Signals (15)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-06 05:52 ID:RJKMj/tG

ok so granted there are guys out there clueless to how girls flirt and the such like, and that their are threads to aid them on their way. but what about one for girls who are clueless.

or even a place for girls to type out what they are seeing and get a big thumbs up or down depending. I hate trying to look this stuff up online or doing one of those dumb ass quizzes cause they are designed and for 12 - 14 years old in school. I am 20 and i want to know what the hell the things he is doing means.

So guys what do you do to let a girl know you are interested?

2 Name: 43 : 2008-09-06 08:08 ID:Heaven

How come you got it right in >...out there clueless to how...
but you missed >...and that their are threads to...

Read "The anatomy of love" by Helen Fisher

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-06 11:55 ID:Heaven

Let's see... at first depending on what you're searching, you must know that guys are interested (or become interested) in most girls that are interested in them, provided you're not scary looking and/or batshit insane.

Secondly, hints: guys that aren't straightforward will do stuff such as look after you, spend time with you, do stuff with you they wouldn't care to do otherwise, so stuff with you they wouldn't do with other people.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-07 21:27 ID:BHs6joaR

WTF if someone craves you it can be seen it their look. You can just feel it.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-08 05:58 ID:Vw5+y3iz

>>2 Eh? I don't get it.

Hi OP, a girl here. I just read a short excerpt from "He's Just Not That Into You"-- if he's not asking you out, then all the little moves are just him leading you on.

If he likes you, he'll let you know, right? If he likes you but won't ask you out, that's his problem.
I met a guy like that. ALL DAMN SEMESTER he would stare at me in class, kind of freaky, and my friends thought it was completely WTF. Anyways, it did make me notice him, and he's hot. How hot, you ask, well, he's on the water polo team. There.
So one day he asked to borrow a pencil, which was simple enough, but after that he never talked to me. Almost 2 months later (still staring) he comes and sits down right next to me, but STILL didn't talk to me. Usually he sits either sort of behind me or 4 seats to the left in the same row. SO, last day of class, after the final I'm thinking if I should stick around and maybe talk to him-- luckily I get a call from someone and ASK, and she smartly replies: "then he'll know you like him. No leverage. Leave. Let's go." And I end up dating someone awesome and respectful and fun.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-08 07:09 ID:6F3Gy8Qe

OP, just look if he's trying to be around you alot, searching after you, such things. Also, winks, unexpected "free" smiles, general excitement around you. Random acts of kindness. Also >>3.

>>5

>SO, last day of class, after the final I'm thinking if I should stick around and maybe talk to him-- luckily I get a call from someone and ASK, and she smartly replies: "then he'll know you like him. No leverage. Leave. Let's go." And I end up dating someone awesome and respectful and fun.

You make it sound like he's not someone awesome and respectful and fun, which as far as I know you have no idea about. He might have been even more awesome and respectful and fun, but just too shy to approach you. Not that I'm saying that you should have regrets or anything, heh. I just don't like very much the way you make it sound.

That said, there was a girl in highschool I acted with like the guy you described. I'm quite the easygoing guy but whenever she was in sight it was shock and awe. Couldn't get to talk to her because, well, I don't know. My mind just blanked. Last day of school as I was waiting for my grandfather to pick me up she waited at the bus stop right across the street where I waited. Some people from our class walked on her side on the sidewalk and loudly joked at her "hey what are you waiting for there's no bus today".

Spent like ten minutes sitting on this wall and I couldn't move. Was trying to do something, anything but I was paralysed, for real. I still don't understand what happened to me, I won't ever know if she would've rejected me, whatever. Well just telling you that his problem was not necessarily to blame on him, and that it doesn't impede to his other qualities.

7 Name: 43 : 2008-09-08 08:49 ID:Heaven

>>5

You sound like an annoying person. Also, you are parting from a lot of assumptions in your statements. The guy could have just been shy.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-08 10:17 ID:Vw5+y3iz

>>6
No, I mean that the guy who I'm dating now is awesome respectful and fun. It took him a long time to ask me out too but the whole point is that he did, and we were on speaking terms way before that, and he started talking to me first back then too.

