In love and irritated. (31)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-07 03:31 ID:3q+oiRW2

I'm in love with this girl that doesn't love me back, or at least that's what she told me last year. Which normally would be fine. I might be down for a while, shed a tear or two, and go on with my life. The problem is that I did none of these things. It feels like shes growing in my mind even though I try to stay away from her. I saw her a few times this year and almost exploded. My theory is that she's about the only woman in the world that actually gives two-shits about my life and i'm completely dependent on it and scared to find someone else.

I have two sisters and a mom that are more into their own worlds to care about mine. My mom and dad are divorced, so I don't see my dad much. My dad was not a bad dad, I mean I know he loves me and helps me as much as he can, but he's kind of mean and subjective. We never really bonded, so I am more or less in my room most of the time at home. Middle child syndrome is bad for me,(took meds, I see a counsler...blah blah blah) so my self-esteem while recovering is still kind of low. I'm into anime and shit and a little socially retarded as far as things like music and movies and shit that chicks talk about (I hear about it 24-7 from my sisters so why should I fucking care?)

In fact, I kind of hate women. Not them as people, but the society catered around women. Okay, maybe I hate women in general. So I figured that since I hate women, I won't mind being alone all my life and doing whatever the fuck I want to do.

Honestly, I hate this chick. She's irritating, annoying, selfish, petty, and tells my business in the street. Shes a pain in the ass. But I like her. Alot. So when I told her and she said no I figured that we'd part ways and that is that. But no. She still pops up and irritates me. And i'm like one step away from going total pussy mode and telling her I love her AGAIN and letting everything explode in my face.

What do you guys think? Am I just in super denial and I need to face my own emotions? Did she just lie about not liking me too, and she's just doing the shit she does for attention? Or is it a personal problem?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-07 04:07 ID:hAIJpE4t

You've idealized her too much she is just a person like you, your sister, or anyone else. I'm not sure I understand how you plan on having a successful relationship with her if she does say yes. If you find her so annoying now what makes you think you'll feel any different when you're eating dinner some place as a couple? Your bitterness and jealousy over being rejected is very apparent from what you've wrote. Your views on women are kind of wrong as a result. You shouldn't care what girls talk about if they want to talk about that stuff they'll talk to other girls its none of your concern. Talk about things you like and if they don't like it talk to a different girl. It's perfectly ok to hate society though I don't blame you on that.

My advice is to recognize you can't have her and move on. That doesn't mean to ignore her forever you can still like someone and recognize that you can't date them you just have to be mature about it. You can even still talk to them you just have to respect how they feel. Either way its rough I know the feeling you don't have to listen to me I don't know much anyway.

3 Name: op : 2009-12-07 06:30 ID:3q+oiRW2

>>2

Secret Admirer, have you ever been in love before? Love isn't very rational. While what you say makes complete and total sense, reality is different.

Honestly i'm not really jealous, or bitter. Perhaps I was a little too stern, sarcastic, and mean in my post. I would've said that in an irritable joking manner.

I don't honestly hate women. If I did then I wouldn't post about love. Most of the women I have been meeting have irritated the crap out of me though, so maybe that's where all that crankiness comes from. Chicks that are far too obsessed in Twilight and movie stars. My 20th century art teacher was a woman, and a feminist too, and possibly one of the best people i've ever met. My little sister is a pretty damn cool kid. I love my mom and older sister too.

I guess with you secret, I need to be far more open. The truth is that I like this girl, alot. Shes not really as annoying as I say she is, shes charming and lovable. And I understand the fact that she doesn't like me that way. Not like it matters, in the end I still love the person she is.

The problem lies in my feelings. It seems like I can't rationalize them at all. I'm drawn to her in every way. It's not that I haven't tried to let go; I have. But it's....It's like being drawn to a magnet when you are metal. It isn't really a conscious choice; i'm constantly bleeding out love for this girl. And that is why I stay away; because I can see that if we were ever alone together I would lose myself in her black eyes....

