This other girl... (8)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-06 11:39 ID:wg1k1WLy

I don't even know how to start properly but I have to get this off my chest. Since I was 17, I engaged in long-term relationships, with little to no breaks in between. I was quite happy with each of this girls but there was always other girls I wanted. They used to be very attractive and seemed to like me too, but I didn't do more with them than hold hands or cuddle while drunk. I was pretty fixated on them so often, I caught myself thinking about them rather than thinking about my current girlfriend. Each of these girls kind of came and went, but I still have contact with most of them, so I never really forgot them.
Now I'm in my 4th relationship and it's going quite well for about one year now. There never was another girl yet. But tonight I had this dream about one of those past girls. It was very intense, she was teasing me while my current girlfriend was in the same room, but she looked 20 years older. Waking up I strongly craved this girl from my dream and the first thing I did was to start my IM and try to reach her. So I kind of followed the old pattern again.
What's wrong with me? Am I a polygamous personality, or do I just lack self control?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-07 03:25 ID:/cgoPzGj

Probably both. At some point you'll have to choose between your "multiple interests" personality or being engaged in an exclusive long-term relationship. These can't work well together. Either you reinforce your self control, or you give up on having that kind of relationship.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-07 13:26 ID:ZNCEGt/T

I don't know. Can you control your dreams and what they do to you?

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-07 14:00 ID:bne9iUnp

It's normal to show interest in more than one girl. Whether you follow up on that or not is a different issue, which is something only you can decide, depending or not it clashes with your other interests.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-11-02 21:42 ID:mP8De7zT

>>1 here. It happened again, I became obsessed with a girl from college. I went to a party the other night and spent much time talking to her. She even gave me her number. Now i dreamt of her the third night in a row and I can't wait to see her tomorrow.

As >>4 pointed out, it may be normal to show interest in more than one girl, but still, it is always ONE girl i focus on. Still, when my current relationship ends, I know that I won't be single for long, because his behavior is independent from whether I'm in a relationship or not.

Well, seems to be something I can't just choose not to do. Frustrating.

6 Name: ratzz : 2009-11-03 14:53 ID:aYfa5i21

this is what i say if ur current relasionship i seriouse then dont worry about it but im not tryin to say dat cheating is alrite ethier

7 Name: 1-san!!6evFWSw0 : 2009-12-12 16:15 ID:DktReX0M

OP here again. This seems to be the only place I can get this off my chest, so… sorry if this bores you.

>>6
If I understand you correctly, you advise me to cheat on her because this won't even affect serious relationships? That's interesting because if you think about it, this turns out to be what I think.

However, I've found out that the girl I wrote about in >>5 has a boyfriend. I went to a party and we've been talking for hours tonight. When she left, I did, too. She offered me to stay the night but i refused. I think my friends become wary now so I decided to get out of touch with her for some time. I spend way too much time thinking about her.
We found out that we have a lot in common. We are both interested in arts, music and architecture. Our personalities are alike. We both are rather introverted, like spending our evenings alone sometimes. It was very tense to see how our minds intersect and how we exchanged unconscious messages that made us stick together the whole evening.
Also, she is one of the most beautiful girls I've seen.

8 Name: 1 : 2009-12-25 12:22 ID:YsGlpfwi

Look, forget about everything I wrote, because it is over with her[my first love] and I want to start a new [love]-life.
But you know things like this are impossibly to forget. It will be always in me, so please understand.

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