I have a question about when you would culturally use different levels of politeness in Japanese.
Would you use formal or informal speech when speaking with a really close friend's parents?
My best friend moved here from Japan a few years ago and her parents can only really speak enough English to function, so if I talk to them I have to use Japanese. However, I'm always worried I'm being too casual/too formal depending on how I'm speaking.
I know there aren't really set rules for that type of situation, but is desu/masu form too formal, or is infinitive/casual form too impolite?
Thank you!!
If you're not certain about a situation, go for polite. It's easier for a person to tell you to loosen up than it is to tell you that you're being too casual.
First of all,I'm sorry for my poor English but I try to do my best in order to convey my opinion to you.
There is an underlying thought called confucianism, which was derived from China, in Japan.
We Japanese were unconsciously taught this idea by growing up in our society. And "Tyou you no jyo 長幼の序”is at the core of this thought.
The young should respect thier elders.
Basically, it is safer for you to use desu/masu form.
But I think it's OK with you if you sometimes use casual form.
Thank you for reading my poor English. Can I make myself understood in English?
>>1
どういたしまして。日本語とても上手なので友達の両親ともきっと良好な関係を築いていけると思いますよ。どのような言葉遣いをするかで人間関係がいい方向にも悪い方向にも向かう可能性があるので言葉遣いってとても重要ですよね。でも丁寧な表現にしろカジュアルな言い方にしろ人間関係を築く上では諸刃の剣のような側面があると思います。あまりに丁寧な言葉遣いが過ぎると相手との心の距離がなかなか
縮まらないこともあるし場合によっては慇懃無礼といったような事態を招くこともあります。基本的には相手との親密さが増すほど言葉遣いがカジュアルになっていきますがそこに社会的な上下関係や長幼の序、その他諸々の要素が加わってくるので人間関係ってとても複雑ですよね。日本には「親しき仲にも礼儀あり」という格言があります。
親密になり過ぎて節度を失うと不和のもとになるので親密な中にも
礼儀を守るようにと言ったような戒めの言葉です。私は人生の指針としてこの言葉をとても大切にしています。基本的には相手を侮らず敬う気持ちを持ち続けていれば、多少は言葉遣いが過ぎて相手との関係がうまく行かなくなった場合でも修復可能だと思ってもいますが..