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-07 14:37 ID:Heaven

Stop being dramatic and idiotically whimsical.

The longer the ruminate on your lame crush, and no you are not in love, the longer you are doing yourself a disservice.

She doesn't like you, get used to it.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-07 19:15 ID:hAIJpE4t

Hello again glad my post made some sense they usually don’t make any sense at all. You didn't have to defend your views on women I knew you didn't mean it. I get what you mean those kinds of girls get on my nerves too.
I tend to fall in love pretty easily unfortunately. I've only really dated two girls though. I know how you feel. I felt the same towards the first girl I dated even though we broke up over two years ago. If I saw her I felt such emotion that I don't even know how to describe it. I was "lucky" when we broke up I was leaving high school so I didn't really have to see her much afterwards. I still saw her more often than I would have liked though. She was my best friend's friend and my sister’s friend so we ended up being forced together on several occasions. At first I used to run away if she showed up but eventually I was able to talk to her like a normal person but even then I still had trouble with it despite all my reasoning and the feelings still come back. I was irritated and a little angry at her at first too. I still like her over two years later but I know I can never date her. I like her enough to respect her wishes and not try and date her anymore even though I want to. The reasoning to get to this point is difficult to convey but it hinges on the fact that if you care about this person you will recognize that trying to date her will make her unhappy and the goal of love is to make the other person happy. So you don’t love her from what you’ve said you just want her like a possession. I’m sure that’s not how you actually feel but you have to realize it this fact. You have to rationalize your feelings. It took me a good 4 or 5 months to completely rationalize the whole thing but I was mildly depressed at that point too and I was horribly alone. You can get over it. It just takes time there is no other option. If you really feel like deceiving yourself focus on making yourself a better person so that maybe in another year or two you can ask her out again. I still have more to say but this post is getting long. By the way do you like Porcupine Tree your last paragraph seemed a lot like two of their songs. Good luck with this if you want more input from me just ask.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-07 19:20 ID:/ILNr87k

It's not healthy, and you need to move on. You don't want this to become an obsession, right? Like where you love her and hate her at the same time and start stalking her? Because that's what it may seem like.

She may very well be the only woman that cares about you and so you see her as your only option. But she's not an option, because unfortunately women look at love and the pursuit of love entirely different from men; When she knows you are in love with her (before she feels the same way) that can only make you less desirable.

It's like you're now a pair of old trustworthy running shoes that sit in her closet, the most comfortable and durable pair she's ever had. She takes them for granted because they'll always be there and she can wear them anytime she wants. But she's not going to wear those on a night out. She'll go window shopping and drool over impractical, expensive heels she can't afford. Those shoes have value because of the price, the label, and because they're in demand.

If you feel you need to tell her you love (or hate) her just to get her out of your life, then do so. But she will never change her mind now.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-07 19:38 ID:3q+oiRW2

>>4

"Ruminate"? Jesus Christ. You know absolutely nothing about love. Dramatic and idiotically whimsical? Are you kidding me? You don't use logic when you love someone. Why do you think people stay with abusers and fuck ups? Emotions aren't something you can rationalize, they are feelings, not conscious decisions. Plus, people love differently. The sheer fact that you can't understand this...well, makes sense I suppose.

You seem to be...well..inflexible and lacking in understanding. I find that people who keep an open mind regardless of how something appears to be can find a way much easier than a person closed off by their fears and insecurities.

You can call it lame, you can call me overly dramatic and sad, but in the end I know my own feelings and I'll take time to understand them better.

Secret, you make it sound like the fact that she doesn't care for me means that my own feelings should fade. Why should they? She's a great person and a good friend. Perhaps i'm only worried that i'm being a pain to her for these feelings, but aside from that what reason would I have to close them up?

I met her when I wanted to change, and understand others better. For the longest time i've been so shut in my own mind that I could not see anyone other than myself. Maybe she'll never love me. That doesn't really matter. In the end, I still get to see her. And that's all that really matters.

