No desperate situations or horribly entangled feelings in this thread, just some light-hearted discussion about something I'm curious about.
So, what do you look for in a lover? What makes you love someone?
Please specify your gender and sexual orientation when replying, or at least the gender of the person you're looking for.
In my case:
I'm a dude who's into girls, but I haven't been really in love for ages. (I've felt sincerely in love with an imaginary girl from my daydreams, but I'm still not sure if that's really the same thing.)
At this point I think the most important trait of a girl would be that she could fall for someone like me. It would be best if she would want a mild-mannered guy, someone sweet and romantic. She should be open-minded to odd and a bit childish habits and quirks (think of not wanting to step on the lines in the pavement), and maybe even consider them cute.
She should also be a sweet person, kind and friendly. Which doesn't at all mean she has to be shy and timid, and can't also be spirited and optimistically daring.
Where style is concerned, it would work in her favour if she'd prefer dresses and long skirts to pants, and sturdy, comfortable shoes to sandal-like, high-heeled monstrosities. She should be feminine, but not in the American bimbo sense. Modesty is definitely a virtue there. And I think a cosy sweater looks so much more attractive than a small top showing a lot of cleavage.
It would probably also be an advantage if she'd be just as new to romance and sexuality as me.
If I would find and get to know someone like that in the real world, I think it would work out with us. :)
>>45
Curly hair is hot.
>>44
lol?
also you got my number, bite me
What do I look for? It doesn't work that way for me. All the girls I've ever fallen for have first fallen for me, and made me notice them. It's been all kinds of persons and looks, what makes me care for them is that they care for me, everything else is irrelevant. I can adjust to, and put up with just about anything, and I can learn to appriciate most things. What matters to me is that I can make someone happy and feel a bit better about their life, and that in turn makes me happy and gives my life purpose. I do not ask for more.
"Love is being stupid together"
=]
>>45
True enough. I could have dealt with the fact we're both tsundere. That's just a minor obstacle that would go away with time, no doubt.
Distance is always a turn off though. It's why I stopped looking and trying when it comes to meeting people online.
Curse this military town and all the drunkards and gold-diggers here...
>>49
'tsundere' ?
eh wot? >_<
Female, hetero
Really, I just someone nice.
I'd want someone who smiles a lot, but he doesn't necessarily have to be extremely gregarious or outgoing if he isn't comfortable with that. I'm socially reserved myself, so I'd rather someone who'd like to have private dates or gatherings with small groups, as opposed to a huge party-goer.
He has to be at least moderately smart, but also not someone who brags about his intelligence or tries to make people feel stupid.
Because I'm extremely inexperienced with any romance, I'd prefer him be patient and sincere, and not mind that I'm extremely awkward in everything I do.
As far as looks go, I honestly don't care. I'm not a looker, so I don't expect him to be, either.
Big tits... erm... I mean heart.
>>55
Oh thanks. I had a feeling I should hate that word, now I know I have to.
I look for someone who is, in a nutshell, not boring. I don't need to put up with the usual girly girl who is always clingy and sensitive. I want someone more capable, someone who isn't going to devour three times her body weight in ice cream just because it didn't work out with some guy. I want someone interesting someone who is worth hanging around with. I'm not saying she shouldn't be totally unfeeling but have some dam pride. I would like to meet someone with a dam spine.
Not boring sounds like a good definition. I want someone with some passion in their life. I want someone who's really into something and wants to share it with me.
Also, kinkyness is a must.
You sound like a really good girl to date :(
Haha, thank you. I wish more people thought that. XD;
I can feel a romance is blooming here~~~~
>>53
hehehe
The more straightforward version is that, I just want a girl to fuck. Use her to satisfy my needs for physical closeness and sexual satisfaction. I have no romantic illusions about relationships.
However, while I'm at it, I might as well be her buddy in the same sense that I am a friend to anyone. And I frankly care little about what kind of person she is as long as I get my needs satisfied.
No one is any special, my affection makes people special. Affection makes people grow on you, and you'll grow together with them. The preferences I have, and which supposedly decide who I am to like, they were all shapen ahead of me. They don't mean anything to me and I can adjust them to promote whatever is convinient.
