I know this is kinda cliche but... (11)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-20 01:17 ID:cImd4u3F

I'm heads over heels in love with a girl. I have been for over a year now. In the course of the year I have talked to her probably a grand total of 5 times. It's pathetic, I know.

But I get so nervous when I'm within a few feet of her. My mind completley blanks out, my heart starts pounding, and I can barley form coherent sentences. Now if you knew me you wouldn't believe a word I'm typing.

Normally I'm kinda a loud, outgoing, sarcastic kinda guy. Not to be conceited, but I'm not disgustingly ugly or anything.
I'm currently a senior in highschool as is the girl i'm obsessed with.

She's the quiet, timid, reserved non existent kind of girl. I've been told that she is slightly cute BUT overall pretty plain and would never turn a head.

But to me she's the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't stop thinking about her. I've never felt this strongly against a person, not even with any of my previous girlfriends.

So far I've been fine with just being able to see her face around school. But time is running out, in just 8 months we would of graduated, and moved on to college. Since I'm going outta state the chances of ever seeing her again after highschool will be nearly zero. Just the thouhgt of that brings a sick feeling to my stomach.

I really want to at least become her friend. But I have no idea how I can talk to her. We have no classes together, and it's weird just going up to her randomly at lunch. I'm so scared that if I ever talk to her I'd mess everthing up and she'd think I'm some weird creepy guy. Ugh I feel so shitty.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-20 02:30 ID:Heaven

sounds like a typical high school situation. just to put it in perspective, if you arent going to end up at the same college, its going to be near impossible to hold a relationship together. even if you went up to her tomorrow, asked her out, and she went along with it.

basically, you have nothing to lose by talking to her, and everything to lose by not. vanilla answer for vanilla situation, but its the truth. if youre really feeling desperate, you could always try putting a letter in her locker.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-20 21:19 ID:OjkS5HBH

Okay, it's good that you haven't talked to her that much in the course of a year. You need to keep momentum, but not go rushing in.

Number one issue: there's no need to be nervous around her. After all, she's not a supermodel, like you say. She's not an angel or a paradigm of humankind. If you watch her close or listen to he talk you'll see all kinds of imperfections and silly habits she has. In fact it's OK to let her catch you looking at her (but just barely) Talk to her like you would talk to your friends (minus the really crude jokes, keep it classy)

Number two: Find connections to her. Through friends, through shared interests, through locales, etc. You're gonna have to figure this one out on your own because I don't know your life.

Now, once you've got a chance to talk to her, start talking about something simple in your local environment. This requires some planning but don't say anything that sounds canned or fake. Because she's a "plain-Jane" girl like you say, you can drop a subtle compliment (i.e: she has good taste in something) but limit yourself to one or two. Remember to get her number. That's sealing the deal. Just ask nice and casual "What's your phone number?" And if she asks why tell her "So I can call you 10 times a day from now on." Then crack a smile. Good chance it'll work. She might never have given her number out before!

Let the number sit for 3 days, then ask her on a date. A brief date, like lunch together or some activity you'd both enjoy. Think about it. I can't hold your hand through the whole time.

ONE LAST TIP: NEVER tell her outright you like her. It doesn't matter how much you like her. What matters is how much she likes you.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-20 22:20 ID:mZ0yNIcC

OP here.

Thanks alot for the advice. I really appreciate it. :].

Well about the whole not telling her I like her thing...the thing is I'm pretty sure she knows I like her. I was talking to one of my friends about my situation and she accidently let it slip that I liked her.

Which is why I feel like I'm walking to the electric chair when I simply walk past her. I have absolutley no idea how she feels about me. Her being the innocent type might even be a bit intimidated/creeped out by me cause I'm somewhat known to be a party guy.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-20 23:03 ID:8rStBDHG

I understand that feeling of -walking to the electric chair when I simply walk past her-

I think you just should play it cool. There's a big chance she'll doubt your intentions ... if you're known as the party boy and she's pretty shy.
So if you try to keep it casual (the conversations) but at the same time you show that you really care for her opinion/idea (in the topic of the conversation there's plenty of oportunites to show interest in her personality)the result might be good.
My guess is that she'll prefer if you compliment her mind first - So she'll know you're not after her just because of the way she looks - This, I think, is the major preoccupation of that type of girl (since I'm one of them).
If the next times you're with her she begins showing more enthusiasm than she did, or she begins talking more than she usually does, etc...well, you're on. You gained her trust. After that, you'll probably begin hinting you really think she's a great girl, and that you'd really like to spend more time with her, etc.
Keep us posted, we'd like to know if you get lucky or not!

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-21 23:52 ID:0/FjvnwE

Funny, back in highschool this guy who I knew to be a party guy showed interest in me, a shy nerdy kinda girl. I rejected every single advance made by him and yeah, I pretty much doubted his intentions, probably because I knew very little about him in general. My advice is tell her you would like to get to know her as friends first. Let her get to know you as a person before you ask her out romantically.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-22 05:17 ID:CTsUDBEZ

Uh, I was in your situation.

I managed to work up courage, approached the girl, got her number, we went on a few dates.

But be warned. Yes she was a shy girl, but after I shown interest in her, she got really egoist (she told me nobody ever liked her before), and she fell in love with some cool guy from college who had a motorbike...

That guy of course only wanted sex from her, she gave her virginity to him, then got thrown away.

I felt betrayed but at the same time sorry for her. After all I caused this.

Shy/inexperienced/immature girls are prone to this.

So don't be too appreciating of her and don't expect anything. There's always a guy cooler than you. I would really suggest falling in love with a more mature thinking and sociable girl. But it can not be cont rolled.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-25 02:05 ID:JvpNeqi4

OP here.

Well today after mustering enough courage to take on Anderson Silva in the octagon I sorta waved at her while passing her in the halls, and giving her a shaky smile. I KNOW it sounds like nothing, but to me I felt like it was a huge accomplishment. She waved back at me in return, albeit hesitantly and without a smile. But it nevertheless made my day, and I was a giddy little preschooler for the rest of the day. =] Well now that the feelings of ecstasy have worn off, I have slightly more confidence and hopefully I'll be able to start a conversation next time I see her.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-25 04:39 ID:GHB5Ouh1

this sounds familiar like it happened to me before I remember that exact feeling and circumstance but why do I feel like hiding so bad.......
Be careful... I'll be in my closet

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-25 08:17 ID:Heaven

>>9 oh a gay crush?

(saging for un-relatedness)

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-25 17:28 ID:lx9q1tlY

just say "hey, is it cool if i take you out to dinner or something sometime?"

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