Well, I'm in the closing weeks of high school now. I feel like I've failed somehow; like I didn't try hard enough, missed out on any social life and the whole high school experience.
I don't know what to do anymore really. I'm constantly unfulfilled. I just expected more out of life, maybe I expected too much?
I don't have interest in anything really. I'm not a gamer, don't like music, don't like sports, not interested in relationships. I'm not motivated to do anything either. Sure I can go to college, get a job, live confortably, but I'll always be bored.
I can't make friends easily. I can't relate to other people. I wouldn't know what to talk about or anything. Nothing is on my mind most of the time that isn't depressing. I don't want to take up any hobbies because I'm horrible at everything I attempt.
Sigh...
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars,
compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good
health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed
interest mortage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your
friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a
three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing
game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose
rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable
home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up
brats you spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
There are about 7 billion humans in this world. You are nothing.
>>1 I can relate, Right now I too am in the closing weeks of my highschool. Sitting here while sipping from Kimchi bowl in a 3 bedroom house all by self. I live on my own, my family went back a few months ago and left the house to me. And I have not gotten my admission from where I wanted yet.
MAN, where are the days when I would spend 6 hours straight making game mods, stop motions, computer case mods and all...
My guess is, we should relax, pass these few weeks and turn a new leaf in summer time.
My student life ends in less than 2 months. I'm going to work on a really interesting but very unstable domain, I have a huge loan on my back, I'll probably have to move, I don't have many things that will stay as they are. I'm afraid. Yet, I'm alive, and that's how it is.
You still have time to see that coming. Enjoy it.