Haha, I'm far too shy to meet a girl from the internet. Maybe someday, but I don't think I could do it today. Which is weird, because I don't really have many problems meeting girls in real life. Not that that helps me much, hahaha.
there should be a 4-ch date experiment. 4-ch users who live within 50 miles of eachother go out to dinner. potentially breeding the next generation of textboard users.
lol..........
I think more than half of us are desperate enough to make that work.
laughs at my jokes
just likes being close to me
as open minded as i am
faithfull
>>65
I know I am.
Just slightly.
But the big problem is this, are enough people on 4-ch to get it to be successful?
Yeah, let's just hope the two of us aren't more than 50 miles apart.
What's a mile anyway?
>>70
50 miles = 80.4672 kilometeres or so Google says...
About not-boring-girl-idea: isn't it difficult to define? What does it mean?
For me someone who don't really care about almost anything (well... 100kg (220.462262 pounds) won't do), some kind of loose relationship without any deep intentions. Pure fun.
Crap... English is too complicated!
>>62
They bloom but always seem cut short for some reason or another.
>>72
Well it'd be worrying if they didn't.
At this point I really just want someone to smile with me.
I agree with 74. I don't really care if she is beauty or not, I really want her to be my shrine of happiness, someone i can trust and depend on..
We need a google map thingy for that project.
Male. Hetero.
I'd want a geekish person. I have no interest in the "super model". They should have the ability to take care of themselves, both body and mental wise.
Either way,
I'll also reverse the topic question for interest.
Are there any females who like the tall, strong, intellectual, quiet type?
Judging by the way how females seem to swarm around the templates of idiocy and cockiness. Yes.
>>79
Well let's put it this way; If those were your principle qualities, then the attention you'd get from females would be enough to answer your question.
I want a leading man from a Haruki Murakami book.
Observant, even-tempered, but ultimately incomplete in some vital way. "Average", but subtly, ironically self-deprecatory in a way that marks him out from the rest of the crowd.
Has random sexual encounters. Cooks meticulously.
So I am preparing myself to be a Murakami girl. Neat, well-dressed, refined. Ready to disappear without warning.
Failing that, I'd probably just become a prostitute. Who disappears.
Why don't you just quit dealing with this pesky life and disappear right now?
>>81
If you ever want to become a prostitute, please contact me. Hell, even before then. I cook!
>>81
I pay more than him.
Guy. Hetero.
Friendly, childish. Not too smart, because I don't really like being outsmarted(?). Isn't an attention whore. A little more into the introvert side. Shy and/or timid. Oh yeah, funny, and has the ability to draw.
I have no physical aspects, but I found out that I have a bad taste in those when my mom says that she's ugly.
Eh.
Male, 24, Hetero.
I've never been in relationship. Hell, i haven't even lost my first kiss. I think I'm a geek type of person and I don't understand much about girls. And that makes me inexperienced in this stuff.
Based on what people told me in the workplace, I'm a good person and they love my work ethic and I deserve a nice girlfriend. Personally, it was nice to hear all that comments. And they asked me what kind of girls i wanted. I actually didn't know how to answer that specifically.
But I know that I would like average type of girl. If my luck smiles upon me, landing on a hot sexy one is good too. I don't mind that. But I expect few things from my ideal girl; Be honest, No cheating, works hard, and love me. In return, I can promise I will do the same and I'll devote my entire life to her.
Sounds like I'm childish but that's me and that's who I am. My only bad habit is that, once I hate someone, I will hate that person for life.
Male, 21, heterosexual. I'm the OP.
It's been six months. I've just written a new description of what I look for in a girl, for a thread on 4chan's /c/. I figured I'd copy-paste it here.
Copy-pasted from http://zip.4chan.org/c/res/827396.html :
Well, I'm really not sure about it myself. Right now I think the most important thing is that she can love me, and would be happy to grow old with me. I'm that kind of hopeless romantic.
But there certainly are some things that I think would work in a girl's favour.
I won't deny that being absolutely gorgeous does help, but it's not a requirement at all. Average looking girls are fine too. Personality is so much more important.
Insofar as looks can affect me, I seem to have a thing for rare hair and eye colour combinations. Like chestnut coloured hair with green eyes, or black hair with blue eyes. Differently coloured eyes would be cool too.
