So my boyfriend and I have been going out for two years, he's a sophomore in college, and I'm a senior in high school. He goes to college 4 hours away and I see him maybe once a month. Last year was better because we actually talked on the phone and he didn't have as much homework. This year, we barely talk and he has so much homework he hasn't made an effort to see my yet. You might tell me to go visit him, but this won't work because a) I'm not allowed to drive that far, b) even if I could, I wouldn't be allowed to stay with him, c) I'm not going there with my dad (he's a thread all his own), and d) my mom works and she doesn't like traveling too often.
So him being away would be fine if I had friends to distract me... but I don't. I have a friend that like about 10 minutes away, but she's VERY concerned about homework and paying for gas. I have some other friends about half an hour away, but they sometimes annoy me and I don't really want to go all the way over there, even if I was allowed to drive half an hour away. My BEST friend lives about an hour and a half away. And again, I'm not allowed to drive that far.
But I totally love my boyfriend and could see myself spending the rest of my life with him... I think. But the distance is REALLY getting to me. So my question is this: would it be worth it to break it off before we get REALLY sick of each other and the other's seeming lack of caring about the relationship? This is mostly a rant, but any advice would be appreciated. A LOT, because I know that I don't have a lot of world experience, no matter how mature some people think I am.
Long distance relationships can work, I was in a LDR for 10 years before marrying. But they don't necessarily work for everybody.
A crucial point for a healthy LDR is that you must have regular (even if brief) phone contacts, and always have some project to look forward to (week end trip, holiday, etc).
Finally, don't rely too much on your partner to enrich your socal life. Even when not in a LDR, it's not a good idea,...
amor de lejos, amor de pendejos
aka
it's not worth doing unless you BOTH are absolutely sure it's what you want.
and even then
it's still risky
@ 10: Holy shit, 10 years?! God, 6 is going to kill me, if you still count ~45 minutes as "long distance."
And the "something to look forward to" idea makes sense. A lot of the time, I don't know when the next time I'll see him is.
@ 11: "love from far, love from...?" can you translate that last word for me?
>> 12
Well, for me it was 6h. 45 min does not strike me as a terrible long distance, many people commute daily far more than that,...
Right now it's 3-4 hours. But even with 45 minutes you have to remember that we'll both be in college then and have homework and stuff.
Wow >>10-san, that's amazing. How was the whole experience for you? Is your relationship with your partner even stronger now that you both had endured that much time for each other?
>How was the whole experience for you?
It can be tough, but it also has its advantages:
Cons:
Pros:
>Is your relationship with your partner even stronger now that you both had endured that much time for each other?
Certainly. After all we went through and the commitment displayed by both of us, we both have a lot of confidence in our relationship, even though you must never become complacent.
I think that if a relationship is not quickly killed off by distance, it can become more robust than the average normal relationship, simply because you need to invest so much in it that it becomes very important to you.
But I must say I would not go into a relationship if it will be long distance for ever. For me it was important to have the goal of living together, even if it takes a long time to get there. So don't think I'm saying that LDRs are better than normal ones ^_^
HE'S GONNA FUCK A LOT OF DUDES.
>>18
let me rephrase that. He lives four (4) hours away and hasn't made an effort to see you yet, and you talk rarely. The likelehood of you falling apart is apparent, though I do hope the best for you two.
oh i have something to say on this topic but it's far too late and complicated and argh fuck it. distance sucks. 4 hours, christ, at least you're on the same continent. you can get a train! i'm five thousand miles away from the person i want to spend my life with.