Smarts (40)

1 Name: Slow guy : 2008-04-12 00:09 ID:04Jnb81Z

Recently I've realized that my girlfriend is way smarter than she pretends to be. It then dawned on me that she only acts stupid around me... and probably just to make me feel that I am smarter than her, as most guys feel. It's not the trying-to-be-cute stupid, she just pretends she doesn't know anything and acts likea simpleton.

There's never been a situation she couldn't think her way out of, she's secretly better at mathematics than I am. And her majoring in physics at univesity kind of adds on to the fact that she's not a dumbass.

She probably knows that she's way smarter than me.

I know this shouldn't but, why does this bother me so much?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-12 00:40 ID:XbsI47pR

How exactly does she act stupid? Can you give an example?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-12 01:46 ID:979RCM6S

>>1

Would you prefer if she just shows how smart she is so she shades you? I believe she's doing it for you. Just let her know your ok with her being smarter than you.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-12 02:23 ID:jVmTS3ZC

>>3
yeah, but I don't think I am okay with it, honestly.

>>2
She'll just start the stupidest conversations. Or pretend she doesn't know what I'm talking about sometimes.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-12 03:26 ID:GQ1b5jYz

Dump her

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-12 04:58 ID:vPC2Vahr

>>1

I think your inferiority in this relationship comes from the fact that you can't accept her the way she is. She did accept you the way you are and loves you so much that she does what she is doing. I am gifted myself but don't ever view girls I like through their intelligence for solving complex scientific problems :) I'd say stop tiring your brain with stupid things like this and enjoy her love, because you truly are a lucky guy. She doesn't expect you to solve mathematical mysteries for her, but she will want your babies someday :)

Shut up, cool down and LOVE HER, my dumbuddy :) That's all that matters!

>>5
Was that jelaousy? :)

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-12 06:52 ID:7ZwIgpSy

>>6

You're not special here. Are you new to the internet?

>>1

Dump her.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-12 07:21 ID:GQ1b5jYz

>>6
Was that faggotry?

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-12 08:15 ID:SXKtFYe1

Maybe you're smarter than she thinks, too. She probably didn't expect you to notice she's playing dumb. I've had problems with guys myself because of my intelligence, and this girl sounds significantly smarter than me, so almost definitely she's had them too. So she's probably learnt that toning down her intelligence is important if she doesn't want to drive boyfriends away, or something. You shouldn't be angry with her, really.
But, the only thing I imagine would be more annoying than your partner being smarter than you, would be if they insulted you by pretending not to be. Realising something like that, i'm sure, would make her intelligence seem much more annoying than it normally would be. So I thik you should just let her know that you're aware of what she's doing and that you don't like it, and give it some time. Maybe you'll become less annoyed by it as time goes on.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-12 08:41 ID:3TqnJX3B

Acknowledge that you know she's smarter than you, but don't exactly confront her about it.

Like, ask her to explain physics related stuff, about her favorite subjects, etc.

Or dump her.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-12 10:15 ID:cyd6uBDU

Maybe she likes the time she spends with you because she can relax without having to live up to constant expectations of intelligence that she gets in class etc.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-13 03:10 ID:vPC2Vahr

>>7

lolol i've been new to internet for 10 years or so... c'mon aren't you just a tiny bit jelaous ?? lol

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-13 03:11 ID:vPC2Vahr

>>8

of course it was... although it works with women, so consider me a fag in that case...

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-13 03:13 ID:vPC2Vahr

lol why everybody wants him to dump her?? Is it me, or other guys have problems accepting chicks' intelligence. Btw, I am a guy too and I don't have a slightest problem with that.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-13 03:27 ID:Heaven

>>8
Counting ":)" occurences in >>6 -- 4
Number of paragraphs -- 3 (well, let's say 3)

Ratio :)/paragraphs is superior to 1. Faggotry confirmed.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-13 04:03 ID:GQ1b5jYz

>>14
Stop pretending to be a feminist.

This isn't about accepting her "intelligence", it's about her pretending to be an idiot, as to not make her boyfriend feel like a retard.

Fuck off.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-14 02:52 ID:vPC2Vahr

>>15
hhahahahha it's so funny how you analyze my posts to confirm my "faggotry". Are you completely sure you're hetero? If smileys mean that I am a fag, then yes I am. I think OP's girl would have much harder time pretending around you. I am sorry you have issues...

>>16

I am not a feminist. And I won't fuck off since I didn't fuck on either. Now read your statement once again and see how intelligent you are.

"This isn't about accepting her "intelligence", it's about her pretending to be an idiot, as to not make her boyfriend feel like a retard."

Ever heard of IMPLICATION???

I am simply amazed by guys like >>15 and >>16, always behind their macho curtain. Want some baby oil, you two? It's always good time for wrestling.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-14 02:58 ID:vPC2Vahr

No, seriously I am addicted to using ":)" and lolz... Ok, I am out to smoke a fag...

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-14 04:31 ID:Heaven

>>17

you're not entertaining anymore

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-14 21:34 ID:Heaven

>>19

Neither are you

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-15 01:35 ID:vPC2Vahr

>>20

You talking to yourself now?

