I always had serious trouble socializing. Basically every time I am in a situation where I could meet people, the experience and the results are completely ruined by my fear and the subsequent shy/introverted attitude. I am 26. I wish I could make friends with people as easy as everybody does. But instead I wasted my youth behind a screen. When people talk of social events, night life, travels, I don't know what to say and I feel I'm an outcast and that they hate me because of my diversity.
I have no hope left, not even the thought of a girlfriend can confort me, because I know that I could only get one with a past as sad as mine, but in that case, I also know that my own sadness is more than enough, and I'm better off alone than with another sad person like me.
I wish I know how to change myself and experience life as normal ppl do..