"Ruminate"? Jesus Christ. You know absolutely nothing about love. Dramatic and idiotically whimsical? Are you kidding me? You don't use logic when you love someone. Why do you think people stay with abusers and fuck ups? Emotions aren't something you can rationalize, they are feelings, not conscious decisions. Plus, people love differently. The sheer fact that you can't understand this...well, makes sense I suppose.
You seem to be...well..inflexible and lacking in understanding. I find that people who keep an open mind regardless of how something appears to be can find a way much easier than a person closed off by their fears and insecurities.
You can call it lame, you can call me overly dramatic and sad, but in the end I know my own feelings and I'll take time to understand them better.
Secret, you make it sound like the fact that she doesn't care for me means that my own feelings should fade. Why should they? She's a great person and a good friend. Perhaps i'm only worried that i'm being a pain to her for these feelings, but aside from that what reason would I have to close them up?
I met her when I wanted to change, and understand others better. For the longest time i've been so shut in my own mind that I could not see anyone other than myself. Maybe she'll never love me. That doesn't really matter. In the end, I still get to see her. And that's all that really matters.
Buddy, methinks you've been hurt. BAD.