Buddy, methinks you've been hurt. BAD.

8 Name: op : 2009-12-07 20:07 ID:3q+oiRW2

>>6>>5

I can't tell if your the same guy or not, but whatever. >>4 seems unnecessarily harsh for you.

>>5

Let's chat a little. You know, last year I was just like you man. I thought that I was being a burden or something and just told her how I felt so that it could be over and done with. I knew she didn't like me like that so I figured i'd just tell her so that we could stay away from each other and I could move on. The funny thing is that even though she knew about my feelings and hers, she still wanted to see me.

I saw a scrubs episode a while back, and in it there was this really skinny, ugly nerd and a really hot chick together in a hospital. Elliot, the intern in charge, asked, "How did it happen between you two?", and she replied, "He was always there for me. In the end, that's what we are looking for, right?"

I think that most of us on here are somewhat retarded when it comes to love. We don't have enough experience to know that things can change, no matter how much it seems like they won't. When I called the girl and told her that I liked her, she didn't like me at that moment. It doesn't mean that she will never like me, because none of that has happened yet. Our past determines the present, not the future. That is why we can hope for better things, because we have a future.

If you feel something, don't close it up, because it will eventually eat away at you. Explore it. You don't have to rationalize anything. Just be kind and understandable, and eventually you'll find something worthwhile.

>>6
Lol...Dude you are totally on it. Sometimes I feel like women go through men like they do ice cream. But so do men. I believe that part of that is the growing process of life. Just because my love for her is growing doesn't mean that i'm just going to focus on her completely. I just know that somehow, in some way, shes important.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-08 05:28 ID:Heaven

>>7
No, you know nothing about love.

>inflexible and lacking in understanding.

I'm inflexible when it comes to dramatic retards who are clearly experiencing their first childish crush on someone.

>Why do you think people stay with abusers and fuck ups?

It's called codependency, and it has nothing to do with love.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-08 07:22 ID:hAIJpE4t

It’s 2 and 5 again. I can't help but feel like what you are saying is right or at least partially right. But we as people are not just emotional creatures that run off feelings we have reason and even emotions have reasons behind them.

I think it’s fine if you just think of her as an important person. Be her friend maybe she will like you back eventually who knows. Be glad she still wants to talk to you. She may not love you or want to date you but she still values you as a friend and as a person. Like you said love takes many forms and love can change. You can love her as a friend. I don’t think it would be right to risk your friendship again. Why do you want to drive her away so bad? I still can’t figure out why you told her even when you know she was going to say no the first time. You said it’s so you can move on but that doesn’t make sense. There are plenty of girls I liked and never said anything to and got over them just fine. I was even really good friends with them through the whole thing. There might be another issue going on here. If she does start to like you you’ll know and then you can tell her your feelings all you want but until then just be her friend. It’s not about being a burden on them think how you would feel in her situation. Just be glad you can still be friends. You may read this and think but love isn’t like this or but I can’t help it or something similar but it really is this simple…. You can’t always feel or see what is right with so many coincidences and smaller problems that people encounter day to day it’s hard to see the whole picture and trying to express something like that into words won’t work. Whatever is trying to be said will be lost in the confusion. Everything at some point won’t feel right you can feel doubt at some point for every idea for any object. There are so many things that can’t be put into words that don’t fit in anywhere. There is nothing stopping you from feeling them either but what I am trying to say is don’t be so hasty with the feelings you get especially if don’t know what is going to happen.

I don’t think I have a right to try and convince you of anything your views aren’t entirely wrong they are very idealistic and maybe even impractical but I agree with them or at least I want to agree with them. Sorry about the long post

11 Name: op : 2009-12-08 09:51 ID:3q+oiRW2

>>10
Well, feelings are complex, of course. Some things are very difficult to understand, even when it comes to feelings. People do feel things differently. Some people are more emotionally expressive than others and have a hard time rationalizing such emotions. I suppose that I wasn't really driving her away, but taking time to properly understand why I feel what I feel. You make total sense on being hasty. There's no rush for me. I suppose posting is a good way to rationalize better, and it helps when people can look at it in an unbiased manner.

