Hello again glad my post made some sense they usually don’t make any sense at all. You didn't have to defend your views on women I knew you didn't mean it. I get what you mean those kinds of girls get on my nerves too.
I tend to fall in love pretty easily unfortunately. I've only really dated two girls though. I know how you feel. I felt the same towards the first girl I dated even though we broke up over two years ago. If I saw her I felt such emotion that I don't even know how to describe it. I was "lucky" when we broke up I was leaving high school so I didn't really have to see her much afterwards. I still saw her more often than I would have liked though. She was my best friend's friend and my sister’s friend so we ended up being forced together on several occasions. At first I used to run away if she showed up but eventually I was able to talk to her like a normal person but even then I still had trouble with it despite all my reasoning and the feelings still come back. I was irritated and a little angry at her at first too. I still like her over two years later but I know I can never date her. I like her enough to respect her wishes and not try and date her anymore even though I want to. The reasoning to get to this point is difficult to convey but it hinges on the fact that if you care about this person you will recognize that trying to date her will make her unhappy and the goal of love is to make the other person happy. So you don’t love her from what you’ve said you just want her like a possession. I’m sure that’s not how you actually feel but you have to realize it this fact. You have to rationalize your feelings. It took me a good 4 or 5 months to completely rationalize the whole thing but I was mildly depressed at that point too and I was horribly alone. You can get over it. It just takes time there is no other option. If you really feel like deceiving yourself focus on making yourself a better person so that maybe in another year or two you can ask her out again. I still have more to say but this post is getting long. By the way do you like Porcupine Tree your last paragraph seemed a lot like two of their songs. Good luck with this if you want more input from me just ask.