool that you're afraid, uncertain, or both of leaving "her" behind because the idea of experiencing life with her has been your routine.

This once was true, but I don't think it's the case at present.
I have had one other imaginary lover before, that I had the kind of trouble letting go of that you describe. After breaking up with her, I've been "single" for a few months without any trouble, until I started feeling ronery again and decided to think up Vanessa, less than a year ago now.
For that first girl, I was incredibly dogmatic about absolutely never leaving her. I felt like a traitor to her to even think about the faintest possibility. I kept this going for four years or so.
My present imaginary relationship is much more casual. The existence of this thread should illustrate that; if I'd had more reactions saying "no, it's unhealthy, you should end it now", I don't think I'd have had trouble doing so. The only problem I'd probably have with it would be that in time I would start feeling lonely again.

>As a psych student, I have to say that this is not a healthy thing. While there may be benefits to dreaming of communication and having "her" push you to doing things you believe that you should, they're not likely to be any better than simply rehearsing potential conversations with others and pushing yourself. I think that this imaginary projection adds a negative, though, which is the ease of the situation. This isn't to say that you'll always be afraid to approach others because you think of an imaginary friend, but that you've become comfortable with a certain way of communicating and thinking about social interaction. Real life interactions may be, and likely are, more complex, and it may be easy to wish to simply push them aside and stick with your false reality.

A good point, albeit mentioned before. The way things go in daydreams and in the real world are rather different, and I shouldn't confuse reality and fiction.
But do you think it would suffice to just keep this in mind and see to it that I don't lose my grip on reality, or should I stop having imaginary friends altogether?

[To be continued...]