hi all. i am a 20 year old male in college. i have been obsessed with the japanese culture since i was in elementary school, i even taught myself japanese by going to various sites online. i dream of going to japan one day and meeting new people, hopefully even a pretty girlfriend that won't laugh at me as soon as i say i like anime.

but lately, i feel like my life has no purpose. of the few japanese girls that i know from school, none shows any interest in me. i would converse to them in japanese, making them feel welcome and thus continue to talk to me, but they would just laugh and answered me in english. i know my japanese isn't the greatest, but i am making the effort.

and it just makes me wonder if all these years i have been wasting my time in japanese. of course i love the culture, but maybe the dream of me going to japan and meeting girls (or just friends in generally) just a big dream? because they just don't think we can be friends because i'm too otaku?