im an average English guy whose age is 31, and im also unemployed at the moment. okay let me start to tell u my odd story..(but all true)

i havent had any girl friends in my life(but it doesnt mean i dont like women, i actually do like them). just because no women wants me, since i look aweful, like a monster. To discribe it better, ill tell u a story. one day, when i was on a lift, a boy(and his mom)came in when the door opend, and as he looked up and saw my face, he said "oh my god!!"...

Because of my ugly looking, i had always been picked on by girls(and guys) through all my school yrs. they always jumped on me and often, even punched in my face which made my looking worse. so, from these experiences, i lost all my confidence with women.. even though i like them...

the only woman i can rely on and have physical contact(i mean in a sexual way) with is only my mom. my dad passed away before i recognized he was my dad. i guess we (i and my mom) were both lonely and thats why we had some sex...(not many times!) i dont do it anymore(the last time was a year ago) and i wont either(i swear) but still, i cant mentally shake off my mom, since she still needs me, both mentally and physically.

i guess you might tell me to rent a flat(apartment) to live separately from my mom, but please note that im unemployed therefore living separatelly cant economically an option(and also im not such an independent person).

do you have any other idea?? any good advice wanted