>>7
"you sound like..."
Oh well,

"shy"
I dunno about that. He kind of stares in a saucy way then turns away really quick when I turn around, and then turns back when he thinks I'm not looking and GLARES. I think he thought that would seem hot and I'd go talk to him, but really it's creepy, mostly because it lasted all semester.

what's "parting from a lot of assumptions"...?

OP: "i want to know what the hell the things he is doing means"

What is he doing, then?

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-08 10:55 ID:Heaven

>>8
No, it definitely sounds like he liked you a lot and was very shy. But I agree it could feel creepy.

10 Name: The OP : 2008-09-12 08:57 ID:gpEC7JQd

hey hey OP here
so the signals i am all confused about is as follows

He lives about 3 hours away but i got to see him for about... 3 weekends this summer. and as we were hanging out it was as follows.
a bunch of the staff were hanging out in our camp kitchen listening to some sweet tunes he was parked on the counter, and i was sitting on the floor about 10 feet away and at a 90 degree angle to him and while we were listening he just stared at me....
i looked at him and went all like blush and looked away but he kept on staring. not like a creepy he he stare but just one of those watching faces.
so i got wierded out / the floor was uncomfy so i moved onto a stool about 16 feet away and off to the side a bit. and he was still watching.....
so i have caught him looking at me like that all of the times we have been hanging out together.

but i cant tell if that means anything cause i had another guy friend who acted the same way only with more flirting and like kind words aka "i think you look like an angel" but then he turned out to not only be not interested but also gay....

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-12 11:01 ID:EAAb0bcb

Hello. Typical shy, nerdy dude here. I haven't exactly read anything except your most recent post - which to me kind of sounds like an attraction. Or, that's the kind of somewhat creepy attention I would be giving (apologies to clueless girls in my past). Just so happens that I'm also bi, so I can attest to the difference between "leading on" (though I have never consciously done this, I try to keep boundaries well defined (which is near impossible to do, but seems to work most of the time)) and "coming on" (also impossible to do, what I'd do if I liked a girl would probably end up being interpreted as extremely awkward behavior).

All in all, it seems he likes you and is horrible at hiding it.
Will be awaiting further developments...

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-12 13:59 ID:6F3Gy8Qe

I'm >>6 and I second >>11.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-12 19:48 ID:qq7VM/k9

>Hi OP, a girl here. I just read a short excerpt from "He's Just Not That Into You"-- if he's not asking you out, then all the little moves are just him leading you on.

If we are talking about jock type guys then yes, that would be the case.

If we are talking about geeky guys, you can't really be any more mistaken. You'd be extremely surprised how shy some of us are. Generally speaking, if the guy is geekish, he won't make the first move unless he knows that there is absolutely no other way to make contact, if that's not the case, he will more then likely just keep it at hints trying to show you, that he likes you.

Also >>5, judging by what you said, I can definitely say, that the guy had quite a bloody big crush on you.

14 Name: The OP : 2008-09-14 01:51 ID:RJKMj/tG

aksdjfljauilwefnsjka,.
GAHHHHHHHH

hey everyone OP here
k so i talked to his sis, who has the inside track, or so she says.
k well i talked to her and she said he has no interest from what she knows, not that i think she actually asked cause that would be totally suspicious. But instead she thinks he likes this other mutual friend, not from asking either i dont think because all she said was "oh its obvious..." even though he only saw her twice this summer. Once for a couple of hours when his fam went to visit her fam, and a second time at her sisters wedding where they barely hung out at all, i spent more time around her then he did and i spent most of my time around him. And unless they are making some serious msn or email hanky panky there is nothing showing up on facebook.

So either she knows something i dont, like he talks about her all the time which doesn't make sense anyway cause she lives 6 hours away by plane and they fight alot, OR she just doesn't like the idea of me liking her Brother.

What do you all think??

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-14 07:36 ID:Heaven

>>14
I think don't get illusionned because the odds seem to be against you, but whatever, fight for him anyway. If you have the advantage of seeing him more and stuff like that, you may be able to seduce him.

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