Perhaps your right about driving her away. There is probably an underlying reason for me to do that, and I need to explore that more. Thank you.

>>9
Maybe what you say sounds completely rational, but to be honest you sound far too rigid to be helpful. What i've seen from everybody else is "Manage your feelings", "perhaps you should move on", "see the bigger picture", which was great advice for me, someone who just wants to understand my own feelings. You don't berate someone who is trying to listen or understand unless of course you are using it as a defense mechanism for your own problems.
You still make harsh generalizations that make no sense. Perhaps if you explain why you say i'm being overly dramatic, then maybe I could understand better. But having an ego trip over someone else's problems doesn't really help anything.

12 Name: op : 2009-12-08 10:49 ID:3q+oiRW2

>>9>>4

You know, I keep reading your posts, trying to get a distinct understanding as to why anyone would make such blunt statements towards someone with some sort of need. Initially, it seems irritating and unnecessary, which is perhaps why I felt the need to berate you. But you know...I don't think that is really the case.

You seem like you've lived for a little while, and you've been though some things, good and bad. You don't seem like a know-it-all, or a kid who talks out of his ass. Perhaps being blunt is a way to make me see reality for what it is, and there are certain things that you just won't get even with the best of intentions.

I suppose i'm a person who isn't really aiming to win, or needs to experience instant gratification. Perhaps if I were more cut and dry like you are I would get what I want more often. But honestly, that just doesn't seem satisfying. I believe that love can't be readily defined by anything basic. Some people's ideas of love seem crazy compared to others. But all their ideas are unified by one aspect: that love is something distinct and strong. Perhaps I shouldn't use such a powerful word like that right now. I'm still trying to understand my own feelings.

I suppose the journey is more fun than the destination. If she never cares for me i'm okay with that. It's just fun to go through life and have experiences. Since life is so short, I want to just sit back and enjoy it, so that when I die, I can die with a big grin on my face.

Trust me, you make sense when it comes to establishing relationships. But there is more to life than just getting the girl. I suppose you helped me understand that too.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-08 15:22 ID:Heaven

>>12
Being blunt, as you put it, is because there is nothing more to be said, why expand on it when it can be said so simply?

...

What you are experiencing is far from special, it is banal even, everyone experiences it and the only useful advice is for you to move on. She is not special, you are not special, life continues, there is no need to examine things this excessively, it is self-destructive even.

For the love of god stop thinking about your feelings unless you are actually looking to avoid living your life.

What I strongly suspect you are doing, and I expect you probably know this yourself to some extent, is distracting yourself from serious emotional and personal problems with the idea of love and romance. There is no wonder it is not working out for you, it's like attempting to fix a leaking pipe with a band-aid.

You have poor self-esteem and are obviously very self-conscious and your posts suggest some major emotional problems. I suggest you work on those issues before you even consider burdening someone else with your problems. In other words, no girlfriend until you are happy, healthy, confident and living life.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-08 17:17 ID:3q+oiRW2

>>13

I think its important to be self-conscious and aware of my own actions and emotions. The only way I can progress is to understand what i'm feeling and why i'm feeling it.

I want to be an artist, so i'm constantly observing myself, and the world around me, in order to capture what I believe to be the essence of life. Perhaps you may see emotions as something simple. But I see them as guidelines for being. I have emotional problems. What human doesn't have them?

You think that I burden her? Please. I'm no lovestruck puppy, as you seem to want me to believe. I just go with what I feel is right and follow that path.

Obviously you haven't read my posts very well. I have not mentioned the term "girlfriend" even once. You seem to see what i'm going though as a problem that needs to be solved. And perhaps if it was a math problem, a social studies exam where the right answer is automatic positive self-gratification, or a structural problem, then your process would be correct. You must understand, that there is much more to life than simple answers.