Glasses can be very charming, but so can the absence of glasses.
I'd prefer someone who doesn't use make-up, but that's more of a personality trait, I guess. Modesty is a virtue, even where love is concerned.
At any rate, I'd like someone sweet. A nice girl, caring and kind-hearted.
It would be very advantageous too if she had more or less the same interests and life style as me; that would make her a versatile and open-minded but introverted Internet nerd, I suppose.
An intricate social life is definitely not a good thing.
I think it would also be nice to be with a bit of a cloudcuckoolander head-in-the-clouds daydreamer oddball type (pic related). That's part of the "same interests and life style" part, I guess.
We might end up both being completely out of touch with reality, but at least we'll be together in it.
And now I'm wondering whether there would exist girls like all this. Then again, most of it is optional. Like I said, the most important thing is that she could be happy with me.
Male, 31, hetero. Married and a father.
I have never tried to imagine or define what I look for in a love interest. The only criteria I have used are that 1)I feel attracted to her, 2) I feel good to spend time with her". As long as this is the case, I'm fine with the relationship.
The problem with over-determining your preferences is that usually we are not very good at knowing what we really need. We can say we want this and like that, but often it turns out that what we need is something entirely different. So instead of agonizing about it, and making a lot of mistakes, I prefer to let time solve things. _If a relationship lasts, it means that this person is what you need_. If the person is not suited to you, the relationship will be short lived. It's a self-selecting mechanism which is much thorough and open-minded than trying to decide by yourself. My wife has a very different character and interests than me. If I had to somehow select my mate from a list of women, I doubt she would have been my choice. When I started going out with her, I was kind of surprised it worked. I thought it would probably be a short-lived relationship, but decided to keep it as long as I was comfortable. It was years ago, and it is still going strong, so I think that's the smartest approach.
>>91
I appreciate your laissez-faire point of view. It may be the wiser one.
Honesty.
pretty hard to write about those things in english 'cause it's not my native language. i hope the text is not unreadable :P
male, 19, hetero
my appearance is quite chubby but i go regulary to the gym so i look a bit more muscular. i don't think much about the clothes i wear and other stylistic things, which does not mean that i am unhygienic or look like a trash can ;).
i am looking for an average type of girl, not an attention whore or something like that. i don't like girls with lots of make-up, there's no need for good looks (although some cuteness would be fine ^^). my looks are... somehow... ehrm... limited, if you know what i mean :P. music is a big part of my life so i don't think a relationship with a girl who hates rock/alternative could work. i really like to laugh and even more if i can make someone laugh... so she should be cheerful. a bit introverted, shy and clumsy is okay, im one of those types, too. i just want a person to talk honestly about any topic that comes into my mind because at the moment i just don't have someone to do that.
i'm a kind and friendly person who likes to help others (sometimes a bit to much, it is like a carebear complex ^^") so i kind of expect those things from the people i have any relationships with.
the question is... where are those kind of girls Òó? do they exist -.-"? i just can't find someone like that, at least where i live :'(
pretty hard to write about those things in english 'cause it's not my native language. i hope the text is not unreadable :P
male, 19, hetero
my appearance is quite chubby but i go regulary to the gym so i look a bit more muscular. i don't think much about the clothes i wear and other stylistic things, which does not mean that i am unhygienic or look like a trash can ;).
i am looking for an average type of girl, not an attention whore or something like that. i don't like girls with lots of make-up, there's no need for good looks (although some cuteness would be fine ^^). my looks are... somehow... ehrm... limited, if you know what i mean :P. music is a big part of my life so i don't think a relationship with a girl who hates rock/alternative could work. i really like to laugh and even more if i can make someone laugh... so she should be cheerful. a bit introverted, shy and clumsy is okay, im one of those types, too. i just want a person to talk honestly about any topic that comes into my mind because at the moment i just don't have someone to do that.
i'm a kind and friendly person who likes to help others (sometimes a bit to much, it is like a carebear complex ^^") so i kind of expect those things from the people i have any relationships with.
the question is... where are those kind of girls Òó? do they exist -.-"? i just can't find someone like that, at least where i live :'(