>>1,7
All that seems very hollow, and it's no surprise that your feel your life is meaningless. Japan is not a life goal, it's a country like any other.
Going to Japan wont accomplish anything, and could make you feel disillusioned. Just like the Japanese that visit Paris, France and suffer from tremendous culture shock when filthy streets and rude Parisians shatter their romantic preconceptions.

I'd recommend trying a new dream, concentrate on building a life in your country of birth
If your Japanese is good, you could get a job as a translator or teacher.