Anon, from what I can see from this post, you haven't gone though anything that could warrant sympathy. I figured that you may be older from your bluntness, that there could be something hidden underneath your rationale. Your wording seems very pushy, though you do seem to be much more open then you were. Perhaps as the old saying goes "You get more bees with honey", meaning that wording makes the difference between a wise man and an arrogant fool.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-09 01:59 ID:Heaven

>>13

Reading this I can't help but suspect that you're trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. What happened in your life that makes you want to tell >>1 he should be alone until he's independently happy without having pursued the very things that bring happiness? Is there some puppy dog out there you feel guilty about rejecting, and so you want to blame him to make yourself feel better?

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-09 03:05 ID:Heaven

>>15

If you aren't happy without someone there is no way you are going to be happy with someone either. The only thing you will end up doing is hurting yourself, the other person and becoming a burden to them.

>Is there some puppy dog out there you feel guilty about rejecting, and so you want to blame him to make yourself feel better?

Lol no, that's just silly. Also OP samefagging.

>>14

>want to be an artist, so I'm constantly observing myself, and the world around me, in order to capture what I believe to be the essence of life.

What you are doing is not observation, it's self-absorption, Understanding yourself is fine, when it is metered with acknowledgment of reality and the outside world without filtering it through your self-deluded POV.

>Perhaps as the old saying goes "You get more bees with honey"

I'm not altering a hard message just to make it go down easier for you. You asked for advice, if you don't agree with it that is your prerogative but I think underneath all your self-deception, on some level, you understand exactly what I mean.

>that wording makes the difference between a wise man and an arrogant fool.

Yeah maybe, if you are a sophist.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-09 20:38 ID:Heaven

>>16
The thing is you have no idea where happiness lies. For a lonely person, happiness lies in others. A large portion of self-esteem is external, and contingent on others. If one is not happy alone, remaining alone will not solve that either. Your shallow advice would see countless people wait their whole lives. I pity your lack of understanding and seriously hope no one considers you a friend, lest they ever consider 'burdening' you with their problems.

> Also OP samefagging.

No. Get off your high horse and get a life.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-10 02:46 ID:Heaven

>>17
Lol, so I see I was right.

You have issues man.

Good luck to you, I hope you can grow as a person over the years.

19 Name: op : 2009-12-11 15:17 ID:3q+oiRW2

>>18

Actually, that wasn't me. I haven't been on this board in 2 or 3 days. Goes to show that perhaps you need to reevaluate some decisions in your life that are preventing you from seeing the whole picture. For the most part, individuals that are happy with themselves and others seek to understand each other. People who do not try to understand have some unsettled issues preventing them from progressing forward. Obviously it is up to you to seek help, and I hope you do; society is an important component for enjoying life nowadays. But that's not really up to me.

"Lol, so I see I was right"

That sentence right there bothers me. What does it matter to be right or wrong when helping someone?

>>16

What meaning does "and the world around me" don't you get? And self-delusion is really what your doing to yourself. Also, why is logic again being attributed to this conversation? Feelings, again, aren't logical.

>>17

Thanks for that.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-11 20:23 ID:Heaven

There is no right way to do things.

There is no real "progress".

It's all a joke that could end in the next minute, so stop being so serious, relax and just enjoy the moment. Every last one of you.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-11 20:30 ID:/ILNr87k

>>19

Welcome. Best not to continue arguing with >>18. Although I really want to address the grandstanding, button pushing and bad attitude, it's clear he or she has an emotional investment in the issue through unrelated life experiences. Or is just a troll.

(Offthought: I wonder if, when someone in your situation tells a friend he loves her, she just doesn't believe him? It fits in with the narrow whitewashed view of love many women subscribe to. Like it's not a real feeling unless both people share it equally. But I would have trouble consolidating this thought with simpler explanations.)

It seems you're better adjusted than you think you are, anyway. I wish you the best of luck, that you'll find someone that will accept the burden of your love.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-12 01:09 ID:Heaven

>it's clear he or she has an emotional investment in the issue through unrelated life experiences. Or is just a troll.

