We're not telling you to treat girls like shit.

From what you've been telling us, it's painfully clear how conflicted you're feeling because of her. If she's causing you this much confusion and pain after all the years of your concern for her, what do you expect us to tell you?

There is no magical formula to make things work out. You'll have to decide whether or not you want to keep going like this. Either way, I think you should confront her. Be honest in how you feel and ask her what the fuck's been going on the past few years.

If she's oblivious of how you've felt all this time, let her know. If she's been aware, then she hasn't been returning the respect you've given her.