No way out of the friend zone? (4)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-10 06:48 ID:852BfRW9

Well there's this girl I've been friends with for about a year and a half and we've gotten to be really close friends. At first I felt no attraction towards her but I started to really like her. About 6 months ago we both felt some connection between us, but at the time she had a boyfriend so nothing actually happened. She told me that she liked me and I told her I liked her back. She didn't want to be fucked up to her boyfriend at the time so like I said, nothing happened. It really did tear me up inside seeing them together, in fact I think I cried once or twice. To be fair though she did lead me on a lot, texting things like "I miss you" or shit like "I can't stop thinking about you".

I was not very aggresive during that time though and I know it was my downfall. She eventually told me that we should value our friendship more than anything and not try to ruin it, which I somewhat agree with, but I really can't stop liking her. She broke up with her boyfriend not too long after that which was when I did try to pursure her but she said something like "I realized I can't like you more than just a friend." It hurt a lot, and to add more damage to it she started fooling around with some other guy. After that I started ignoring her but she eventually showed up to my door asking why I was acting like that, saying she still did value me as a friend. Right now she's not seeing anyone and I really want to be with her, but there's just no way I can see anything I do make her like me.

I'll describe us just so you guys know how we are if that helps I guess. First off I'm not the most confident guy, but I do consider myself somewhat goodlooking and outgoing. I'm kind of nerdy but I'm in good shape. I go to college and live with some friends but my parents support me. She's an independent hardworker, handles going to college, working, and paying for her own place all on her own. We know pretty much everything about eachother. She's done things for me that I wouldn't do for most people and vice versa. And we are really close, I have no problem with changing or getting naked in front of her and neither does she.

I just need some advice, I really am lost and confused on what to do.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-10 08:59 ID:GDtMvr/r

Been there, done that. Back off, keep some distance, don't be that close. If you're attracted, you can be somewhat distant friends, but for your own mental health you cannot be too close to her. First and foremost because it will make you hurt without the shade of a doubt; but then because it is your only slight chance to have her chase after you at least a bit (and maybe kickstart again from here, who knows).

But as long as she is used to having you around with nothing more, nothing will happen. Worse, she has all the benefits of "being with you" (enjoying your company) without any real involvement (I'm not saying friendship isn't, but you see what I mean).

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-10 15:46 ID:C1AnPMu2

I think you just need to decide that you want to go out with her, and behave accordingly.

Learn to seduce her, and do things with her that you do with a girlfriend.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-11 16:03 ID:TVZ+JQFQ

u blew it. move on. its that simple.

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