Lol. Having a differing opinion makes me a troll huh? well I agree that I have life experiences that would put me in a better position to know when kids are just being kids.

>>19

I'm not bothering with replying seriously 'cause it's simply become a circular argument and you can continue till your blue in the face, won't make me agree with you.

You know my opinion, that's what you ask for when you come to such a board and that's all that matters.

23 Name: op : 2009-12-12 04:28 ID:3q+oiRW2

>>22

sigh this will be the last time I talk to you.

You are kind of sad, anon. I hope that you will address whatever life experiences forced you to become so jaded one day. It really isn't healthy to be so single minded.

What really makes me mad is that you dismiss everything I say as nonsense, that i'm simply being "immature".

"Maturity is a psychological term used to indicate that a person responds to the circumstances or environment in an appropriate and adaptive manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctual, and is not determined by one's age. Maturity also encompasses being aware of the correct time and place to behave and knowing when to act with appropriate emotion for the situation."

Anon, I don't know who you are, or what made you so completely defensive and overly opinionated. But you have to remember, that you are a flawed human just like all the rest of us here. I'm not trying to argue with you, i'm trying to reason with you, to gain your knowledge and experience and use it in my own situation and perhaps give you a sense of self-worth for doing so.

I think you fell in love hard, and it wasn't returned. But instead of taking the best from it as is and moving on, you still hold on to it firmly, and it affects your decision-making. Perhaps you should open those old wounds and find out whats festering deep inside. I'm doing the same, and trying to figure out why exactly I think about this girl so much, even though she doesn't care for me in the same way. Maybe she was unsure about her own feelings. Maybe i'm using her as a buffer for my own self-esteem. Maybe I just don't care whether or not she loves me back, my feelings won't go away. Hard to say, honestly. But we can't move forward unless we address whats holding us back. No matter what the consequences.

Please anon, don't let what happened in the past affect what can happen in the future. Life has too much to explore to be so narrow and bleak. I wish you all the best, man.

24 Name: op : 2009-12-12 04:49 ID:3q+oiRW2

>>21

Thanks again for the support. I find love to be so odd. I never really needed it, nor obsessed about it until now. I mean I figured we all have small crushes here or there that don't amount to much, or we see a beautiful girl that we cannot resist to look at, but love is only for those lucky enough to have the looks and brains for it. So being alone wouldn't be really all that bad. Hell, i've been alone for most of my life outside of family and a couple of friends. Perhaps that's why i'm doting so much on why I feel the way I feel, because I never really thought it was possible for anyone to love me. And I don't really do anything about it because i'm scared that I might be right.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-13 03:42 ID:+JOAGv0l

I'm not intending to incite further argument, but I tend to agree with >>13. I probably wouldn't have put it so bluntly, but I also share the same opinion that you should be able to look after yourself before you try to look after/start a relationship with someone else.

OP, a lot of what you've said within this thread is very contradictory. Maybe you should go back and re-read some of your posts. At some points you talk about being utterly dependent on her and being worried about being a pain to her, and then you deny being a burden to her and turn a full 180 degrees about your view on her.

To me, I just feel that you're going through a confusing time of your life, trying to discover yourself, and feel the need for a sense of belonging (which you think you would find in love). But I think at your age, these feelings are blown out of proportion, and it's important to realise this, and work on self improvement rather than staying fixated on this girl- whom you probably may or may not remember in a few years time.

Anyway. May I also suggest that you follow some of your own advice that you dish out for anon.

> Life has too much to explore to be so narrow and bleak.
> reevaluate some decisions in your life that are preventing you from seeing the whole picture

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-13 05:16 ID:Heaven

>>23
Just telling you. I'm not jaded at all. I live a very happy life and consider myself extremely lucky for the love and kindness I experience and all achieved with my practical, mature and down-to-earth way of dealing with things.

Maybe I am too blunt but people I've helped have appreciated pure honesty over ill placed kindness.

