I don't doubt that I will succeed in school if I were to go back again. But in the circumstances I am in, I think it isn't the time yet. I need to earn more money before I can choose the option to go back. I have few decisions to make and all that been boggering me, it isn't easy to decide. If I can't go now, I can always go back later in life, even at my late 30s. I don't concern with how people look at me if I go back to school at this age. I hope I own my own house by this time since it feels shameful in society to not have something valueble in the form of assets that is worth alot and can be invested. But if I lose my job I may consider going back to school, it sort of depends. In my current state, I still haven't decided what I really want to do exactly and how to achieve it. It is easy to say I want to bring otaku culture to my area or contribute to an already established groups and clubs. But at the end if you consider carefully in your future, you may think that what you are learning now doesn't contribute to your interest, and you may think that when you make it to there, you won't be happy. Also that you may have a lot of thing you want to do, but you cannot do them all at once, if you choose to do one, then it leaves no time for you to do the other, and the other may be required to relate to your interest. This is where I'm trying to decide which is the best for me, and at the end the most satisfying in life that I find in the future even when I get old, I don't want to regret and get depressed later on in life. I want to do something that can evolve later in the future for improvements, creative, satisfying, and able to express your ideas and yourself.
My interest is changing the world and reality. Think something along the lines of Lain. But that would require you be gifted and genius. There is a limit to ones potential that one should take into account to consider what they can do. Really there is nothing I want to do but change the world and reality to my ideals. Thats the major part of the reason I'm depressed.
The only thing that remains is trying to get good job and earn money in order to attract others to accept me, which I believe is most people in the society is going for, it doesn't matter if the person likes it or not, as long as it impresses other or attract them to the person, it is all good. People want to be accepted into society, as long as they achieve that, they aren't worried about doing things they really want to do, and give up. Most people take things for granted as along as it in in accordance to common acceptance. But others say, "sometimes you just got to go with what you've got"..... this sounds depressing. no wonder people do drugs after they found this to be true or just simply fit into what comes their ways and not complain. As people discourages others by saying that you shouldn't complain and whine about your situations, and implying you should accept your fate and destiny.