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-15 02:27 ID:XbsI47pR

Let's get back to helping >>1, shall we? We don't want this thread turning into something it's not supposed to be.

It probably bothers you a lot because she's not being completely honest with herself around you. Like >>9 says, for some reason a lot of guys just stop liking a girl just because she seems smarter than they are. She probably thinks you're doing the same thing, and the fact that it bothers you might add to her insecurity. If you're more than sure that she is truly pretending, then I think you should just confront her about it, and maybe tell her than you're okay with her just being her normal, incredibly intelligent self.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-15 05:38 ID:ULrtoVBb

I agree with >>22.
Best possible solution. After all, you want to get to know her for who she is, right? not a dumbed-down version. It's best to be honest with her. Let her know it does bother you a bit, too, and give it some time.

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-15 06:00 ID:GQ1b5jYz

If she knew you well then she wouldn't be acting like a dumb bitch.

Dump her.

25 Name: sdfj90 : 2008-04-16 02:37 ID:Z0umQ3i2

I agree with >>22 and >>23.
Just let her know how you feel. Shouldn't a relationship about being honest to each other and cares?

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-16 05:24 ID:Heaven

>>25

If she's really that much smarter than him, a talk isn't going to do much but make her pretend to be a little smarter to appease him.

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-17 21:09 ID:47ddubNR

waaaah so she is smart. big effin deal. intelligence is attractive. so what if she is smarter than you. she is still with you. if she found you too stupid for her to keep loving you then she would have ended it long ago. dont let it bother you and enjoy the relationship.

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-17 23:48 ID:dXLhocTe

how 'bout this: u try bein' a smartass in front of her 4 a day (try bein' smart on her on different subjects) and she how she feels. Then maybe she'll actually stop bein' stupid and actually go back 2 herself

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-17 23:57 ID:XbsI47pR

That's a guaranteed breakup...

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-18 05:27 ID:7ZwIgpSy

>>28

That won't work and you know it.

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-18 07:04 ID:GQ1b5jYz

Just hit her.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-18 07:44 ID:Smg3/tPi

How much of a problem is it for a girl to be smarter than her boyfriend? Does this bother many guys, and how much? Would I be better off aiming to go out with men who are smarter than me?

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-18 09:34 ID:Heaven

>>32

Er, no. It doesn't exactly bother me personally if a girl is... "smarter" (this is highly subjective), as it gives me a chance to learn with someone. And learning is always fun. It also means that she will have a rich fantasy life, which if she chooses to reveal, would be very interesting to experience. But that's me. I think most other guys do find it disturbing that because their girlfriends may be better in a subject, it makes them smarter, and consequently they fear being constantly evaluated. This is by no means false, yet it can be easily overcome and reasoned with.

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-18 12:14 ID:Heaven

>>32

It doesn't bother me either, but I must confess I've found this to be quite rare indeed - but that's probably me. I do enjoy girls that are highly qualified in domains that are unknown to me, as like >>33 said it would give me a chance to learn. This also means the person has to enjoy transmitting knowledge; I like when it works on an 'exchange' basis.

That said, girls that are superior to the average intellectually, and specifically on the linguistic/cultural/rhetorical points, are a HUGE turn-on for me. I love not being sure who leads the conversation, having a real feeling of (friendly) sparring when talking with someone. So I guess she should not be on a really higher ground so the 'duel' would be more even. But that's probably because I'm so used in leading conversations.

Anyway, remember that there are LOTS of types of intelligence, so you're probably smarter than some on some points and inferior on others. Some people have strong language skills, but poor logical thinking; some are highly cultured but have poor reasoning; some would be great thinkers weren't they so close-minded. So might just seem stupid, but are really intelligent emotionally speaking, while really smart people might be poor on that side.

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-18 22:55 ID:H0kLh0Sk

have u at least expressed this 2 her b4? does she kno this bothers u?

36 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-18 23:54 ID:GQ1b5jYz

This isn't about being bothered that she's smarter, it's about her acting like a retard because she thinks her boyfriend is one.

Get it right.

37 Name: Slow guy : 2008-04-19 00:06 ID:04Jnb81Z

>>35
How do you explain that to someone exactly?
"oh hey, um I don't like the fact that you're smarter than me." ??

38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-19 00:18 ID:Heaven

>>36

It's clearly about her being smarter if she's confusing him with her intelligence.

Or, it's the way you make it, if we switch the terms around. Same thing.

39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-19 01:28 ID:GQ1b5jYz

>>38
Where did he say that she was confusing him?

40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-20 23:30 ID:Heaven

>>39
From >>1

>Recently I've realized that my girlfriend is way smarter than she pretends to be.

Clearly this followed a rationalization process in which OP weighed the possibilities of whether or not he was being lied to about her intelligence before having made the decision that she was. The 'realization', being a more concrete state than a 'notion' or 'suspicion', is founded upon the less steady states, namely things synonymous to notion and suspicion. Obviously, discovery is precluded by confusion, since it is impossible to always be 100% sure that option A is better or worse (more factual or less factual, for scientific formality) than option B.

So, OP was at once confused about the course of his relationship, which last time I heard was with the same girl who pretended to be dumber than she is.

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