Friendship woes (5)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2007-10-08 03:15 ID:zrVRxOfF

Well, let's say I have this friend, and let's call her Katie.
Now, let's say I have another friend, and we'll call him Timothy.
Well, I've known both of these friends for a decent while and I've come to see them both in their own light. Timothy is someone with whom I spend a lot of my time, you might say he's my "best friend." Katie is someone who I don't see too often, but who I've always felt would "be there" for me when I had nobody else to turn to. Now, a few years ago, Katie and I dated for a short while and, while it wasn't anything serious, it always seems to hang in our minds, and I've always felt just a slight bit attracted to her. Now let's say Timothy and Katie meet for the first time, and they begin to act attracted to one another. Now soon both Katie and Timothy (and mind you I honestly have very few other friends who I actually like) seem to be shutting me out in order to associate with one another, and begin to develop a romantic relationship. I begin to feel as if they're both distancing themselves from me and grow rather depressed. You see, at this point I feel as if they're both excluding me from their lives and becoming closer. Am I just jealous? Am I an emo fag? Am I overly possessive? I feel like, at this point, the closest thing I have to friends are internet pen pals. Timothy is all but ignoring me to spend time with Katie and Katie is just shrugging me off and acting annoyed with me. I'm rambling on and on, and I probably didn't describe my situation very well, but I just want to know what's wrong and hear some comforting words. Is it me or them? Please Anon, help me.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2007-10-08 04:20 ID:gIzqfMBe

> Am I just jealous?


> Am I an emo fag?

No, you're human. Humans get sad and angry and lonely and jealous.
Emos have floppy, greasy hair hanging over their face and nick their skin with a razor for attention.

> Am I overly possessive?

No. You just want your best friend to stay your best friend, I assume.
Focus on that and let 'Katie' go. It's unlikely you'll get her back at this point.
When those two break up, they might try and force you to chose between them anyway.

> I just want to know what's wrong

Only you (or they) could know for sure.

> hear some comforting words.

Sorry, you're only getting the cold comfort of honesty from me.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2007-10-08 04:23 ID:zrVRxOfF

>Focus on that and let 'Katie' go. It's unlikely you'll get her back at this point.

Well, honestly, we've maintained a simple friendship for quite a while, which isn't anything I want to lose. Of course, my jealousy and feelings of exclusion are slowly turning to loathing against her anyway, which I feel is in part due to me trying not to take my feelings out against 'Tim.'

>Sorry, you're only getting the cold comfort of honesty from me.

Ah, you see, that's just enough for me. I don't expect people to get all sappy and shit, and if they do, well, they're probably just acting. Thank you.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2007-10-08 04:37 ID:gIzqfMBe

> Ah, you see, that's just enough for me.
> I don't expect people to get all sappy and shit

Of course. I can't say I empathize personally, since I have no idea who you are or what the content of your character is, but I partially understand your situation based on my own experiences.
Even if you end up losing both of them, don't give up on people.

> Thank you.


5 Name: Anonymous : 2007-10-09 14:59 ID:AJXxMaCP

Try to make some new friends. When they see you are getting on with your life Katie and Tim will probably feel more comfortable about being friends with you in light of their relationship. At the moment they probably know you are still fond of Katie, so what they are trying to do is not rub your face in it by being together as a couple with you as the odd one out. Unfortunately it's not that simple and you've been hurt. The best way to get over it is to just get on with life. All the time that you're not getting on with life they will see you as still brooding over Katie and will be uncomfortable with having you in their social lives. By making more friends you'll be showing them that you're not just sitting in your room feeling upset and possibly trying to sabotage their relationship (not that you are from what you've said, it's just a fear they could have)

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