If you aren't happy without someone there is no way you are going to be happy with someone either. The only thing you will end up doing is hurting yourself, the other person and becoming a burden to them.
>Is there some puppy dog out there you feel guilty about rejecting, and so you want to blame him to make yourself feel better?
Lol no, that's just silly. Also OP samefagging.
>want to be an artist, so I'm constantly observing myself, and the world around me, in order to capture what I believe to be the essence of life.
What you are doing is not observation, it's self-absorption, Understanding yourself is fine, when it is metered with acknowledgment of reality and the outside world without filtering it through your self-deluded POV.
>Perhaps as the old saying goes "You get more bees with honey"
I'm not altering a hard message just to make it go down easier for you. You asked for advice, if you don't agree with it that is your prerogative but I think underneath all your self-deception, on some level, you understand exactly what I mean.
>that wording makes the difference between a wise man and an arrogant fool.
Yeah maybe, if you are a sophist.