Cruel to be kind yeah?

Trying to lecture me heh.

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-13 17:12 ID:3q+oiRW2

>>25

Oh i'm not trying to start a relationship or anything. About a year ago I was, but I barely see her or speak to her now. The problem isn't really that i'm dependent on her. The problem is despite the fact that i've distanced myself in order to understand myself better, I still can't stop thinking about her. I've seen her all but 3 times in 6 months. It's like it's not really a conscious thought, it's not really something I can turn off at will, which bothers me. I like control, and being able to control my thoughts and emotions.

I suppose i'm being contradictory because my brain says one thing and my heart says something completely different. My mind says "she doesn't care for you, she's one girl out of millions, move on." but my heart says "There's something there, i'm telling you, there's something there and you'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't explore it".

I feel like i'm repeating myself over and over, but my feelings for her aren't rational, and I want to know why. Why I can't seem to control my thoughts and feelings for her. That's why this bothers me so much, i'm not really a person that dwells on something like this for this long. Anyways, thanks, perhaps I may have been too vague about my main problem: That even though I understand why she doesn't like me, I can't really accept it. Something is bothering me about the whole thing...

28 Name: op : 2009-12-13 18:32 ID:3q+oiRW2

>>26

Huh. You opened up. Screw my last post then.

Lol this made me facepalm. You still seem too overly protective of yourself. No one has a completely happy life. Look at Tiger Woods.

I guess i'm not intentionally trying to lecture you. In most situations I appreciate pure honesty because it opens up my perspective. Nothing more fun than finding people who think differently from you eh.

What bothers me the most is not the honesty, but the way it comes out. It's not morally subjective, but more or less unconsciously hurtful. Like underneath your posts lies some sort of bleeding pain. I agree, kindness without any sort of reasoning is absurd. But there is such a thing as ill placed honesty. We can't all be honest about everything, because we aren't perfect enough to understand it fully.

Sometimes I feel that we make unreasonable assumptions from what we see from society. We see people who seem to be well adapted and perfect, so we think that other people who can't be that way have problems. We forget to realize that we don't see everything from everyone. No one is completely adjusted. And no one should be expected to be that way either.

Sorry. I've been kind of an ass to you even though you still are trying to help in your own way. I'm trying really hard to understand your posts though. If I can't look outside of myself and see the point of view of others, then what am I worth as a person?

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-14 01:10 ID:Heaven

>>28
Tiger woods cheated on his wife with numerous people. He made his unhappiness silly.

And Lol I never said I was 100% happy all the time just like anyone, but I live a very happy life, I think it's pretty much great.

>Like underneath your posts lies some sort of bleeding pain.

You see things where you want to see them, doesn't mean it is the reality. If it benefits you go ahead and fantasize whatever scenarios suit you the best.

This is my last post because talking to you is a profound waste of time.

30 Name: op : 2009-12-14 03:10 ID:3q+oiRW2

>>29

And talking to you is a struggle. You need to grow up.

31 Name: op : 2009-12-14 03:39 ID:3q+oiRW2

>>29

Yes tiger cheated because he might have a problem with women. You say it like he could help himself. Maybe he couldn't. You know what, what the hell does tiger and any of your bullshit have to do with my own situation. Trying to understand you is impossible, because you are so god-damned defensive, for no reason. Like, NO REASON. Maybe if I had incited something, I could see you being angry. But I can't see anyone who is well-adjusted so stubborn. I'm not trying to berate you, dammit, I want to understand why you want to berate me. And for christs sake kid, it's great that you live such a charmed life, but I don't care about that. Man, you ARE a troll. Some smug smartass that doesn't know the meaning of hardship. Bet you feel like mr. bigshit knowing that in every post you make your right about everything, huh?

There is nothing balanced about your comments at all. I may disagree with >>25 on some points, but I take his thoughts and learn from them because he projected his ideas in a calm and rational manner. I don't need anyone choking my throat.

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