[anger] big issues [alcohol] (14)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-03 19:54 ID:XUdbanCF

I am not sure if this belongs here, but I
don't care much either.

As the title suggests, I have HUGE
anger issues, and an alcoholic.
I almost lost my job, I lost my woman and I'm
slowly starting to lose my mind.
I cannot stop drinking and for some reason,
lately at least I've been getting very angry
over simple matters, because someone on the
street or at some café yells and/or says
something really ignorant and stupid.
I sit there, trying not to lose my cool and
throw the fucking table at him and then crush
his fucking skull with my boot.
I get angry over writing this dammit.

I am afraid to go to a therapist, he might
piss me off and then I might do something
stupid. But it doesn't stop there, I am
scared of staying in a room with someone else
for that reason, because maybe I'll lose
control and.. who knows what I'll do.

Now, alcohol. Dammit, I am very
addicted to alcohol. I usually drink light
stuff thought (beer, vodka) so I think it's
possible to stop it, but not while I have
anger issues. I started drinking alcohol
mainly because I had insomnia (helps to
sleep) and because of my anger issues (made
me dizzy and cooler) which allowed me to be
near others without being very afraid of
losing my calm.

But lately, not drinking alcohol will
drive me mad, doesn't matter whether it's 7
am or 11 pm. If I need a drink I will drink,
without thinking about it. And now how I lost
my girl.. well we got into a fight over me,
my anger issues and alcohol, I got really
pissed and beat the shit out of her. I am so
glad she didn't go to the police or
something, but she left me. Damn, I don't
fucking blame her, who the fuck would want to
be around an alcoholic with anger problems?
Nobody, even I don't like myself anymore.
Please, fucking help me. Therapist is not an
option, and I know for certain I cannot stop
drinking.

I thought of finding out what pisses me off,
but that won't work, because EVERYTHING
pisses me off to no end. I simply get pissed
because people are happier than me, because
they are stupid, because they are not the
same color, because they walk differend. I
wasn't always like that. I also thought of
sleeping pills and stuff like that, but I
know ill just get more addicted. FUCK.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-03 21:06 ID:7QOOpaWy

Try an anger management class. ^^

3 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-03 22:43 ID:g0WYqjpm

You NEED professional help.
Even if you're afraid you might do something stupid while with a therapist, you still need to go try. They're trained to deal with those types of situations, so the best thing you can do is tell him/her up front that you're afraid of getting violent during sessions.
This seems like way too big of a problem for you to deal with on your own, so you really should seek someone out. Your alcohol dependency will only exacerabte your anger issues, so it's extremely important that you begin to wean yourself away from that dependency. Groups like AA have good reputations, but i haven't ever gone to any of them, so I can't reccomend it first hand.
Before anything, however, definitely make youself go to a therapist. If you're already physically lashing out at people, especially those you care about, then you need help immediately.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-04 04:36 ID:2L/F2tJk

>>3's right

Alcohol addiction is a disease which requires professional help.

You don't heal from cancer on your own through sheer willpoer, and same goes for alcohol addiction,... Consider this, alcohol already seriously damaged your life when you tried to face it alone, so why not trying a different spproach?

5 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-04 08:11 ID:78/OASPq

stop bein a jerk

6 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-04 17:53 ID:Heaven

light stuff... "vodka" haha
next someone says that alcohol is not a drug.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-10 01:22 ID:qpMoAcI3

Hi OP,
I have a pretty similar situation, except with anxiety rather than anger (that is, i drank to fall asleep + it gave me relief whether I was alone, or [especially] in groups of people). You need to get help. I already have two DWIs under my belt at age 24. I got both of these the day after a binge, when I hadn't been drinking for at least 12 hours, and I still managed to pull over the legal limit twice. I've quit multiple jobs, lost most of my friends, and haven't been able to finish a bachelor's degree thanks to something that i originally thought would help me. I have a therapist which helps a lot, and as for AA, you have to check out a lot of different groups, to find the one you like. Alcoholics are just like other people in the world in the sense that they are all different people. If you go to a bunch of different meetings, eventually, you will find a group of people that you can get along with. The biggest issue I usually have with AA is the God factor. A lot of groups might try to ram it down your throat, but be patient, and eventually, you'll find one where there are people who don't care what you believe, as long as you believe in trying to get better (all that was assuming that, like me, you aren't religious). It is really hard, but you will come out better in the long run if you start doing it. When I began to take it seriously, I went from a straight F student (through the fact that i didn't complete any of the work, because i was either too drunk or too hung over to) to getting a 4.0 last semester.
Good Luck OP.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-10 01:30 ID:c+XKUYxu

>>6

Vodka is pretty light. Try drinking a bottle of Wild Turkey 101 Proof vs a bottle of Finlandia.

9 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-10 15:31 ID:Heaven

>>8
Bourbon is pretty light. Try drinking a bottle of Everclear 190 Proof vs a bottle of Wild Turkey.

10 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-11 10:13 ID:zpdRk6Yq

turtles attacking.....

11 Name: da PG king : 2008-02-11 11:47 ID:QYGIzaaQ

smile, but carefully...

12 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-11 12:11 ID:Heaven

>>9
Everclear is pretty light. Try drinking a bottle of 100% pure ethanol from the science labs at school vs a bottle of Everclear.

in b4 metho

13 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-11 12:34 ID:Heaven

>>12
Weak! I've drunk paraffin before!

14 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-13 01:00 ID:Heaven

Just a tip, OP. Don't let your anger get the best of you. I was at a cafe once and was talking with somebody about shit. Some tosser two tables down overheard and disagreed with me, I guess. He stepped up, tried to fight, screaming about how he'd crush my rib cage with his fist. Long story short I knocked him out in one hit in front of about 40 people.

Drink more I guess. It's what I do.

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