So My friend pushed me to talk about my issues and once I started I couldn't stop. It's not that I have many issues, in fact it is just one: I don't care about anything at the moment.
I'll explain this: At this stage I'm just going with the flow, I don't have any goals and somehow I don't care about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed.
I'm smart, about to complete my degree in science and I've got many friends, no worries at the moment. The thing is I've fallen into a routine in my life and it's not that I don't like it, it's that I don't care. If I were to explain it as an analogy I'd say I'm in a boat that just goes by the flow, I don't know where it goes to, I don't know where I am and I don't care.
What I want is someone to punch me, I want to worry about something, I want to yell at someone, I want to laugh until it hurts my stomach, I want to feel depressed, I want to feel something. Things have become so predictable that there are no surprises no funny parts, i.e. I know the spoilers.
My friend said to me "so your life has no spice", and that analogy serves pretty well to explain how I got here. My whole life has been about keeping my distance from trouble. Low marks would bring me trouble with my parents --> perform good at school. Drugs make you stupid --> I stayed away from them. I'm afraid of infections --> flirt but don't have sex. Etc. Nowadays I keep an eye on my sodium intake, don't drink alcohol during the semester, avoid sugar, brush my teeth + dental floss + mouthwash after each meal etc. The thing is I don't do any of that because I want to but because I want to prevent trouble. So yeah, my life lacks spice because I know spice will bring stomach ache so I'd rather have a plain meal.
My question is: What can I do about it? Shall I go out tomorrow to do random stuff? If so, how to do that? 'cause I'm pretty sure I'll make a plan before leaving the house. Or shall I go back to fool myself by pretending nothing of this is happening (or not happening)?
Thanks for your time, I do appreciate it.