best ways/places to break up? (4)

1 Name: peaches : 2009-04-30 09:39 ID:TaxgdiYe

i am now absolutely MISERABLE with my over-affectionate, free-loader, sad-shack, passive-aggressive, little-kid boyfriend.
i want to break up with him tomorrow, but i don't know how.

where is the appropriate place?
is it ok to break up over the phone?
through a text message?
maybe write him a letter or an email?
or should i just invite him to coffee and break it to him in public?

what do i say to him? i don't want to be friends, i don't want to see him again and i don't want him coming up to my work anymore and just "hanging out" or anything.
leave me alone forever?
stop wasting my time, we're through??

He was my first real boyfriend and now that its ending so badly, I'm awfully depressed and clueless as to how to get out of this mess as quickly and painlessly as possible.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-30 10:02 ID:kEiw898P

>where is the appropriate place?

Anywhere private enough.

>is it ok to break up over the phone?

No.

>through a text message?

HELL NO.

>maybe write him a letter or an email?

If you really, REALLY can't face him, but honestly - no.

>or should i just invite him to coffee and break it to him in public?

Never, ever, EVER. This is already be going to be hard for him, do you really want him to feel humiliated in public?

>what do i say to him? i don't want to be friends, i don't want to see him again and i don't want him coming up to my work anymore and just "hanging out" or anything.

Just be clear with that. Try not to hurt him too much, but be consistent - make it clear that this isn't negociable.

But whatever you do, remember, he's an human being with feelings, possibly strong feelings for you. You WILL hurt him, probably a lot, but try to minimize the damage. Unless he really doesn't get a clue over the following days, don't be too harsh. Be honest, but don't be rude.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-30 21:33 ID:JEf63JpV

It could be okay to do it in public if for some reason you need to feel safe, but based on your description of him I don't think this is the case. In person, and if not a hand written letter delivered in person, and if not just a letter.
Just don't ever say anything that could imply he has a chance of getting you back. This is about you moving on, but what's best for him is to move on also.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-30 22:32 ID:QWl6n8r6

I'd say do it in person.
Text is the WORST way you could ever do it, and a phone call is only a bit above that.
If you feel like he'll react dangerously if you all are alone, I'd do it in public, but still semi-private, way, like in a loud restaurant.
However, if you think you'll be okay alone with him, I'd do it in private, hopefully at his home so you can just leave and you don't have to worry about him planting himself in your house until you reconsider.

Be honest about how you feel, tell him WHY you feel that way (this is the most important part), and also make it clear you want no contact with him. If he asks questions make sure to answer them all nicely, but at the same time be firm that you're not going to change your mind.

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