First of all, thank you for your quick advice, /love/. :)
So, you're saying I should try to find a compromise of sorts, by cherishing my fictional love while still being open to the possibility of finding love in real life.
While this seems a sensible solution, I'm afraid there's a problem to it. You see, while I acknowledge that my imaginary lover is not real, I do think of her as an actual person. (George Orwell would call that kind of apparent contradiction "doublethinking", holding contradictory beliefs while accepting both of them in some way.)
As such, by still hoping to find a real girl to replace her one day, I'd feel like I'm betraying her. I'd feel guilty to think of her as a disposable lover. And by only using her to channel my romantic feelings whenever I want to, she would become a tool to me rather than a person.
Maybe that's where I am mixing fiction with reality too much. Maybe I'm going too far if I'm concerned about hurting the feelings of someone who doesn't exist.
>You say you are not an escapist, but I think this is a way of escapism. Not that it's bad, really - people need that, in a form or another.
I suppose you're right. I am a bit of an escapist. But at least controlledly so. :) Or maybe "escapist" wasn't really the right word there.
>You probably have a great imagination and it's good if you're mature about it.
Funny that you should mention maturity. Maturity is actually one of the reasons why this worries me somewhat. Isn't it a bit immature to, well, feel connections to people who don't really exist?
>No, what the problem really is is that someday, you might meet someone who hits too close to what you're imaginating. And there's quite a chance that nothing will happen between you and her, because, well, that's how life is.
>I'm afraid that if your "dream girl" constitutes your whole way of canalizing your romantic feelings, that day will literally crush you - because it will break your heart in the 'real' world, but also because it will render your illusion quite pale and dim.
The real thing would render the illusion pale and dim?
Maybe that's true. I could imagine that being true. But until now, another worry of me was that the opposite might happen; being used to an ideal but fictional lover, any real girl would pale in comparison.
But now that you mention it, maybe a real girl could also be awesome in surprising ways that I would never have thought of myself. And, of course, the real world is always a more convincing experience than any daydream could ever be, if only because unexpected things can happen and it doesn't require as much thinking.