I held her for hours while she cried after she got dumped by that bastard she was dating so many years ago, she called me from the hospital after she OD'd on medication trying to kill herself, she told me about when her step dad raped her as a child and how she always felt guilty, she hid out at my place every day for months when her roommate started dating her ex and she couldn't take it, when she tried to kill herself a second time she came to see me first, I was there for everything. I would do anything for her, I always said so, I always meant it. I've told her how I felt about her a dozen times, I would never betray her, do anything to make her happy. She always said she wasn't interested in dating or being with a guy.

I was happy when she told me tonight, I acted happy, what else could I do, she said he's the nicest guy she's ever known. What am I then? Guess I wasn't a very nice guy after all.

I feel like shit, absolute shit. How do people move on from this? How do I even think of another girl? Can I? She's everything to me, what happens now?